by Landing Strong | Mar 26, 2021 | Uncategorized
The key to joy is being easily pleased.
– Mark Nepo
Let’s take a mental vacation. You’re enjoying one of nature’s greatest views, but the person beside you is struggling, noticing instead everything that’s missing from the experience. Perhaps it’s too hot, or too cold. Maybe they wanted to catch the sunset but just missed it. Maybe they think of the people who are not there to share it with them.
They are trapped in the land of expectations.
What would happen if we stopped to notice each moment without expectations? Relinquish judgement and focus on those things, here and now, that bring us jov.
Injuries from trauma involve judgement. Usually against ourselves, sometimes others.
An essential aspect of recovery involves living in the here and now. Noticing, appreciating, without judgement, all that is beautiful in our day.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Mar 26, 2021 | Uncategorized
How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change.
– Elizabeth Lesser
I was speaking with a government employee some time ago. She identified the stress she experienced working in an environment that was constantly changing. Every year, new procedures were brought in to address workplace challenges. It struck me that she was in for a hard road, since the only predictable thing about government is change.
I was reminded of Kodak. Remember them? The former photography giant who missed the digital train because they were so resistant to change. Now the Kodak name is barely recognized by the younger generations.
Recovery and growth are all about change. Letting go of the familiar, and embracing the unknown: being willing to view our experiences from a different perspective. By sharing our experiences within safe communities, we allow ourselves the opportunity to view things differently. Our world expands, and recovery becomes real.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Mar 26, 2021 | Uncategorized
To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear.
– Mark Nepo
I love what I do. Perhaps it’s because every day offers the opportunity to learn something new. If I approach a situation thinking I know the answer, this can prevent me from truly seeing, listening, and understanding.
In truth, the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is that I really don’t know.
There’s something incredibly freeing in that.
It’s often in the hardest moments that we discover life’s true beauty: courage, compassion, sacrifice, and love. I want to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what am witnessing, and hearing.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Mar 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, PTSD, Resilience, Support
Recently I’ve been enjoying the television series The Crown, and find my thoughts returning to a scene where Queen Mary explains to her granddaughter the young Queen Elizabeth, the importance of remaining impartial:
“To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human. People will always want you to smile or agree or frown and the minute you do, you will have declared a position, a point of view…and that is the one thing as Sovereign that you are not entitled to do.” “Well that’s fine for the Sovereign… but where does that leave me?” Queen Elizabeth responds sadly.
It strikes me this conversation is not limited to royalty. Many of us are in service related professions where we routinely perform duties that may not be in line with personal beliefs or preferences. Putting on a “game face” is part of the job, and a display of emotion can compromise our ability to do so effectively.
Soldiers are asked to go onto the battlefield, defending a cause they may not believe in. They do not have the privilege of evaluating whether they want to advance when ordered to do so.
Police are asked to place themselves in the midst of violent situations, working to protect those who, a moment earlier, may have been threatening them.
Paramedics repeatedly respond to calls at the same house for drug overdoses.
To be of service means, by definition, to put our needs aside and tend to those of others. There comes a time, though, when we need to put ourselves first. Recognizing what we are experiencing, and finding a safe place to work through the emotional residue.
Only then do we truly care for ourselves. Separate and distinct from the work we do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Mar 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Challenge, Community, Friday Inspiration
Anyone who knows me also knows I love sappy movies with predictable happy endings. I love the feeling of knowing that, in 90 minutes, no matter what challenges are faced, everything will be okay in the end. I think in many ways it’s my philosophy of life. If we keep on journeying, eventually we’ll get home.
Home isn’t always a place is it? It’s often a feeling. Sometimes it’s just being: Listening to music with friends, having a heart to heart over coffee with a friend, or walking in nature with your dog.
Home is a feeling that starts with being comfortable with ourselves. Whatever challenges you may have faced on your journey, we can overcome them together. Join us for a group program, and make your home a supportive community of peers who may have walked similar paths.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
