Many people Iāve talked to recently complain about the challenge of feeling unmotivated.Ā Ā It seems theyāre working twice as hard as usual, less than usual, or having to balance a full work load while co-habitating an overcrowded house. The consistent theme is that they donāt feel motivated.Ā
I often think of my working life as blocks of concentrated energy punctuated by tantalizing rewards.Ā Ā Donāt get me wrong, I love what I do, but I love it even more when I know there is a vacation coming, or a family outing.Ā Ā Or even a simple night out with friends at the movies or local pub.Ā Ā
The strange thing about time recently is that many days feel the same.Ā Ā Excitement consists of the sun coming out, or having time to work the garden in the evening.Ā Ā Such is life.
Today I noticed a few businesses starting to open their doors.Ā Ā It felt like spring was finally here.Ā Ā Perhaps weāll all catch that forward momentum as we look ahead.
If youāre looking to boost your energy and motivation, check out our new on-line course starting next Friday:Ā Ā Mind/Body Health and Recovery.Ā Ā A holistic look at getting better. Each day, weāll spend time checking in with each person to see how theyāre doing, and do some fun exercises with Dr. Adrienne Wood to learn how making a few simple changes can have a profound impact on health. Sleep better, look betterā¦feel better.Ā Ā Iām in.
Now thatās something to look forward to.Ā Ā Hope to see you there!Ā Ā We still have few seats left.
Have you ever placed a glass upside down in the sink while washing dishes?Ā Ā Sometimes, it gets stuck.Ā Ā A powerful force of suction holds it to the bottom.Ā Ā If you are able to pry it up, water rushes in, quickly filling the vacuum or void that was created.
Most of us are experiencing significant upheaval in our lives due to COVID-19.Ā Ā The hustle and bustle of daily routine is replaced by a strange new reality.Ā Ā Maybe you are trying to work but struggling to find a quite space to do so.Ā Ā Perhaps you have not been able to work or pursue your regular daily activities and find yourself stuck at home more than you would like.Ā Ā One of the challenges we face is knowing how to intentionally fill the time so the default isnāt just whatever happens to be close by.Ā Ā Hmmm, the gym is closed, so Iāll get a snack instead.Ā Ā You see where Iām going with this?
If we are not intentional about how we spent our time, we run the risk of the vacuum being filled by whatever happens to be around.Ā Ā It might be video games, Netflix marathons, excessive eating, alcohol consumption or cannabis use.Ā Maybe you normally go out and socialize, but now you are finding yourself stuck at home.Ā Ā Ā Ā Ā
There has never before been a better time for intentional living.Ā Ā What is that you might ask?Ā Ā Itās the idea of structuring your day so that it falls in line with your values and beliefs.Ā Ā It ensures you are doing what you can to feel pleased with the way youāve spent your time.
Me, Iāve increased my creative time.Ā Ā Iām painting up a storm, having fun replicating beautiful patterns on rocks.Ā Ā I am starting a series called āNapkin printsā, copying beautiful patterns from napkins onto smooth rocks that I found at the beach. It gets me outside rock hunting, and is both relaxing and enjoyable copying beautiful pictures while listening to great tunes. Simple mindful practices such as this can go a long way towards restoring calm and a sense of order in a chaotic time.Ā Ā Iāve made a short video to show you, which I’ll post below.Ā Ā For those of you interested in learning more, we still have a few spots in ourĀ Healthy Living program, starting April 16.Ā Ā Instead of meeting at our office, all of our courses will be offered online, and weāll arrange for you to have a box of supplies needed in advance.Ā Ā No fears, we are quarantining our supplies as we speak to ensure that they are germ free, both after we purchase them, and before sending them to you. Ā Even though these groups are being held virtually, spaces will remain limited.
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
When I was a little girl, I was sure that there were monsters in the basement. I remember running full speed up the stairs, away from the dark cellar so that the monsters didnāt get me. They were huge, scary and dangerous. Avoiding it kept me afraid. Had I faced them, I would have discovered it was just the furnace making a weird noise. Slightly unsettling but not scary at all. Certainly not unmanageable.
Sometimes when we donāt want to feel something, itās easier to compartmentalize our emotions. We run away from them so that they canāt hurt us. The problem with this is that our fear of them is usually greater than the pain they can cause us. We feed our fears by looking away. They get their power from silence and being ignored or hidden.
Itās not uncommon to hear people say that thereās no recovery from PTSD.
