Have you ever pulled your car up to a stoplight and glanced over at the driver in the car beside you. Magically, somehow they know you’re looking at them. They stare right back.
Just by looking at someone, you change your relationship with them.
By looking at something, you change the nature of its existence.
Wayne Dyer reinforced this notion when he wrote: When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.
When we look at things repeatedly through the same lens, our thoughts and feelings about them don’t tend to change. By looking at our experiences through the eyes of others, we are offered the gift of being able to see them differently. Our world expands.
We can’t change what happened to us. We can change the way we view it. There’s incredible power in that.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The chocolate chip cookie. What a perfect creation. Whether it was first made by accident, or a flash of brilliance and loose hand with chocolate, this mouth-watering creation has remained a classic for many years.
This year, Mackenzie made it a goal to perfect her chocolate chip cookie recipe. We’ve been fortunate enough to sample her different attempts, each week learning more about the chemistry and subtleties of baking. I never would have believed that the sprinkling of flaked salt on top of a baked cookie could have such a transformative effect. Or understand the caramelizing effect of butter versus margarine. Small changes can indeed, have profound effects on the overall creation.
It’s amazing how often in life we use the same ingredients in a recipe, somehow expecting the outcome to be different. In many ways, health is similar to a perfect cookie recipe. It takes a multitude of ingredients, with the quality of each element having a significant impact on the outcome. Recovery from injury isn’t just about individual therapy. It also involves group work, exercise, balanced nutrition, healthy lifestyle and meaningful, supportive connection with the people who are important to us. If we’re missing an ingredient, the result won’t be as good.
If your recovery is going slower that you might like, don’t assume you’re doing it wrong. Maybe you’re exactly on track, but just need to adjust an ingredient or two.
We still have a few spots left in our Mind/Body Health and Recovery group for Caregivers. This is intended for partners/adult children of those who are injured. We want to take care of you too.
For those Veterans and First Responders who have taken a course before, feel free to join our monthly Maintaining HealthProgram, starting this September.
It’s amazing how two people can hear the same thing but interpret it in entirely different ways.
Joe and I were at the cottage recently, and he shared a line from a country music song he’d heard recently that he found amusing. The song is by Ingrid Andress, entitled “Waste of Lime”.
“That’s disgusting!” I exclaimed.
“What, no it’s not, it’s funny” Joe protested.
“I don’t understand what’s funny about it” I respond, looking at my husband with a tight feeling in the pit of my stomach.
“Well, she’s singing about the fact that she and a fellow shared tequila, and at the end of the evening, he left her, leaving her feeling that it had all been “Just a waste of lime and a waste of time” Joe explained.
“Oh,” I respond, with a sigh of relief “I thought she was singing about the fact that someone had been killed.. but they weren’t even worth the lime that had been put over the body”
Joe and I started at each other.
How is it possible that something as simple as lyrics to a song could have such different meanings?
Joe immediately understood the lime reference related to drinking.
After years working at the federal penitentiary and reading through forensic files, the same ingredients had very different meanings for me.
Different experiences, and different lenses for interpreting the world.
It makes a huge difference doing work with people with shared experiences. They’ve been there. They get it. What may seem dark in one context, is just business as usual in the next.
Come to a place where you’ll be understood, whatever lens you’re viewing the world through. We’re offering a number of exciting fall programs. Sign up now in order to avoid disappointment. Seats are filling quickly.
We all need to have a sense of belonging. Even porcupines need to connect. Did you know that a group of porcupines is called a prickle? Even if we don’t look approachable, it doesn’t mean we aren’t looking to connect.
I have a friend Kari MacLeod who walks both her cats and dogs through the forest near her house. Recently, she has had an unlikely new addition to the walking crew: a porcupine has been welcomed into the ranks.
This porcupine found its prickle with Kari and her pets.
Sometimes we find belonging in unexpected places. Even if we are coming out of our comfort zone to create it. Like porcupines, people who suffer from injury are not always seen as approachable. There might be fears of getting close.
It’s only after getting to know porcupines better that we realize their quills are only used as a protective measure. They might look threatening, but underneath it all, they’re just as loveable as any other creature. Their quills aren’t designed to keep people away, but to protect them from harm.
Many first time group participants have concerns about fitting in, but our shared experiences and common ground connect us in a way that is stronger than any differences that may exist. Whether you find your prickle with us or somewhere else, we hope you find strength and support within a community.
I see a lot of people who tell me that they don’t know what they’re feeling.
Years of pain have led them to block off emotion. An effort at self-protection.
This may be very smart over the short term. If we are immersed in a situation that is truly intolerable, it can be very adaptive not to feel. It minimizes suffering. The challenge is, once the threat’s gone, it can be hard knowing how to turn the emotions back on.
By blocking out the pain, we also block out the good stuff.
The Buddhists understood this basic premise. On one side of the coin is pain and suffering, on the other…joy and enlightenment. It’s impossible to have one without the other.
If we don’t truly feel, we don’t truly love.
If we haven’t felt in a while, it may be hard at first. But this too shall pass.
Recovery is a road that’s not meant to be walked in isolation. Sharing the load makes the burden that much lighter.
Walk with us. We’re offering many new programs in the fall: for those who are injured, and those who support them. We figure out a way to make it possible, even for those who might not have insurance.
Give us a call and we can get your journey started. It’s that simple.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
