Should she stay or should she go?
Should she stay or should she go?Ā
She looks so innocent sitting in the corner of my office. My little porcelain sparrow. Many a day Iāve glanced idly at her while deep in thought. A simple dĆ©cor item that brings me joy. In the past week, three people have told me I must get rid of her. How has she offended them I wonder? Sheās just been sitting there so quietly, minding her own business. Iām informed that in a Netflix series entitled āDead to Meā, my little feathered friend served as a murder weapon. Even looking at her triggers some of my clients.
A couple of questions come to mind: do I remove her, and therefore eliminate the offending associations? Or do I keep her, allowing my clients to realize that her presence is benign and that not all sparrows are created equal?
These questions form the basis of PTSD. It is an injury of isolation and avoidance. We often believe that by eliminating or reducing exposure to triggering stimuli, we can keep ourselves safe. In truth, this just keeps us injured. Only by allowing ourselves to experience triggers without the associated negative consequences can we recover.
So the bottom line isā¦sheās staying!
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong