There they are. Crocuses, snowdrops and daffodils, pushing their way to sunlight, oblivious of everything that has transpired during this past year.
With reassuring predictability and beauty, they remind us that hope is just around the corner.
Stay the course.
Take a moment to breathe in the fresh fragrance.
Notice the rich colours.
Like prickly bears after a long hibernation we’re eager to be roaming freely. Reconnecting with long lost family and friends. I vow to remain patient, tolerant and kind, grateful for the vaccinations that will once again return a semblance of normalcy to our lives.
Giving thanks to all those who have worked so tirelessly to keep us fed, healthy and safe.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Recently I’ve been enjoying the television series The Crown, and find my thoughts returning to a scene where Queen Mary explains to her granddaughter the young Queen Elizabeth, the importance of remaining impartial:
“To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human. People will always want you to smile or agree or frown and the minute you do, you will have declared a position, a point of view…and that is the one thing as Sovereign that you are not entitled to do.” “Well that’s fine for the Sovereign… but where does that leave me?” Queen Elizabeth responds sadly.
It strikes me this conversation is not limited to royalty. Many of us are in service related professions where we routinely perform duties that may not be in line with personal beliefs or preferences. Putting on a “game face” is part of the job, and a display of emotion can compromise our ability to do so effectively.
Soldiers are asked to go onto the battlefield, defending a cause they may not believe in. They do not have the privilege of evaluating whether they want to advance when ordered to do so.
Police are asked to place themselves in the midst of violent situations, working to protect those who, a moment earlier, may have been threatening them.
Paramedics repeatedly respond to calls at the same house for drug overdoses.
To be of service means, by definition, to put our needs aside and tend to those of others. There comes a time, though, when we need to put ourselves first. Recognizing what we are experiencing, and finding a safe place to work through the emotional residue.
Only then do we truly care for ourselves. Separate and distinct from the work we do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
“I got you a delicious cake,” said the mole “Did you?” “Yes” “Where is it?” “I ate it,” said the mole “Oh” “But I got you another.” “Did you? Where is that one?” “The same thing seems to have happened.”
-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do. Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong.
Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary.
“What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t belong?” Or even worse, “What if I say something that injures someone?”
Being in group is about meeting people where they are at. Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed. We aren’t supposed to all be the same. We don’t always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.
I can promise you one thing …we won’t eat your cake! Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy. “Help” said the horse. “When have you been at your strongest?” Asked the boy “When I have dared to show my weakness”
The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
I used to belief courage was about doing things that involved incredible risk: Running into burning buildings; putting oneself into the line of fire; more recently caring for those with contagious diseases.
These are indeed acts of courage.
What I have learned to appreciate though, is a quieter more invisible form of courage. It’s the force that motivates us to speak when it’s easier to remain silent. To stand up and be seen when we can blend in or remain invisible. To ask for help when in many ways it’s less effort to simply carry on.
Asking for help may be one of the hardest and most courageous things we can do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
These are complicated times, and we’re all facing increased levels of uncertainty. Background stress is much higher than usual and it may be harder to unwind at the end of the day. Here are three quick tips to help keep you right side up:
Do less
Instead of opting for a complete home renovation, try doing a jigsaw puzzle while listening to your favorite music. Take joy in simple things: like the satisfaction of a perfectly chopped pile of wood, or teaching your dog a new trick. “Less is more” is the new mantra as we work to keep ourselves in balance.
Just say “no” to social overload
Factor this increased stress load into your decision making when deciding how much to take on. This is a time for increased boundary setting. Do you really want a three hour zoom family reunion following a week overloaded with on line meetings? Consider dropping in for just a brief time or opting instead for simple in-person social gatherings like coffee with a friend. Get comfortable thanking people for invitations, but letting them know you are focussing on self-care and re-charging during down time.
Limit screen time.
If your sleep is disrupted, it’s a sign that you’re brain isn’t getting the relax time it needs. Zoom gatherings and online meetings are more mentally fatiguing than seeing people in person. Try picking a completely junky novel to browse through before sleeping. Enjoy a long soak in the tub or flip through your latest car magazine. Consider having technology free weekends, and please, take off your watch that sends emails to you 24/7. Your central nervous system will thank you.
If you are thinking of making changes on a larger scale, consider joining our Healthy Living program starting in November. You’ll have a chance to reflect on what is most important to you, ensuring the life you’re living is the one you want.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Have I told you recently how proud I am to live in Nova Scotia? It’s sentiment I know many of us share: everywhere we look, there are flags and signs celebrating the strength and loyalty of Nova Scotians.
I’d like to add another word to our vocabulary when describing Nova Scotians: Thoughtful.
Last night I was in IKEA. I wanted to pick up a large shelf unit and had parked my cart on the warehouse floor, wondering how the heck I was going to get the heavy unit onto my cart. It really was a two person job. A young couple walked towards me, interested in the same unit.
“Wait a minute,” the young man calls to me, “You’ve got the wrong kind of cart, I’m going to grab you a flat one.”
Before I knew it he had dashed to the end of the aisle and grabbed me something more suitable. Together we easily got it loaded. The next step was loading this monstrosity into my car. I parked my shopping cart by the trunk, and was walking around to unlock the door when an older couple walked by.
“Don’t try lifting that on your own,” the man called out. “Let me give you a hand. No sense you strainin’ yer’ back.”
I hadn’t even had a moment to ask anyone for help and here this fellow was, making sure things went smoothly. This is the kindness of small towns and close communities. I drove away with a warm heart and appreciation for the thoughtfulness strangers. There may be a lot of challenging things going on in the world these days, but I, for one, am happy to be living in the Atlantic Bubble, and super proud to be in Nova Scotia.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
