by Landing Strong | Feb 25, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Mindfulness, Relaxation, Self-Care, Wellbeing
“I’ve learned how to be in the present”
“How?” Asked the boy
“I find a quiet spot and shut my eyes and breathe”
“That’s good, and then?”
“Then I focus.”
“What do you focus on?”
“Cake” said the mole.
True confessions time. When I’m in yoga, trying to clear my mind, I may not think about cake, but I do contemplate having a lovely London Fog at the café next to the studio when class is over. It’s usually when I am really uncomfortable, experiencing the full force of my cardboard stiff body that I allow my mind to drift to more pleasant things.
It’s normal not to think about the things that are uncomfortable. When we are at work doing uncomfortable tasks, that’s an essential skill. Knowing how to unpack it at the end of the day, though, is often a skill that needs to be developed.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Feb 12, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Communication, Friday's Inspiration, Love, Wisdom
It’s hard not to ask the question, especially at this time of year. The following answers were offered by young children in response to a survey by the Couples Institute regarding the question “What is love?”
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your fries without making them give you any of theirs
– Chrissy age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired
– Terri, age 4
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day
– Noelle 7
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken
– Elaine age 5
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day
– Mary Ann age 4
You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it, But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget
– Jessica age 8
Perhaps the best example of love wasn’t something that was said, but done. Leo Buscaglia shared this special moment he witnessed:
A four year old child had an elderly gentleman as a next door neighbour who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said “Nothing, I just helped him cry”.
For me, love is an action. It’s about moving toward rather than moving away. It’s about staying present, even when it’s uncomfortable. It’s about patiently waiting through silence, until emotions can form.
Love is what keeps us whole, allows us to heal, giving the walk forward meaning.
Warm thoughts and lots of love on this Valentine’s Day,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Feb 5, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Support
“I got you a delicious cake,” said the mole
“Did you?”
“Yes”
“Where is it?”
“I ate it,” said the mole
“Oh”
“But I got you another.”
“Did you? Where is that one?”
“The same thing seems to have happened.”
-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do. Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong.
Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary.
“What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t belong?” Or even worse, “What if I say something that injures someone?”
Being in group is about meeting people where they are at. Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed. We aren’t supposed to all be the same. We don’t always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.
I can promise you one thing …we won’t eat your cake! Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Jan 29, 2021 | Uncategorized
Isn’t it odd. We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside.
– The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
If people could see us, truly see us…what would they think? Would they see honour, integrity, courage, and loyalty? Or would peeking behind the curtain reveal things that we may be hesitant to acknowledge: sadness, exhaustion, guilt and loneliness.
Anger is the easy emotion- the suit of armour- but it’s not what lies underneath.
What strikes me, is that we wouldn’t feel the hard feelings if the good ones weren’t also true.
We can’t feel guilt or shame if we don’t have integrity
We can’t feel loneliness if we haven’t known teamwork.
We can’t feel fatigue if we haven’t worked hard.
We can’t truly know sadness if we haven’t known love.
We are all these things.
Perfect is overrated. It’s the knocks and bruises that make us real.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Jan 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Support
“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy.
“Help” said the horse.
“When have you been at your strongest?” Asked the boy
“When I have dared to show my weakness”
- The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
I used to belief courage was about doing things that involved incredible risk: Running into burning buildings; putting oneself into the line of fire; more recently caring for those with contagious diseases.
These are indeed acts of courage.
What I have learned to appreciate though, is a quieter more invisible form of courage. It’s the force that motivates us to speak when it’s easier to remain silent. To stand up and be seen when we can blend in or remain invisible. To ask for help when in many ways it’s less effort to simply carry on.
Asking for help may be one of the hardest and most courageous things we can do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
