Should she stay or should she go?

Should she stay or should she go?

by | Jun 28, 2024 | Belinda's Thoughts, Change, Courage, Growth, Recovery

Should she stay or should she go? 

She looks so innocent sitting in the corner of my office. My little porcelain sparrow. Many a day I’ve glanced idly at her while deep in thought. A simple décor item that brings me joy. In the past week, three people have told me I must get rid of her. How has she offended them I wonder? She’s just been sitting there so quietly, minding her own business. I’m informed that in a Netflix series entitled ‘Dead to Me’, my little feathered friend served as a murder weapon. Even looking at her triggers some of my clients.

A couple of questions come to mind: do I remove her, and therefore eliminate the offending associations? Or do I keep her, allowing my clients to realize that her presence is benign and that not all sparrows are created equal?

These questions form the basis of PTSD. It is an injury of isolation and avoidance. We often believe that by eliminating or reducing exposure to triggering stimuli, we can keep ourselves safe. In truth, this just keeps us injured. Only by allowing ourselves to experience triggers without the associated negative consequences can we recover.

So the bottom line is…she’s staying!

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

It’s a good thing she’s cute

It’s a good thing she’s cute

by | Jun 21, 2024 | Belinda's Thoughts, Caregivers, Challenge, Forgiveness

It’s a good thing she’s cute

Seven weeks ago we got a new puppy; a Pomsky – part Pomeranian, part Husky. Kira is a fluffy ball of happiness, mischievousness and energy. Her favorite pastimes are stealing and hiding our socks and pulling astonishing escape-artist maneuvers. Our fitness levels are rapidly improving as we do laps chasing her around the yard.

Although Kira is much smaller than her Husky ancestors, her body remembers the joy of running as though she’s pulling a dog sled. In true Husky fashion, she likes to hold lengthy conversations with us regarding her needs and opinions and does so compellingly. Needless to say, she’s the only dog allowed to sleep in our bed. Kira’s identity runs deep. Even three generations of breeding doesn’t change who she is.

If you are injured, you may think that a part of you is lost or gone forever. In truth, who you are at your core, never really changes. You may not have the same physique you had in your 20’s, but your desire to be of service is likely still strong. The dedication, determination, and values that brought you to your work continue to serve as guiding principles in your life.

Time does change us. This can be a good thing. If we better learned to recognize our strengths, it might be easier to embrace changes in our lives rather than resisting them.

Like our furry little ball of fluff, good things can come in unexpected packaging.

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Communities Of Kindness

Communities Of Kindness

by | Jun 14, 2024 | Belinda's Thoughts, Change, Community, Friday Inspiration

Communities of kindness

It’s easy to believe the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I’d like to provide evidence to the contrary.

I went to a rugby tournament with King’s-Edgehill School recently and was speaking to Robert, our bus driver. A former 911 Dispatch Operator, Robert is now joyfully transporting kids on a 60-passenger school bus.

“I LOVE my job!” Robert exclaimed excitedly.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“The kids are amazing, thoughtful, well-behaved, and appreciative. Every day, when they get off the bus, every student, without exception, thanks me.”

I hear similar feedback from teachers:
“Every day after class, the kids say thank you as they are leaving the room.” a Junior school teacher shares.

Even coaches have good things to say about their players’ behavior: “After each game, the players come up and shake my hand and thank me,” a rugby coach exclaimed. “They even helped me to pick up garbage that some of the fans had left behind.”

These students are the leaders of tomorrow; kind, thoughtful, and appreciative.

This fills me with promise and hope…something pretty wonderful to ponder.

 

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Continuing To Make A Difference In Big Ways

Continuing To Make A Difference In Big Ways

by | Jun 7, 2024 | Belinda's Thoughts, Friday Inspiration, Leadership, Resilience, Wisdom

Continuing to make a difference in big ways

This week I have a wonderful story to share. I recently was at the airport when I ran into a group of very fit, happy looking men, among whom was our friend and Landing Strong community member Constable Kristopher Hansen. A few weeks later, I received an email from Kris:

Seeing you at the airport a couple weeks ago, I was going on a trip with my entire [HRP] shift for a weekend. I am pretty happy to be working with a team of officers that are also friends. It’s been a very refreshing year for me, and a testament to how when things are at their worst, they do get better if you are willing to trust others…

Yesterday I was awarded another Gold MADD Canada Cst. Heidi Stevenson’s Watch Award (that makes 2 in a row) for my efforts in impaired driving in 2023. Being able to continue using the skills I learned for her to keep her name alive, has helped me feel like she is continuing to make a difference through me (and the other officers who received this award), which is one of my proudest achievements outside of my family.

I couldn’t think of someone I wanted to share this news with more than you and everyone at Landing Strong.

Joining Kris in the photo are his partner Stephanie and two of his three children. Proud moments indeed on all sides. Looking at this photo makes me grin from ear to ear! This fella has the world by the tail.

Thanks so much, Kris for sharing your news and allowing us to celebrate with you.

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

We could be friends

We could be friends

by | May 31, 2024 | Belinda's Thoughts, Challenge, Community, Compassion, Friday Inspiration, Support

We could be friends

A few weeks ago, my husband Joe was walking our dogs when they happened upon a skunk. Anyone who has seen my dogs knows that they look like they could be related to the skunk family.

The dogs stood and stared…and the skunk stared back. Tentatively, the skunk made steps towards them, as if inviting them to play.

“Zuri, Nara, come,” Joe commanded anxiously from the rear. Luckily the dogs obeyed. Dejected, the skunk turned around and wandered off, his head held low. Sucks to be a skunk.

Making new friends is not always easy. We all fear rejection. What if we say the wrong thing? What if we aren’t accepted? What if they say things that offend us?

Come meet new people in a supportive environment. We promise not to walk away…even if you arrive wearing black and white.

 

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Before I lay me down to rest…

Before I lay me down to rest…

by | May 24, 2024 | Balance, Belinda's Thoughts, Creativity, Friday Inspiration, joy

Before I lay me down to rest

As life zooms by, it’s easy to get caught up in the high-speed lane. The list of commitments grows longer, and sleep…well, that sometimes eludes me.

In an effort to still my busy brain, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness each evening, before settling down for the night’s rest.

My mindfulness practice is simple: it consists of drawing; even if it’s only for five minutes. I’m pretty good at botanical drawings but have never mastered the art of sketching people. I found a good YouTube tutorial and am trying to etch out a quick line drawing of a face each evening.

I’d like to say it’s going well…but it isn’t. My efforts are pretty rough-looking. That’s okay, I remind myself. These things take time.

While I draw, I utter the simple word “grace” to myself. It’s a reminder to allow myself time to settle in, and over time, to grow. I believe that my sketched forms will start taking on a more human shape if I keep practicing.

Will you join the practice of extending grace to yourself?

 

Warm thoughts,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong