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You do you

You do you

It’s been a few weeks now since we’ve been allowed out and I still can’t get my haircut. Things are returning to normal, but not for me.  My roots are exposed, clear as day for everyone to see.  I feel vulnerable, and less than my best self. 

Everyone around me is looking good while somehow I got left behind.  I even know someone who has had his hair cut twice already.  How did I end up I the slow lane, I wonder?

In groups, it’s inevitable that some members will recover quickly, while others, who do the exact same programs, may take longer.  It’s easy to fall into the comparison game, measuring ourselves by the progress of those around us.  

I do have a hair appointment, but it isn’t for three more weeks.  I tell myself it’ll be worth the wait.  I imagine myself emerging from the salon thrilled and confident with the transformation that will inevitably occur.  I hope you can do the same.  Do recovery on your time.  You do you, and don’t worry about the rest.  As long as you keep plugging away, it’ll come…in good time.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Dawn of a new beginning

Dawn of a new beginning

Today is the day things start to return to normal.  The dawn of a new beginning.  Stores will open.  We can go out for dinner again.  Heck if I’m lucky I may even score a haircut in the near future.

When we are faced with threat, it’s normal to be hesitant to step back out there.

It’s like falling off a horse… it can be hard to get back on.  The problem is, if we don’t, it will be hard to get back into a normal routine.  A natural recovery curve happens after any traumatic exposure.  It’s natural to want to hide in order to keep ourselves safe, but we will never really know that the danger has passed until we leave our rabbit holes. It’s only by putting ourselves out there, that we are able to know that we can experience new things without negative consequences.  

If we avoid going out, we never learn that it’s safe. That’s when we get stuck.

So I encourage you to go out.  Do it safely, of course, practicing social distancing and proper health precautions.  But take the steps necessary to restore a semblance of normalcy to your life.

Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise.  Laugh with a neighbour.  Share a meal with a friend.

Warm regards,

How do we mark the passage of time?

How do we mark the passage of time?

Many people I’ve talked to recently complain about the challenge of feeling unmotivated.  It seems they’re working twice as hard as usual, less than usual, or having to balance a full work load while co-habitating an overcrowded house. The consistent theme is that they don’t feel motivated. 

I often think of my working life as blocks of concentrated energy punctuated by tantalizing rewards.  Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but I love it even more when I know there is a vacation coming, or a family outing.  Or even a simple night out with friends at the movies or local pub.  

The strange thing about time recently is that many days feel the same.  Excitement consists of the sun coming out, or having time to work the garden in the evening.  Such is life.

Today I noticed a few businesses starting to open their doors.  It felt like spring was finally here.  Perhaps we’ll all catch that forward momentum as we look ahead.

If you’re looking to boost your energy and motivation, check out our new on-line course starting next Friday:  Mind/Body Health and Recovery.  A holistic look at getting better. Each day, we’ll spend time checking in with each person to see how they’re doing, and do some fun exercises with Dr. Adrienne Wood to learn how making a few simple changes can have a profound impact on health. Sleep better, look better…feel better.  I’m in.

Now that’s something to look forward to.  Hope to see you there!  We still have few seats left.

Starting May 28: Mind Body Health and Recovery

Warm wishes,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Small flakes big snow

Small flakes big snow

This week I looked out the window and noticed a flurry of tiny snowflakes making their way down from the skies. Weather forecasters were calling for a large storm, and I knew that was going to make for a complicated day at the office.

“Small flakes big snow” one of the clients mentioned on their way out, “get your snow shovels ready!”

I’ve heard that expression before, and wondered about its origins.  Is there some ancient wisdom I’m unaware of that would allow me to be able to better predict my day simply by looking at the size of snowflakes?   A few minutes of google research later, I realize it’s not quite so simple.  Warmer temperatures lead to higher water content, and thus larger flakes.  Colder atmospheric temperature forms smaller flakes because there isn’t as much sticky stuff to hold the flakes together.  So in a way It’s true: if it’s warm outside it isn’t likely to stay snowy for long…it might turn to slushy wet stuff or rain.  Small snowflakes and lower temperatures are a sign that whatever falls is likely to hang around for longer.

It strikes me that change is a bit like the snow.  If we try to do too much too soon (large flakes) it isn’t likely to be lasting.  Small repeated steps in the right direction, however, accumulate over time and can lead to a mountain of change. If we turn the heat up on ourselves too quickly, it’s not sustainable.   If I want to take up running, for example, and start by trying to run 5 km at once, it’s likely too much.  Sure I did it some years ago, but that doesn’t mean my body will recognize that movement now.  A series of small steps, building up over time will increase my stamina so that I’m better equipped to do the run.  Maybe a better goal is to start walking 10,000 steps a day instead.   If I want any positive change to be lasting, easing in with gradual small changes is the way to go.

Keeping in line with our New Year commitment to self-compassion, I will embrace my inner (running) warrior, and enjoy pleasant walks through the snow this winter. Enjoying each small flake as it accumulates into something bigger. Maybe you will too?

Warm wishes,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Savouring what matters

Savouring what matters

The Holidays can be a difficult time for many, with increased expectations around social engagements, drinking, crowds and overindulgences.  What if we simply focus on what the holiday spirit truly means.  No matter what our spiritual beliefs may be, it’s a time when people come together to celebrate, offer support to one another, and reflect on the passing year.  

It’s undeniably a time of year where shopping, preparing elaborate meals, and commercialism seemingly take over.  It’s also true that almost half of all charitable donations made by Canadians happen in the last two months of the year.  This suggests that despite the stress associated with the season, it’s a time when people are thinking of those who face more challenging circumstances.  

In the midst of one of the busiest times of the year, we are able to set aside our differences and recognize our shared humanity.  When people are spending the most and perhaps are feeling the stress of their financial state, they recognize that this discomfort isn’t temporary for many.  When they are surrounded by those they love, thoughts turn to those who may not be as fortunate.  

We hope you’re able to take some time over the holidays to reflect on all the small things that are meaningful to you in your life.  We are grateful for our connection with you, our sense of shared purpose as we support those who are injured, and our appreciation for those who continue to put themselves in harm’s way so we may be safe.

Warmest wishes for a safe and happy holiday season,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Starting the day with intention

Starting the day with intention

This week, I met someone new.  Let’s call her “Ray of Sunshine”.  She sparkled so brightly I was almost blinded by the bling that adorned her arms and fingers.  Fluorescent pink eye shadow and a matching headband complemented her brightly flowered shirt.  

“Thanks Girlfriend” she sung out to me happily as she rang up my purchase.  

“Great outfit” I offered smiling 

“I gotta whole cupboard ‘a bright flowered shirts to choose from” she chimed in,  “Makes me happy”.

Now that’s a woman with intention, I thought with admiration as I left the store.  It felt good that this happy stranger had referred to me as “girlfriend”, randomly deciding that kindness was to be her default greeting.  Everything about her told me that before she had even started her day, she’d decided it was going to be a good one.  What would happen If I started each day with the same degree of intention?

Something to ponder as I search my makeup drawer for baby blue eyeshadow and a matching sparkle shirt. 🙂 
 
Warm regards, 

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong