by Landing Strong | Oct 22, 2020 | Uncategorized
“We are all in this together”
It’s a comment we have heard often, but I’ve come to the point of wincing now when I hear it. Every person’s experience is not identical. Although we might currently be in the same place, our experience of it varies greatly. The things we have on our plate differ, and the stressors we face unique. A colleague captured this when she said to me recently:
“We may be in the same storm… but we’re not in the same boat.”
No truer words were spoken.
Think back over the last seven months. There was no way we could have anticipated how many levels of stress we were to face or how long the current stressors would have lasted. I invite you to consider the following questions:
What are some of the things you are most proud of regarding how you have managed?
It’s important to take a moment to acknowledge the things you have managed well.
Now that you have some learning behind you, what are some things you’d like to tweak in order to ensure you stay healthy over the next six months?
Facing tough times can give us a whole new understanding of the things that are important to us.
What are some of the things you have really come to appreciate?
Looking ahead to six months from now, what are some of the things you would like to be able to say about yourself?
Now is a great time to do some tweaking. Our Healthy Living program, starting in November, focusses attention on identifying values that are important to us. Together we will review whether the life we are living reflects the life we want. We’ll learn simple strategies for making healthy changes.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Oct 2, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Friday Inspiration, Recovery, Self-Awareness, Wisdom
“Don’t look back, stay in the present,” people may tell you, urging you not to dwell on the difficult times.
Yet…like trickles of rain finding their way through creases in a rock, our minds revisit old scenes and emotions, replaying them in an endless loop that interrupts sleep.
It may feel like you’re haunted, having these old stories replay over and over in your head. In reality, it’s our brain’s way of pointing is to the things we need to examine in order to recover.
“You never know where you’re going unless you know where you’ve been.” A wise man said to me recently. Besides the fact that’s it’s a great lead line for a country Western song, it’s also true. Our brains know that, in order to heal, they need to repeatedly return to the site of injury, working to make sense of what happened. The problem is, when we do it alone, we tend to view our past the same way, over and over. Knowing where you’ve been helps navigate the way forward. Doing so in good company provides a fresh lens through which to view it.
Join the Landing Strong on-line experience. Call now to register for programs starting in November and January. We’ll help you find your way.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Sep 25, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Creativity, Friday Inspiration
Have I told you about my 87 year old father? He’s a master of reinvention. He used to be a high school art teacher, but had an opportunity to retire early at 55. We’ve all seen the Freedom 55 commercials right? It’s supposed to be great.
In his case, though, the transition wasn’t easy. I don’t think he quite knew what to do with himself. Accustomed to a highly structured day with many responsibilities, he suddenly found an endless stretch of time during which nothing was happening. I remember a lot of TV watching and listlessness that we weren’t accustomed to seeing. Over time, though, he found his way. He started to watch the “talking heads” as he calls them, financial advisors and news reporters on TV.
He read about the stock markets and investing. Before you knew it, he was playing both tennis and the stock markets daily, getting super fit and doubling the income he had ever earned as a teacher, all while working only an hour per day.
Now he still plays with the money markets, but as an artist, he also tackles new creative themes each year. During COVID, he was obsessed with painting waves. A challenging thing to capture, perhaps it was his way to escape the confinement of isolation. Each week, my siblings in Toronto would send me photos of his work. He’s been painting faster and more than ever before, excitedly sharing his creations.
As I lead the Identity and Transition Program, I’m reminded that we all have periods of change and transition. Times when we need to pause from life, and allow ourselves the time to figure things out. Making sure our next steps are thoughtful, not rushed.
For many people who’ve committed their lives to the “job,” knowing what to do in their leisure time is not easy. That’s why we developed our Healthy Living Program, starting this November. It’s virtual, so even if you don’t live close by, you can still join us. Call early to enroll so we know to save a spot for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Sep 23, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Friday Inspiration, Support
Have I told you recently how proud I am to live in Nova Scotia? It’s sentiment I know many of us share: everywhere we look, there are flags and signs celebrating the strength and loyalty of Nova Scotians.
I’d like to add another word to our vocabulary when describing Nova Scotians: Thoughtful.
Last night I was in IKEA. I wanted to pick up a large shelf unit and had parked my cart on the warehouse floor, wondering how the heck I was going to get the heavy unit onto my cart. It really was a two person job. A young couple walked towards me, interested in the same unit.
“Wait a minute,” the young man calls to me, “You’ve got the wrong kind of cart, I’m going to grab you a flat one.”
Before I knew it he had dashed to the end of the aisle and grabbed me something more suitable. Together we easily got it loaded. The next step was loading this monstrosity into my car. I parked my shopping cart by the trunk, and was walking around to unlock the door when an older couple walked by.
“Don’t try lifting that on your own,” the man called out. “Let me give you a hand. No sense you strainin’ yer’ back.”
I hadn’t even had a moment to ask anyone for help and here this fellow was, making sure things went smoothly. This is the kindness of small towns and close communities. I drove away with a warm heart and appreciation for the thoughtfulness strangers. There may be a lot of challenging things going on in the world these days, but I, for one, am happy to be living in the Atlantic Bubble, and super proud to be in Nova Scotia.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Sep 23, 2020 | Uncategorized
Have you seen this show on Amazon Prime? I love it. Teams of four participating in one of the hardest races imaginable, spread out over nine days in untamed jungle, rivers and oceans of Fiji.
Several teams representing various countries come to compete, the motivation to endure such extreme hardship coming from deep within. I am consistently impressed by the grit it requires to take on such a challenge. What amazed me most was who successfully completed the race, and who didn’t.
Spoiler alert: Those who did the best weren’t necessarily the strongest or fittest.
What is the ingredient for success you might ask?
Yes, fitness was important. So was motivation. Most importantly, though was the team’s ability to work together, voicing their needs to one another, communicating clearly if they were faltering, and not hesitating to ask for help when necessary.
The teams that were unable to finish the race didn’t seem any less committed, or athletic as the teams that completed the challenge. Some teams faltered because these folks were amazing at pushing through when they were injured, ignoring the messages their bodies were giving them to slow down and care for themselves. Ultimately, it was their undoing. Teams that knew how to stop, pause when necessary, and share their concerns were more likely to succeed in the long run.
I can’t help but reflect on how PTSD is an injury of isolation. It can be incredibly difficult to let others know what is going on, or what you may need. One of the reasons it can be hard to cross the finish line is that so many try to do it alone.
Running alone you may go faster, but running in a group you go further. The world’s toughest race was evidence of that.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
