This is a busy time of year when we often start making lists.
These lists often focus on things we need to do for others, seldom do they reflect activities we need to do for ourselves. As you enter the holiday season I invite you to set aside time to reflect on how far youâve come, and what steps you might like to take moving forward.
On our website, you see lists of all the programs for the year ahead. Now is the perfect time to plan your recovery journey. Ideally, we would have you sign up for all the programs you are potentially interested in.
The first of our foundation series, âStop Faking Good Start Feeling Goodâ emotions management program starts in January. We appreciate you signing up in advance so that we know how many cohorts to run.
For those whoâve already completed the foundation series, we have some new and exciting offerings:
⢠Make time for mindfulness. A 9-week MBSR program (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) might be the perfect way to ring in the new year. Two hours per week for eight weeks plus assigned home practices with a half-day finale. ⢠We have an assortment of exciting Community Connection activities and outings lined up for you. ⢠Weâre exploring the possibility of running a CBT insomnia program. If interested let Julie know so we can add your name to the list. ⢠In February, weâll offer a week-long holistic wellness program for women affected by military and work-related sexual misconduct. This is a small-sized program so itâs not too early to get your name on the list.
So, while caring for others, please take the time to care for yourself.
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
A few years ago I purchased a magic lamp for our Christmas table.
I loved it so much that I began bringing it out at the beginning of the month and illuminating the kitchen each night as we gathered for a meal.
It also proves to be handy for power outages, bringing a sense of wonder to what otherwise could be a cold evening.
My colleague Deb Eaton was so moved by it’s magical glow, swirling snow and vibrant red cardinals that she too had to have one. She shares that on cold days it makes her feel warm inside, bringing back memories of yesteryear. Deb bought a second one for her mother, as I did last year for my father.
I should really think about buying shares in the company given that such a simple item can bring such immense joy.
Itâs a true gift to find joy in small packages and unexpected places. Do you have any items that do the same for you?
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
âIâve learned how to be in the presentâ âHow?â Asked the boy âI find a quiet spot and shut my eyes and breatheâ âThatâs good, and then?â âThen I focus.â âWhat do you focus on?â âCakeâ said the mole.  True confessions time.  When Iâm in yoga, trying to clear my mind, I may not think about cake, but I do contemplate having a lovely London Fog at the cafĂŠ next to the studio when class is over.  Itâs usually when I am really uncomfortable, experiencing the full force of my cardboard stiff body that I allow my mind to drift to more pleasant things.  Itâs normal not to think about the things that are uncomfortable.  When we are at work doing uncomfortable tasks, thatâs an essential skill.  Knowing how to unpack it at the end of the day, though, is often a skill that needs to be developed.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
How are you holding up?  These are uncertain times indeed.   When I go to the grocery store, I like to play a game.  Which line is moving the fastest?  I scope out the cashiers, check out how efficient they are, how much theyâre talking with their customers, and how full the carts are of the people in line ahead of me.  Iâm talking about the sophisticated, mathematical equation that predicts grocery-store line waiting time.  Even when the lines are long, I can tolerate it if my formula predicts an acceptable outcome.  In a way, Iâm inserting a degree of control over a situation which might otherwise cause internal stress.   The current situation weâre facing is challenging, because there are many uncertain variables which seem to change on an hourly basis.  I havenât been able to figure out the mathematical formula that tells me when life goes back to normal.  My gut feeling, is that this is going to be a long line.   I tried asking google home to set an alarm for when COVID-19 will be over, a reassuring voice informed me that the alarm was set for 7pm the next evening.  If only it were so easy.   So there are many things Iâm not able to control, but there are others that I know I can.  Iâm doing my best to create a semblance of normalcy in my daily working life.  I have been able to learn to use video conferencing for counselling appointments.  Not bad for an olâ dog.  It may have been stressful, but I think Iâve got it.   As for outside of work, Iâm going to focus on those things I can control.  Doing art, organizing my house, planting an abundant garden.  Iâm even thinking about trying to make crumpets from scratch.  Letâs make the best of this, weâd love to hear what fun things youâve been doing to cope.Â
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Many years ago I attended a work seminar where the facilitator spoke of the importance of developing a Plan B for any major venture you take on. His words struck a chord, for at the time I was working in a federal penitentiary. I wasnât sure how long I would remain there. Every day, I was surrounded by people who repeatedly reported how many years they had until retirement.
âGood morningâ they would greet me cheerfully, âonly six years left âtill retirementâ.
It was the institutional running joke, with people reporting the time they had left on their âsentencesâ prior to being released. Like the inmates they were supervising, they were serving life sentences on the installment plan.
This prompted me to develop a solid Plan B.
From that moment forward, every day that I went to work became a choice. I could continue, or I could change, but I would not allow myself to complain about it because I had the freedom to exercise my will.
Even now, every day I go to work knowing that I have options. My Plan B may not make much money, but itâs always less stressful and generally involves doing something creative. Somehow, that allows me to go to work each day with joy, owning the decision to be there.
It may be your Plan B involves taking time off work so that you can take proper care of yourself. That in itself is a plan.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
As I view the dark days of winter in my rear view mirrors and think about the months ahead, I find myself contemplating bathing suit season. Thatâs right, the dreaded time of year when weâre held accountable for our mid-winter indulgences. I admit it, I put on a few pounds. My stomach isnât flat the way I want it to be. Could it be encroachment of the dreaded Muffin Top?
I found myself defaulting to considering quick weight loss strategies, accompanied by uncharitable thoughts about myself and unkind words about my body. âThere is absolutely no reason,â I think, frustrated with myself, âwhy I shouldnât look exactly like I did in my twenties. I just need more discipline!â I seem to be overlooking the fact that Iâve had a few kids and itâs thirty years later.
Okay, Iâm a psychologist, I should know better. Enduring change is built on love and compassion, not hatred. History holds countless examples.
But Iâm still human. It was Mackenzie, my daughter, and our Landing Strong Director of Community Engagement and Wellbeing who reminded me of this. I made a comment about being displeased with my muffin top, to which she replied:
âRemember, the top of the muffin is the best partâ.
The wisdom of these words struck deep, for I know in my heart that I am in the best years of my life. Instead of internally criticizing, Iâll focus on practicing loving compassion. A person who loves her body cares for it, exercising it regularly and nourishing it with whole foods and a rainbow of colour. A person who struggles with their body doesnât connect with it or use it much, viewing food as the enemy. This makes enduring change very difficult.
I think our relationship with our bodies very much reflects our relationship with ourselves and with life in general. With courage, love, and compassion, weâre able to leave the dark days of winter behind.
Stuck in the dark corner of judgement and shame, we remain immobile. Change escapes us. Iâll think of you all as I wander the nature trails with my dogs, enjoying the buds of spring and bursts of colour. I wonât focus on what I donât want, but on what I desire, and allow that path to gently guide me forward.
Partners in recovery,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
