No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â – Deepak Chopra
Injury is often associated with powerlessness or a loss of control.  When I first started working in the federal penitentiary, I believed I was capable of evoking powerful, positive change.  Both for the inmates I was working with, as well as with the system itself. Â
âYou donât belong hereâ the inmates repeatedly warned me.  Turns out they were right, but it took me seven years to understand that. Â
Iâve never thought of myself as a quitter. I had to learn the hard way about the difference between quitting, and choosing not to continue.  Quitting is giving up.  Choosing not to continue is making an informed decision based on your experiences regarding what is healthy and sustainable, and what isnât. Itâs easy to judge ourselves based on what we were not able to do.
We can focus on the things we couldnât do, or we can choose to focus on those things that are in our power. I choose to do my best to help someone today I chose to invest in my health I chose to move forward. I chose love.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Recently Iâve been enjoying the television series The Crown, and find my thoughts returning to a scene where Queen Mary explains to her granddaughter the young Queen Elizabeth, the importance of remaining impartial:
“To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human. People will always want you to smile or agree or frown and the minute you do, you will have declared a position, a point of viewâŠand that is the one thing as Sovereign that you are not entitled to do.”  “Well thatâs fine for the Sovereign⊠but where does that leave me?” Queen Elizabeth responds sadly.  It strikes me this conversation is not limited to royalty. Many of us are in service related professions where we routinely perform duties that may not be in line with personal beliefs or preferences.  Putting on a âgame faceâ is part of the job, and a display of emotion can compromise our ability to do so effectively. Â
Soldiers are asked to go onto the battlefield, defending a cause they may not believe in. They do not have the privilege of evaluating whether they want to advance when ordered to do so.
Police are asked to place themselves in the midst of violent situations, working to protect those who, a moment earlier, may have been threatening them.
Paramedics repeatedly respond to calls at the same house for drug overdoses.
To be of service means, by definition, to put our needs aside and tend to those of others.  There comes a time, though, when we need to put ourselves first.  Recognizing what we are experiencing, and finding a safe place to work through the emotional residue.
Only then do we truly care for ourselves.  Separate and distinct from the work we do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Anyone who knows me also knows I love sappy movies with predictable happy endings. I love the feeling of knowing that, in 90 minutes, no matter what challenges are faced, everything will be okay in the end.  I think in many ways itâs my philosophy of life.  If we keep on journeying, eventually weâll get home. Â
Home isnât always a place is it?  Itâs often a feeling.  Sometimes itâs just being:  Listening to music with friends, having a heart to heart over coffee with a friend, or walking in nature with your dog.
Home is a feeling that starts with being comfortable with ourselves.  Whatever challenges you may have faced on your journey, we can overcome them together.  Join us for a group program, and make your home a supportive community of peers who may have walked similar paths. Â
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itâs hard not to ask the question, especially at this time of year. The following answers were offered by young children in response to a survey by the Couples Institute regarding the question âWhat is love?â
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your fries without making them give you any of theirs – Chrissy age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired – Terri, age 4
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day – Noelle 7
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken – Elaine age 5
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day – Mary Ann age 4
You really shouldnât say âI love youâ unless you mean it, But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget – Jessica age 8
 Perhaps the best example of love wasnât something that was said, but done. Leo Buscaglia shared this special moment he witnessed:
A four year old child had an elderly gentleman as a next door neighbour who had recently lost his wife.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentlemanâs yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said âNothing, I just helped him cryâ.
For me, love is an action.  Itâs about moving toward rather than moving away.  Itâs about staying present, even when itâs uncomfortable.  Itâs about patiently waiting through silence, until emotions can form.
Love is what keeps us whole, allows us to heal, giving the walk forward meaning.
Warm thoughts and lots of love on this Valentineâs Day,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
âI got you a delicious cake,â said the mole âDid you?â âYesâ âWhere is it?â âI ate it,â said the mole âOhâ âBut I got you another.â âDid you? Where is that one?â âThe same thing seems to have happened.âÂ
-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy Â
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do.   Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong. Â
Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary.Â
âWhat if I say the wrong thing? What if I donât belong?â  Or even worse, âWhat if I say something that injures someone?â Â
Being in group is about meeting people where they are at.  Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed.  We arenât supposed to all be the same. We donât always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.
I can promise you one thing …we wonât eat your cake!  Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
