Should she stay or should she go?
She looks so innocent sitting in the corner of my office. My little porcelain sparrow. Many a day I’ve glanced idly at her while deep in thought. A simple décor item that brings me joy. In the past week, three people have told me I must get rid of her. How has she offended them I wonder? She’s just been sitting there so quietly, minding her own business. I’m informed that in a Netflix series entitled ‘Dead to Me’, my little feathered friend served as a murder weapon. Even looking at her triggers some of my clients.
A couple of questions come to mind: do I remove her, and therefore eliminate the offending associations? Or do I keep her, allowing my clients to realize that her presence is benign and that not all sparrows are created equal?
These questions form the basis of PTSD. It is an injury of isolation and avoidance. We often believe that by eliminating or reducing exposure to triggering stimuli, we can keep ourselves safe. In truth, this just keeps us injured. Only by allowing ourselves to experience triggers without the associated negative consequences can we recover.
So the bottom line is…she’s staying!
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
