Most new start-ups fail within the first three years. Trying something new is hard, and keeping it going can be even harder. Whether it’s an exercise program, a change of eating habits, or setting the goal of launching a world class treatment centre, holding true to a vision of where you want to be is never easy.
Starting up Landing Strong is something I’ve dreamt of for years, but couldn’t quite find the courage to do. The risks were great, but the community’s needs were even greater. Surrounded by a team of incredibly committed professionals, we launched Landing Strong. We didn’t know when we opened the doors whether anyone would come. Thanks to you, our programs and hearts are full, particularly this week after receiving word that we are being awarded funding from the Veteran Family and Well-Being Fund. Veterans Affairs Canada is solidly in our corner, helping to make this dream a reality. A special thanks to the Mental Health Foundation of Nova Scotia for helping us secure this funding.
We’ll continue to submit funding proposals so that we may offer barrier free access to care.
For this moment, we’re pausing to celebrate the assurance that we’ll not just survive, but thrive in the critical first few years of operation.
With gratitude,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
One of the challenges of PTSD and depression is that tasks can feel overwhelming. A simple chore, such as mowing the lawn, can feel much larger than it actually is. Perhaps when you’re mowing, you notice that the flowerbeds need weeding, or the lawn furniture is in need of repair. And while you’re at it, you notice the back side of the house needs painting. And you may kick yourself silently for not doing it last year, when you first noticed it was peeling. Suddenly, mowing the lawn becomes a list of everything you haven’t done right in your life over the last six months.
A wise first responder shared an insight recently,
“It’s okay to mow just one line, if that’s all you’re up to. Doing a little bit is better than nothing.”
He spoke of the importance of simply starting, without being paralyzed by the need to finish everything completely.
We’ve taken this to heart, and have been applying this principle across different aspects of our lives. Perhaps, I only have the energy to clean half my kitchen. That’s okay.
Today, I decided to text a friend because I didn’t feel up to a phone call.
Small steps toward a larger goal get us there a lot faster than trying to do too much, too quickly.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
It doesn’t matter what others think. If it’s real for you then it’s important.
People often apologize for being injured.
“I shouldn’t be this way, I was never deployed.”
“I shouldn’t be struggling, I only went to Afghanistan once and my buddy over there is fine and he was there twice”
“I shouldn’t be taking up a seat in this group, there must be others who need it more than me.”
In fact, I’m not sure I have ever run a group where a large proportion of the members don’t somehow feel that they didn’t earn the right to be there.
I remember a day in my private practice when I saw an army intelligence officer who was struggling. During a tour overseas he was required to witness countless satellite images that haunted him. After returning home, he walked with shoulders slumped, burdened by his experiences. Working together, we tried to lighten his load.
Sitting patiently in the waiting room, waiting for her appointment, sat an anxious petite 10-year-old blonde girl. Her forehead was creased with worry wrinkles, her nails bitten to the quick. Her hand wringing as she anticipated speaking of the things which were most upsetting to her.
Did both have an equal right to treatment? I believe so. Certainly their experiences are very different. In my mind, it isn’t about measuring the degree of pain one has experienced. Rather, it’s about noticing the impact those experiences have on our ability to navigate our way through life. Whether we have been hit by missiles or paralyzed with anxiety, the pain is real.
It’s not our place to judge whether or not you should feel a certain way. If it’s real for you, that’s all that matters.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Anger is intoxicating. There’s no doubt about it. It’s powerful, and has the illusion of strength. People will often respond to us more quickly if we’re angry.
Anger can be a force to be reckoned with. The military recognizes this, teaching people to harness their anger as vehicles for mobilization during difficult moments.
“Don’t get sad, get mad”
The problem is, power gleaned through anger is power taken, not power earned.
Is it possible, I wonder, to have power without exerting our will over others?
Maybe what we are really talking about is leadership.
Certainly, there are many different styles of leadership. We are all familiar with dictatorships, where those in power exert their control over others. Failure to conform is associated with profound negative consequences. We are fearful of their anger. Think Stalin.
Charismatic leaders, on the other hand, rely on the leader’s charm and attraction to inspire devotion among followers. After meeting with Charismatic leaders, we are inspired to be of service. We leave feeling they are special. Televangelist Billy Graham is a famous example of this style of leadership.
Transformation leaders, on the other hand, inspire greatness. They instill valuable and positive change with a vision of developing followers into leaders. After meeting with these leaders, we feel special: confident and inspired to be more. Nelson Mandela is an example of such a leader.
I think we have all had times when we realized our anger had power. It’s a hard habit to break, particularly if we don’t feel safe.
Is this a time when transformational leadership might be an option for you? Maybe you are already practicing it. What does it look like in your life?
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Many years ago I attended a work seminar where the facilitator spoke of the importance of developing a Plan B for any major venture you take on. His words struck a chord, for at the time I was working in a federal penitentiary. I wasn’t sure how long I would remain there. Every day, I was surrounded by people who repeatedly reported how many years they had until retirement.
“Good morning” they would greet me cheerfully, “only six years left ‘till retirement”.
It was the institutional running joke, with people reporting the time they had left on their “sentences” prior to being released. Like the inmates they were supervising, they were serving life sentences on the installment plan.
This prompted me to develop a solid Plan B.
From that moment forward, every day that I went to work became a choice. I could continue, or I could change, but I would not allow myself to complain about it because I had the freedom to exercise my will.
Even now, every day I go to work knowing that I have options. My Plan B may not make much money, but it’s always less stressful and generally involves doing something creative. Somehow, that allows me to go to work each day with joy, owning the decision to be there.
It may be your Plan B involves taking time off work so that you can take proper care of yourself. That in itself is a plan.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
