My husband Joe recently shared a few “promposal” stories with me, reminding me of the intense joy, courage and compassion felt by adolescents. For those of you unfamiliar with this time-honoured secondary school custom, promposals are the delivery of heartfelt sentiments, generally performed in a very public manner. I felt touched by the thoughtful ways people were asking someone special to be their date.
Expressing our affections for another can make us feel vulnerable, especially if we are unsure how the other person will respond. Rejection is a risk. To put oneself in a vulnerable position publicly takes even more courage.
Joe told me about a female hockey player who wished to ask out a member of the boys hockey team. His team was scheduled to practice immediately after hers. She secretly enlisted the help of both teams… even the coaches were included. It was their task to distract the intended recipient while both teams lined up their sticks to make a path to a message spelled out in pucks on the freshly cleaned ice.
My goal is to score a date with you for the prom.
Luckily for both parties involved, he accepted. I imagine a great roar of cheers arising from all those who helped orchestrate this wonderful event.
Another story involves a fellow who was in charge of thanking a particular girl during a school assembly for her role in organizing an event. He got up in front of the entire school, acknowledged her effort, and then with only the slightest of pauses, presented her with a bouquet of roses, adding,
There is one other thing I would like to say…
With the entire school watching, he took the plunge:
I don’t have anyone to go to the prom with me. Will you do me the honour of being my date?
Over 400 people held their breath as they waited for her reply. After what must have seemed like an eternity to the young man, she broke into a huge smile and gleefully accepted.
These young people inspire me. How often is it that we have the opportunity to witness such grand acts of courage? I don’t know about you, but I found the adolescent years excruciating. I stand in awe of the fortitude it takes to stand on a mountain top and declare one’s love or admiration in such a bold manner.
That, my friends, is living. This week, I chose to think about how inviting others to share powerful emotions can bring us together.
Warm thoughts from the Landing Strong Team,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Founder, Landing Strong
