One of the biggest challenges we can face following injury is determining how to best fit into our old lives. Picking up where we left off usually isnât possible. Knowing how to contribute and feel as though weâre still of use can feel confusing.
As people recover, they start a process of gently exploring meaningful ways to stay connected to the things they love, without becoming re-injured. I have had discussions with many veterans, police officers, paramedics, and firefighters regarding strategies for re-involvement that do not involve further trauma exposure. What many have found is that their knowledge of safety, procedures and training runs rich and deep. Many have decades of experience.
Instead of figuring how to reinsert oneself into an old role, it might be helpful to consider the question: âHow can I help train the next generation to practice safely and effectively.â
You possess specialized knowledge of equipment, procedures, and operation of million-dollar vehicles. This is incredibly valuable.
When youâre ready for community involvement, thereâs a place for you. Itâs just a matter figuring out the best fit. If your frontal lobe still feels off-line, no worries, with time, memory and clarity of thought will return. Procedural memories will be second nature again. You may not be wearing the same uniform, but the strengths that defined you are a constant, itâs just a matter of rediscovering them.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
There are many things about this country that Iâm proud of.  This hardly feels like a time for celebration, though, as deep penetrating sonar unearths our nations darkest secrets. Â
Today, on Canada Day, I choose to focus on the beauty and diversity of our country.  I celebrate tolerance, respect and understanding.
I celebrate compassion and education.
I celebrate the richness of the culture of our First Nations people.
I celebrate a day and time when we view one another as equals, regardless of race, gender and ability.
I envision a country where all this is possible.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
How do we make a difference when the problem feels so big?
Over the past few weeks, the very foundation of our country has rocked with the discovery of 1,323 bodies of First Nations children at various sites across Canada. Â Itâs believed that there are many more yet to be found.Â
Iâve hesitated to write about this.  Itâs incredibly important and I donât want to get it wrong.  How do we possibly come to terms with this level of atrocity?  The genocide of a generation of our First Nations children: are we glimpsing the ugliest part of humanity?Â
Iâm reminded of a discussion I had many years ago following news of the tragic shooting at Montrealâs Ăcole Polytechnique where innocent lives were taken.  During a National conference of 1000 psychologists, we sat in a room together and asked ourselves the question: How to we respond to such atrocity?  How can we prevent such horrific acts of violence from reoccurring?  There were no quick answers.  We all felt powerless.  Eventually one of the speakers stood and spoke in a tentative voice:
âI donât have the power to change the world, but I certainly can have a significant impact on my immediate circle within my community.âÂ
Others chimed in:
 âIf each of us has a voice and speaks out, we are 1000 strong in this room alone.  If we all speak to 100 people thatâs 100,000 minds that we have the power to change.  We all have an immediate circle of influence.  If we all commit to being part of the solution, demanding change, that has to have an impactâ. Â
I donât pretend to have the answers.  Nothing can make this right.  We canât go back and undo the harm that has been done.  I was taught that Canada is a mosaic woven of many different colours and fabrics.  I believe the diversity is what provides richness to our Country.Â
We donât heal from our past by looking away.  If there is to be hope for a version of Canada where all are treated with dignity and respect, we need to witness even our nations darkest periods. Â
Ignoring pain does not allow for healing.  It prolongs it.  Letâs strengthen our circles, making sure the steps forward are meaningful and lasting.
This is news that needs to be felt.  Only then can we ensure it never happens again.Â
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
There they are. Crocuses, snowdrops and daffodils, pushing their way to sunlight, oblivious of everything that has transpired during this past year.
With reassuring predictability and beauty, they remind us that hope is just around the corner.
Stay the course.
Take a moment to breathe in the fresh fragrance.
Notice the rich colours.
Like prickly bears after a long hibernation we’re eager to be roaming freely. Reconnecting with long lost family and friends. I vow to remain patient, tolerant and kind, grateful for the vaccinations that will once again return a semblance of normalcy to our lives.
Giving thanks to all those who have worked so tirelessly to keep us fed, healthy and safe.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Working in the federal penitentiary, I frequently met inmates who chose alcohol over life. They repeatedly shared stories of relationships that fell apart because the pull towards substances was more compelling than their desire to be in relationships. When given the choice, they chose Johnny Walker over their partners.
The decision to cut down on substance use (or to be abstinent) is really a decision about health and connection.
I choose to trust. I choose to feel. I choose to fully live.
Abstinence does indeed help the heart grow fonder. We run group programs year round designed to help you ensure the life you are living reflects the life you want. Feel free to call us if youâd like to jump into an upcoming group.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
I recently watched a charming movie on Netflix called A map of tiny perfect things. A young couple, caught in their own personal ground hog day, struggle to find meaning when every day seems a repetition of the previous one. Somewhat like waking up each morning to hear the COVID report. They hatch an ingenious scheme to devote themselves to finding tiny perfect moments that exist within the fabric of each day.