Well, in my mind, thatās simply not the case.
It’s true that you’ll never go back to being exactly the same person you were before you were injured. But when you think about it, how many of us are ever the same as we used to be? As we learn and grow in life, we canāt help but grow from our experiences. What Iām referring to is post traumatic growth.
Sure, life might have been easier if I hadnāt logged seven years working in one of Canadaās largest penitentiaries. I might not have been injured. But then I wouldnāt be the person I am today, and Iām kinda liking her.
Donāt know about you but I certainly donāt want to go back to being my high school self (although the flare jeans with Canada flag inserts were quite fetching).
I definitely do not want to relive the angst of my twenties.
I may have a few more bumps, and scars on me now, but they serve as a testament to the fact that I have truly lived. I have a massive scar across my right knee that I got while building a school in Tanzania. Iām proud of it, and in no way want to erase that experience.
If I work too hard my muscles flare up – reminders of the need to pace myself better. Areas where I have previously been injured will always be vulnerable during times of stress. They serve as my personal barometers for health. I thank these symptoms for gently reminding me when Iām not paying close enough attention to my needs or limits.
I guess Iām saying that I work hard each day to keep the superwoman cape in the closet. Itās not easy because it feels oh so comfortable. I try to simply focus on having a good day, going to bed at night feeling satisfied with whatever small thing I might have been able to accomplish.
So, itās true, you will never be the same person you were before. It is possible, though, to become someone capable of living a rich and full life, wiser for all the things you have experienced.
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
High performance athletes canāt always do whatās expected. Occasionally, they might have a minor sprain or injury that needs nurturing. In the case of a major setback, they might be on the sidelines for a longer period of time. This doesnāt mean they arenāt a top performer. It simply means that no matter what weāre good at, or what weāre trying to work on, none of us can be good at it all of the time.
Sometimes when we have a setback, it might be easy to doubt whether weāve made any progress at all.
āMaybe the good mood I had last month wasnāt real…ā
āI feel like Iām back at square oneā
āI thought I was doing so much better, what does it mean now that Iām really struggling?ā
As in any journey, the path has peaks and valleys. The emotions you feel at any one point in time will never be a constant. True, the good times will passā¦ but so will the bad.
The most important thing to remember in those moments of self-doubt is thatās the time to reach out. Itās totally counter-intuitive, but a certain way to turn things around quickly. When we most want to retreat, thatās actually when we need to advance.
Donāt wait until youāre feeling good to join one of our groupsā¦ it would be a very empty room if we all took that approach. Take a look at the programs weāre offering in the new year and see if thereās one that seems right for you. Thereās a seat waiting for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
During a recent training trip in Quebec, I took advantage of a warm afternoon by taking a stroll down a remote country road. At the end of the road, the sound of a trickling waterfall caught my attention. Drawn towards it, I spied a small blue door supported by weathered stone pillars. On the door was a sign declaring āPropriete Privee,ā or private property. Surrounding the small waterfall were five lines of barbed wire, ensuring that no one enter the property.
What a shame, I thought to myself, that such a special spot be barred from view by others. The owners may have had good reason to guard their property ā perhaps trespassers had abused the privilege of visiting. I realized though, that those past incidents served to form the rationale for a permanent barrier. The gate served not only to keep people out, it also prevented people from coming in.
It isnāt uncommon that we build barriers to keep ourselves safe following trauma. Whether itās imaginary walls or barbed wire, the thought of letting others in can be threatening. I have no doubt that when we build the walls we do so because they are needed. How do we know, though, when itās safe to take them down?
Joining a treatment group offers a safe way to connect with others. Youāll never be asked to share anything you arenāt ready to share, and we offer a structured and supportive way of exploring topics that we hope youāll find useful on your journey to health. We still have a few seats left in the āStop Faking Good & Start Feeling Goodā group, please call to sign up soon to avoid disappointment. Our upcoming Community Connection days allow a more informal way of connecting and having fun. Running over three Fridays in October, the first one on October 4th is for Veterans and First Responders who have taken programs at Landing Strong. The second (being held on October 11th) is opened to those who have taken group programs with us and to their partners, spouses and others who have been important supports. On October 18th, we welcome anyone who has taken a Landing Strong Program as well as any Veteran, Military Member or First Responder who might be thinking of taking a program, but arenāt sure and want a chance to test the waters. We are offering these Community Connection Days free of charge, just give us a phone call to let us know youāre coming.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
