Have I told you about my 87 year old father? He’s a master of reinvention. He used to be a high school art teacher, but had an opportunity to retire early at 55. We’ve all seen the Freedom 55 commercials right? It’s supposed to be great.
In his case, though, the transition wasn’t easy. I don’t think he quite knew what to do with himself. Accustomed to a highly structured day with many responsibilities, he suddenly found an endless stretch of time during which nothing was happening. I remember a lot of TV watching and listlessness that we weren’t accustomed to seeing. Over time, though, he found his way. He started to watch the “talking heads” as he calls them, financial advisors and news reporters on TV.
He read about the stock markets and investing. Before you knew it, he was playing both tennis and the stock markets daily, getting super fit and doubling the income he had ever earned as a teacher, all while working only an hour per day.
Now he still plays with the money markets, but as an artist, he also tackles new creative themes each year. During COVID, he was obsessed with painting waves. A challenging thing to capture, perhaps it was his way to escape the confinement of isolation. Each week, my siblings in Toronto would send me photos of his work. He’s been painting faster and more than ever before, excitedly sharing his creations.
As I lead the Identity and Transition Program, I’m reminded that we all have periods of change and transition. Times when we need to pause from life, and allow ourselves the time to figure things out. Making sure our next steps are thoughtful, not rushed.
For many people who’ve committed their lives to the “job,” knowing what to do in their leisure time is not easy. That’s why we developed our Healthy Living Program, starting this November. It’s virtual, so even if you don’t live close by, you can still join us. Call early to enroll so we know to save a spot for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Have I told you recently how proud I am to live in Nova Scotia? It’s sentiment I know many of us share: everywhere we look, there are flags and signs celebrating the strength and loyalty of Nova Scotians.
I’d like to add another word to our vocabulary when describing Nova Scotians: Thoughtful.
Last night I was in IKEA. I wanted to pick up a large shelf unit and had parked my cart on the warehouse floor, wondering how the heck I was going to get the heavy unit onto my cart. It really was a two person job. A young couple walked towards me, interested in the same unit.
“Wait a minute,” the young man calls to me, “You’ve got the wrong kind of cart, I’m going to grab you a flat one.”
Before I knew it he had dashed to the end of the aisle and grabbed me something more suitable. Together we easily got it loaded. The next step was loading this monstrosity into my car. I parked my shopping cart by the trunk, and was walking around to unlock the door when an older couple walked by.
“Don’t try lifting that on your own,” the man called out. “Let me give you a hand. No sense you strainin’ yer’ back.”
I hadn’t even had a moment to ask anyone for help and here this fellow was, making sure things went smoothly. This is the kindness of small towns and close communities. I drove away with a warm heart and appreciation for the thoughtfulness strangers. There may be a lot of challenging things going on in the world these days, but I, for one, am happy to be living in the Atlantic Bubble, and super proud to be in Nova Scotia.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The chocolate chip cookie. What a perfect creation. Whether it was first made by accident, or a flash of brilliance and loose hand with chocolate, this mouth-watering creation has remained a classic for many years.
This year, Mackenzie made it a goal to perfect her chocolate chip cookie recipe. We’ve been fortunate enough to sample her different attempts, each week learning more about the chemistry and subtleties of baking. I never would have believed that the sprinkling of flaked salt on top of a baked cookie could have such a transformative effect. Or understand the caramelizing effect of butter versus margarine. Small changes can indeed, have profound effects on the overall creation.
It’s amazing how often in life we use the same ingredients in a recipe, somehow expecting the outcome to be different. In many ways, health is similar to a perfect cookie recipe. It takes a multitude of ingredients, with the quality of each element having a significant impact on the outcome. Recovery from injury isn’t just about individual therapy. It also involves group work, exercise, balanced nutrition, healthy lifestyle and meaningful, supportive connection with the people who are important to us. If we’re missing an ingredient, the result won’t be as good.
If your recovery is going slower that you might like, don’t assume you’re doing it wrong. Maybe you’re exactly on track, but just need to adjust an ingredient or two.
We still have a few spots left in our Mind/Body Health and Recovery group for Caregivers. This is intended for partners/adult children of those who are injured. We want to take care of you too.
For those Veterans and First Responders who have taken a course before, feel free to join our monthly Maintaining HealthProgram, starting this September.
We all need to have a sense of belonging. Even porcupines need to connect. Did you know that a group of porcupines is called a prickle? Even if we don’t look approachable, it doesn’t mean we aren’t looking to connect.
I have a friend Kari MacLeod who walks both her cats and dogs through the forest near her house. Recently, she has had an unlikely new addition to the walking crew: a porcupine has been welcomed into the ranks.
This porcupine found its prickle with Kari and her pets.
Sometimes we find belonging in unexpected places. Even if we are coming out of our comfort zone to create it. Like porcupines, people who suffer from injury are not always seen as approachable. There might be fears of getting close.
It’s only after getting to know porcupines better that we realize their quills are only used as a protective measure. They might look threatening, but underneath it all, they’re just as loveable as any other creature. Their quills aren’t designed to keep people away, but to protect them from harm.
Many first time group participants have concerns about fitting in, but our shared experiences and common ground connect us in a way that is stronger than any differences that may exist. Whether you find your prickle with us or somewhere else, we hope you find strength and support within a community.
It’s been a few weeks now since we’ve been allowed out and I still can’t get my haircut. Things are returning to normal, but not for me. My roots are exposed, clear as day for everyone to see. I feel vulnerable, and less than my best self.
Everyone around me is looking good while somehow I got left behind. I even know someone who has had his hair cut twice already. How did I end up I the slow lane, I wonder?
In groups, it’s inevitable that some members will recover quickly, while others, who do the exact same programs, may take longer. It’s easy to fall into the comparison game, measuring ourselves by the progress of those around us.
I do have a hair appointment, but it isn’t for three more weeks. I tell myself it’ll be worth the wait. I imagine myself emerging from the salon thrilled and confident with the transformation that will inevitably occur. I hope you can do the same. Do recovery on your time. You do you, and don’t worry about the rest. As long as you keep plugging away, it’ll come…in good time.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Today is the day things start to return to normal. The dawn of a new beginning. Stores will open. We can go out for dinner again. Heck if I’m lucky I may even score a haircut in the near future.
When we are faced with threat, it’s normal to be hesitant to step back out there.
It’s like falling off a horse… it can be hard to get back on. The problem is, if we don’t, it will be hard to get back into a normal routine. A natural recovery curve happens after any traumatic exposure. It’s natural to want to hide in order to keep ourselves safe, but we will never really know that the danger has passed until we leave our rabbit holes. It’s only by putting ourselves out there, that we are able to know that we can experience new things without negative consequences.
If we avoid going out, we never learn that it’s safe. That’s when we get stuck.
So I encourage you to go out. Do it safely, of course, practicing social distancing and proper health precautions. But take the steps necessary to restore a semblance of normalcy to your life.
Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise. Laugh with a neighbour. Share a meal with a friend.