I love this idea. Instead of focussing on things that canât be controlled, I want to form my own list of tiny perfect moments. Itâs easy to miss them. Sometimes we have to look very closely to see.
Iâll share one from yesterday. A young man in his late teens is at the Big Stop struggling to get his debit card working. Heâs filled his gas tank, but canât pay for it because his card wonât work. The cashier mentions that she is supposed to call the RCMP in such a circumstance. Immediately a woman in line steps up and says âdonât do that, how much is the bill? Iâll get it for himâ.
Embarrassed that I didnât think of it, I offer to cover half. Turns out the bill is only $20.
That could be the end of the story, but it isnât. As I am pulling out of the station I see the young man waving his arms and running after me. He explains that he got his card working and wanted to give me back the $10 I had chipped in, insisting that I take it. He was articulate, thoughtful and appreciative.
What a beautiful tiny perfect moment to start this weekâs collection.
In group we have the opportunity to witness many tiny perfect moments. Moments when people listen to one another without judgement. Notes of support that are offered after a difficult share. Celebratory cheers when there has been an accomplishment. Or simple quite head nots of understanding when a group member shares something they are struggling with.
There are still two seats left in our Healthy Living Group starting next week. Itâs a chance to ensure the life you are living reflects the person you want to be. Give us a call today if youâd like to join.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
No matter how long your journey appears to be, there is never more than this: one step, one breath, one moment… Now. – Eckhart Tolle
Many of you who know me know that my family is strongly connected to Africa. Weâve taken school groups to Kenya and Tanzania, both for community service and a trek up to the top of Kilimanjaro. My son Kyle, my daughter Mackenzie, and I have done Kili twice. Joe, my husband, eight times. Each time, leading a group of trusting students.
Park rangers tell us that, generally speaking, half of the travellers who try donât summit. Our groups average a 98% success rate. Here are some of the things weâve learned that help:
Training takes time, and is done in gradual increments. The journey is made one step at a time, one breath at a time. We start in September for a March climb. Early training hikes are short, weight free, and low intensity. Over time we increase intensity, duration and load.
Working as a team increases the likelihood of success. We train together, walk together, celebrate together, and struggle together.
No headphones are allowed. By staying connected, we talk and encourage one another. The strength of our team is directly related to the strength of the relationships with have with one another.
Every hike involves treats: something home-baked and yummy to look forward to.
Trauma recovery is like a personal expedition to Kilimanjaro. I like to think all of the same principles apply. Working together, we can significantly shift the odds in our favour. As the guides say Pole pole (slow slow)âŠone step at a time.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
No matter what the situation, remind yourself “I have a choice.” Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â – Deepak Chopra
Injury is often associated with powerlessness or a loss of control.  When I first started working in the federal penitentiary, I believed I was capable of evoking powerful, positive change.  Both for the inmates I was working with, as well as with the system itself. Â
âYou donât belong hereâ the inmates repeatedly warned me.  Turns out they were right, but it took me seven years to understand that. Â
Iâve never thought of myself as a quitter. I had to learn the hard way about the difference between quitting, and choosing not to continue.  Quitting is giving up.  Choosing not to continue is making an informed decision based on your experiences regarding what is healthy and sustainable, and what isnât. Itâs easy to judge ourselves based on what we were not able to do.
We can focus on the things we couldnât do, or we can choose to focus on those things that are in our power. I choose to do my best to help someone today I chose to invest in my health I chose to move forward. I chose love.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
We don’t reach the light through endless analysis of the dark. We reach the light by choosing the light. – Marianne Williamson
True confession: when I swim over dark water, Iâm overcome by fear of prehistoric creatures rising from darkened depths and grabbing me.  It harkens back to days as a young girl, reading through glossy prints of terrifying prehistoric fish.  Imagine a piranha, and multiply its size and number of teeth by 100.  You get the picture. Â
For some reason, if I swim with someone beside me, Iâm safe.  A magical band of protection unites us and protects us from harm.
Trauma recovery is like that.  Alone, in the dark, itâs terrifying.  Together, by shining a light on it, somehow it doesnât seem so overwhelming.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The key to joy is being easily pleased. – Mark Nepo
Letâs take a mental vacation. Youâre enjoying one of natureâs greatest views, but the person beside you is struggling, noticing instead everything thatâs missing from the experience.  Perhaps itâs too hot, or too cold.  Maybe they wanted to catch the sunset but just missed it. Maybe they think of the people who are not there to share it with them.Â
They are trapped in the land of expectations.
What would happen if we stopped to notice each moment without expectations?  Relinquish judgement and focus on those things, here and now, that bring us jov.
Injuries from trauma involve judgement.  Usually against ourselves, sometimes others.Â
An essential aspect of recovery involves living in the here and now.  Noticing, appreciating, without judgement, all that is beautiful in our day.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
