One of the biggest challenges we can face following injury is determining how to best fit into our old lives. Picking up where we left off usually isnât possible. Knowing how to contribute and feel as though weâre still of use can feel confusing.
As people recover, they start a process of gently exploring meaningful ways to stay connected to the things they love, without becoming re-injured. I have had discussions with many veterans, police officers, paramedics, and firefighters regarding strategies for re-involvement that do not involve further trauma exposure. What many have found is that their knowledge of safety, procedures and training runs rich and deep. Many have decades of experience.
Instead of figuring how to reinsert oneself into an old role, it might be helpful to consider the question: âHow can I help train the next generation to practice safely and effectively.â
You possess specialized knowledge of equipment, procedures, and operation of million-dollar vehicles. This is incredibly valuable.
When youâre ready for community involvement, thereâs a place for you. Itâs just a matter figuring out the best fit. If your frontal lobe still feels off-line, no worries, with time, memory and clarity of thought will return. Procedural memories will be second nature again. You may not be wearing the same uniform, but the strengths that defined you are a constant, itâs just a matter of rediscovering them.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
No matter how long your journey appears to be, there is never more than this: one step, one breath, one moment… Now. – Eckhart Tolle
Many of you who know me know that my family is strongly connected to Africa. Weâve taken school groups to Kenya and Tanzania, both for community service and a trek up to the top of Kilimanjaro. My son Kyle, my daughter Mackenzie, and I have done Kili twice. Joe, my husband, eight times. Each time, leading a group of trusting students.
Park rangers tell us that, generally speaking, half of the travellers who try donât summit. Our groups average a 98% success rate. Here are some of the things weâve learned that help:
Training takes time, and is done in gradual increments. The journey is made one step at a time, one breath at a time. We start in September for a March climb. Early training hikes are short, weight free, and low intensity. Over time we increase intensity, duration and load.
Working as a team increases the likelihood of success. We train together, walk together, celebrate together, and struggle together.
No headphones are allowed. By staying connected, we talk and encourage one another. The strength of our team is directly related to the strength of the relationships with have with one another.
Every hike involves treats: something home-baked and yummy to look forward to.
Trauma recovery is like a personal expedition to Kilimanjaro. I like to think all of the same principles apply. Working together, we can significantly shift the odds in our favour. As the guides say Pole pole (slow slow)âŠone step at a time.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Have you ever noticed the expression on peopleâs faces when theyâre riding the subway? Itâs a specific look: slack face, eyes downcast staring intently at an imaginary object on the floor. Some people wear ear buds, some read their digital novels, others close their eyes and escape to their thoughts to pass the time. Thereâs something about being in transit thatâs uncomfortable. Weâre willing to endure it, because it doesn’t last and it’s taking us somewhere we want to be. Like an ill-fitting coat, weâll put up with it temporarily because we know that, in a short time, weâll be able to take it off and be somewhere better.
If youâre feeling a bit uncomfortable with the spot youâre in, know that it’s normal. It can feel like a long dark tunnel, where youâre impatiently waiting to get to your destination. Itâs good to remind ourselves that any good trip has periods of discomfort.  Itâs the nature of transit.  Donât let it scare you.  Itâs worth the journey. Â
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
âDonât look back, stay in the present,â people may tell you, urging you not to dwell on the difficult times.Â
YetâŠlike trickles of rain finding their way through creases in a rock, our minds revisit old scenes and emotions, replaying them in an endless loop that interrupts sleep.
It may feel like youâre haunted, having these old stories replay over and over in your head. In reality, itâs our brainâs way of pointing is to the things we need to examine in order to recover.
âYou never know where youâre going unless you know where youâve been.â A wise man said to me recently.  Besides the fact thatâs itâs a great lead line for a country Western song, itâs also true.  Our brains know that, in order to heal, they need to repeatedly return to the site of injury, working to make sense of what happened.  The problem is, when we do it alone, we tend to view our past the same way, over and over.   Knowing where youâve been helps navigate the way forward.  Doing so in good company provides a fresh lens through which to view it.
Join the Landing Strong on-line experience.  Call now to register for programs starting in November and January. Weâll help you find your way.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itâs amazing how two people can hear the same thing but interpret it in entirely different ways.
Joe and I were at the cottage recently, and he shared a line from a country music song heâd heard recently that he found amusing. The song is by Ingrid Andress, entitled âWaste of Limeâ.
âThatâs disgusting!â I exclaimed.
âWhat, no itâs not, itâs funnyâ Joe protested.
âI donât understand whatâs funny about itâ I respond, looking at my husband with a tight feeling in the pit of my stomach.
âWell, sheâs singing about the fact that she and a fellow shared tequila, and at the end of the evening, he left her, leaving her feeling that it had all been âJust a waste of lime and a waste of timeâ Joe explained.
âOh,â I respond, with a sigh of relief âI thought she was singing about the fact that someone had been killed.. but they werenât even worth the lime that had been put over the bodyâ
Joe and I started at each other.
How is it possible that something as simple as lyrics to a song could have such different meanings?
Joe immediately understood the lime reference related to drinking.
After years working at the federal penitentiary and reading through forensic files, the same ingredients had very different meanings for me.
Different experiences, and different lenses for interpreting the world.
It makes a huge difference doing work with people with shared experiences. Theyâve been there. They get it. What may seem dark in one context, is just business as usual in the next.
Come to a place where youâll be understood, whatever lens youâre viewing the world through.  Weâre offering a number of exciting fall programs. Sign up  now in order to avoid disappointment.  Seats are filling quickly.
On the surface, a young seedling looks fragile. In fact, it has likely spent a good deal of energy and time growing roots, and building strength even before it breaks the earthâs surface.
Trauma recovery is like that.  Chances are, a great deal of growth happens even before anyone notices.  When people come for their first group session or counselling appointment, they have usually started a change process even before walking through the door.  Merely deciding to make a change is a step in the right direction.
You may be unsure if you are ready to join a group, but the fact that you are starting to think about it is evidence that you may be further along than you think.  Some people may get a new plant and think it is just beginning.  In truth, we know that it has already had to prove itâs resilience by making it this far.
We invite you to imagine how it might feel to sit in a group with others who understand what it took for you to get here, as they have had to do the same.
A strand of trees grows stronger than a single seedling.Â
This fall we are offering a number of groups. Something for everyone, irrespective of where they are in their recovery.
If youâre thinking you may be ready to join a group this September, give us a call. Â
Weâd love to hear from you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
