Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

by | Oct 7, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Resilience, Support

Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

How do you define resilience? Many might think of a titanium vest that deflects bullets or adversity: a protective shell that protects from harm.

Recently, I have come to understand resiliency as something softer, sweeter.

It’s the ability to work through emotions rather than shutting them down.

To be able to slow down time when the world around us is speeding up.

It’s about making space to really talk and listen to the people who are important to us, asking for what we need and learning to be emotionally present without judgement.

The work of resiliency happens behind close doors, in sharing circles.

Injured Veterans and First Responders often complain that they are too quick to experience sadness. They view it as evidence of injury since they used to be able to “turn their emotions off.”  Me, I view it as a sign of recovery.  Emotional availability is resiliency starting to take shape.

A wise First Responder recently shared a Thomas Edison quote with me that captures the notion of resiliency quite succinctly: Most people miss opportunity and look over it because they don’t recognize it looks like overalls and hard work.

Together, we ‘ll strap on our coveralls and not be afraid to stir up some dust. Ultimately that’s what allows clarity.

But it’s not all about hard work. We also need to have fun. We’re excited to announce the launch of our new program Date Night. It’s a chance to reconnect with the fun, playful side of yourself and enjoy a stress-free evening with a close friend or partner. Join us for an evening of creativity, conversation and connection. The first Date Night starts on Thursday, October 13th from 6-9 pm. Thanks to the support of Employment and Social Development Canada, there is no fee for this program. Light refreshments are provided.

We are also registering participants for our second round of Creating Confidence Clarifying Strengths, scheduled to start November 1, 2022. This feel-good program is receiving rave reviews and has no fee thanks to the generous funding of ACOA.

Call (902) 472-2972 or email info@landingstrong.com to register.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Dismantling the shame shed

Dismantling the shame shed

by | Jun 24, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Love, Resilience

Dismantling the shame shed

There’s an old shack in the bottom of the garden.  Dilapidated and broken.  Perhaps you know it? 

We’ll call it the shame shed.   A place where it’s oh so easy to go. I’ve spent many a rainy Saturday afternoon there.  It beacons, inviting… 

It has no real use, except to keep us trapped in a Groundhog Day of regret.   

I invite you to dismantle it.   

Let us help you take out old habits to make way for the new. View the world through a different perspective.  

Fall is a great time to sow the seeds of change. Take a peek at the programs we have lined up.  We invite you to plan ahead by giving us a call and/or dropping Julie a line to let her know which programs you’re interested in.  

Identity and Transition: Knowing who you are once the uniform comes off 
(Starts September 9th)

Navigating the Cultural Divide: Mastering how to fit into civilian life 

Creating Confidence & Clarifying Strengths:  Be the best version of you. 

Monthly Maintaining Health Programs: Heath boosters designed to keep you strong. New content each month 
(This program usually runs online, but will be held in-person on July 14th and August 18th only) 

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

What do we regret?

What do we regret?

by | Jun 17, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Love, Resilience

What do we regret?

Looking back on my life, there are definitely things I wish I’d done differently.  Had I known up front the consequences of some decisions I made, I may have chosen another path.   

Hmmm…would I have chosen to work in the federal penitentiary?  That’s a big one. 

The thing is, I like who I am now.  I understand people’s struggles because I too have been there.   

I’m the bi-product of all decisions made to this point in time, good and bad. I’ve survived even my most human moments. 

Maya Angelou stated: 

      I can be changed by what happens to me.  But I refuse to be reduced by it. 

Instead of having regrets, let’s choose to celebrate the wisdom we gain from our experiences. Cherish our scars and the stories they tell.  

With forgiveness, and acceptance, we rise together.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The courage to forgive

The courage to forgive

by | Jun 10, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Resilience

The courage to forgive

I’ve been working in the field of trauma for close to thirty years: in women’s shelters, the federal penitentiary system, hospitals, schools and community. In all the dark spaces and all of the dark places, one universal truth I’ve come to understand is that healing and compassion are closely intertwined. Anger and shame anchor us to the past, whereas forgiveness and self-compassion pave the way forward. When we live in anger, we allow others to control the narrative of our journey. There’s incredible freedom in letting go.


Martin Luther King Jr. understood this when he wrote:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


Desmond Tutu states:

Forgiveness is not weak. It takes incredible courage to face and overcome powerful emotions.


Next Thursday, our Maintaining Health Program is going to explore the freedom that accompanies compassion and forgiveness.

If you’ve taken a previous program, you’re welcome to join. Just drop us a line so that we know you’re coming. 

We also still have spots left in the Navigating Next Steps Program Series, starting this Tuesday. Creating Confidence and Clarifying Strengths runs for five weeks. It is designed to build trust and confidence, identify strengths and re-affirm values that are most important.

We look forward to seeing you.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

by | May 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Change, Courage

Working in the federal penitentiary, I frequently met inmates who chose alcohol over life.  They repeatedly shared stories of relationships that fell apart because the pull towards substances was more compelling than their desire to be in relationships.  When given the choice, they chose Johnny Walker over their partners. 

The decision to cut down on substance use (or to be abstinent) is really a decision about health and connection.  

I choose to trust.
I choose to feel.
I choose to fully live.

Abstinence does indeed help the heart grow fonder.
We run group programs year round designed to help you ensure the life you are living reflects the life you want. Feel free to call us if you’d like to jump into an upcoming group.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Being there for one another the best way we can

Being there for one another the best way we can

by | Feb 5, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Support

“I got you a delicious cake,” said the mole
“Did you?”
“Yes”
“Where is it?”
“I ate it,” said the mole
“Oh”
“But I got you another.”
“Did you? Where is that one?”
“The same thing seems to have happened.” 

-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
 

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do.   Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong.  

Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary. 

“What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t belong?”  Or even worse, “What if I say something that injures someone?”  

Being in group is about meeting people where they are at.  Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed.  We aren’t supposed to all be the same. We don’t always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.

I can promise you one thing …we won’t eat your cake!  Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong