Paying attention to what’s working

Paying attention to what’s working

Paying attention to what’s working

It’s often much easier to notice what we’re doing wrong, rather than what we’re doing right. Military and first responder roles rely on critical analysis of potential shortfalls in order to maximize safety. 

Even when our actions are not motivated by the desire for recognition, it’s always satisfying to know when we got it right or that our efforts are making a difference. 

The problem of focusing on our missteps and passing over successes, however small they might be, is that is fosters a bias to overlook the good when we are confronted with challenges.

I like to think of the person who came up with the idea of building the first boat.  They may have thrown many items in the water and examined what made them sink, but chances are they spent more time examining what made things float in order to come up with the winning formula. It can often be easier to focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths. But how much healthier would we be if we mastered the habit of noticing what we do well?

How might your day be different if the focus was on all the little things you are doing that are having a positive impact?  Can you identify three in this moment?Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Triggers or glimmers? It’s all a matter of attention

Triggers or glimmers? It’s all a matter of attention

Triggers or glimmers? It’s all a matter of attention

PTSD is a condition where our central nervous systems are constantly scanning for potential threats. It’s our brains’ way of keeping us safe. The problem is, it’s easy to miss the good stuff. By hyper-focusing on danger, we overlook signs of safety.

We may have a good sense of triggers, those are the people, places or things that create a sense of danger or unease.  In contrast, Trauma Specialist Deb Dana introduced the term glimmer to describe experiences that foster a sense of safety.  Glimmers are small moments that help shift our system towards calm. 

This month in our Maintaining Health group, we worked on recognizing Glimmers. It’s really about intention. Noticing both sides of the equation.

Hurricane Fiona created challenges for many. It also brought out the best as communities bonded together to help one another. A tree may have fallen on my veranda, but the plentiful rain produced the best crop of carrots I have ever had. I’ve never seen such abundance. That’s my glimmer.

If you catch yourself focusing on the threat or problem, take a mindful moment to balance the equation. Notice the simple things that bring you peace: the crisp fall air, colourful leaves, or pumpkin people dancing on the lawns of Kentville.

Don’t forget to enjoy the glimmers.Warm Regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

Resiliency isn’t a bullet proof vest

How do you define resilience? Many might think of a titanium vest that deflects bullets or adversity: a protective shell that protects from harm.

Recently, I have come to understand resiliency as something softer, sweeter.

It’s the ability to work through emotions rather than shutting them down.

To be able to slow down time when the world around us is speeding up.

It’s about making space to really talk and listen to the people who are important to us, asking for what we need and learning to be emotionally present without judgement.

The work of resiliency happens behind close doors, in sharing circles.

Injured Veterans and First Responders often complain that they are too quick to experience sadness. They view it as evidence of injury since they used to be able to “turn their emotions off.”  Me, I view it as a sign of recovery.  Emotional availability is resiliency starting to take shape.

A wise First Responder recently shared a Thomas Edison quote with me that captures the notion of resiliency quite succinctly: Most people miss opportunity and look over it because they don’t recognize it looks like overalls and hard work.

Together, we ‘ll strap on our coveralls and not be afraid to stir up some dust. Ultimately that’s what allows clarity.

But it’s not all about hard work. We also need to have fun. We’re excited to announce the launch of our new program Date Night. It’s a chance to reconnect with the fun, playful side of yourself and enjoy a stress-free evening with a close friend or partner. Join us for an evening of creativity, conversation and connection. The first Date Night starts on Thursday, October 13th from 6-9 pm. Thanks to the support of Employment and Social Development Canada, there is no fee for this program. Light refreshments are provided.

We are also registering participants for our second round of Creating Confidence Clarifying Strengths, scheduled to start November 1, 2022. This feel-good program is receiving rave reviews and has no fee thanks to the generous funding of ACOA.

Call (902) 472-2972 or email info@landingstrong.com to register.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Things I am grateful for

Things I am grateful for

Things I am grateful for

Today is National Day for Truth and Reconciliation: A day dedicated to honouring survivors of the residential schools as well as those children who never returned home. It’s a time to acknowledge the painful impact these dark periods of our history have had, and continue to have on individuals, families and communities. Public commemoration of the tragic history and ongoing impacts of residential schools has been identified as a vital component of the reconciliation process.

I am incredibly grateful that the words Truth and Reconciliation are given the weight they deserve and are becoming so deeply imbedded within our cultural understanding. We may be powerless to change the past, but as a society we are able to take the time to fully understand the historical impacts of our actions, take stock of where we stand today, and plan for an enlightened future.

On a side note, and in no way to detract from the importance of this day, I also wanted to express gratitude for all of the first responders, hydro and emergency workers who worked tirelessly over the past week to restore power, order and safety to our communities following Hurricane Fiona. My son Albert lives in the 40-unit Dartmouth apartment building that was emergency evacuated in the middle of the night during the hurricane. It was an unsettling time, but the impression that he is left with was the kindness, generosity and positive spirit of neighbours, first responders and volunteers alike. He spoke of the efficiency of an emergency response system that organized warm busses for evicted residents to stay in rather than standing in the raging storm; the kindness and compassion of the Red Cross Workers who handed him a blanket and showed him a cot in the Sportsplex at four in the morning; and the good humour of his neighbours who jokingly commented “they had always wanted a pool, too bad it was in the living room when they had hoped to have it in their bedroom”. In true Nova Scotia style, they meet adversity with good humour and a positive spirit.

I am happy to witness the kindness of strangers, generosity of spirit, and willingness of society to undergo a process of self reflection, ensuring all members of our community feel welcomed, respected and cared for.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

No risk no reward

No risk no reward

No risk no reward

Often the things that are the most rewarding involve challenging ourselves. It’s through pushing the limits of what’s comfortable that we discover our strengths: whether it’s through signing up to race in the Valley Harvest Run or allowing ourselves to be seen and heard within group. Taking small risks, while scary at first, ultimately allows us to become more confident healthy versions of ourselves.

What challenges might you look forward to this fall?

Are you willing to lean out of your comfort into an area of new growth

What could you tell yourself when that little voice in your head threatens to get in your way?

We still have spots in the on-line Identity and Transition program if this speaks to you. We’re a community that supports each other as we take small risks aimed to improve the quality of our lives.

Anything worth doing likely has something in it that’s hard.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The courage to show our true selves

The courage to show our true selves

The courage to show our true selves

Recently I watched two really well-done documentaries on Netflix about Olympic Athletes who underwent gender transitions: Olympic Decathlon gold Medalist Caitlyn (formerly Bruce) Jenner, and professional Skateboarder Leo Baker (documentaries titled Untold Caitlyn Jenner; and Stay on Board the Leo Baker Story respectively). Both stories describe the inner struggle faced by people who are very much public figures who feel unable to reveal their true selves without facing devastating consequences. Both Caitlyn and Leo are exceptional people who desperately want to live their true lives, no longer feeling able to keep up the image of what others expect of them. The whole world watches, and many criticize as they speak their respective truths.

Although these are stories about gender transition, they are ultimately tales of struggle, courage, conviction, and staying true to oneself. It is a theme of having to give up a former identity and learning to embrace something new. These themes are universal. What interested me most was the notion that inner struggle was possibly an important part of what motivated these athletes to become world class. Our struggles also become character defining strengths.

I wanted to take a moment to salute all individuals who possess the courage to walk a new path: be it gender transition, or rediscovering or redefining oneself following injury.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong