It’s there, staring at me. I know you get it. We all have such piles.
Our heap of “to dos” that we’ve not yet had the chance to get to.
Here’s the interesting thing. The more anxious I become about it, the less likely I am to actually do it. The anxiety associated with the task takes on a life of its own.
When we avoid small things, they start to feel very big. If we can bring ourselves to respond to them in the moment, we take away their power. It may involve asking for help from others or leaning into challenging emotions. It doesn’t have to become a big weight to carry.
Feeling anxious about things doesn’t change them.
Leaning into them does.
I’m dedicated to spending the next few days leaning into my areas of discomfort: taking a look at my piles and developing a strategy to address them. I want my exterior and interior worlds to be aligned.
I don’t have to do it all. Just bite size pieces over the next week.
Perhaps you have a similar corner that you’d like to work on.
Join me.
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
There they are. Crocuses, snowdrops and daffodils, pushing their way to sunlight, oblivious of everything that has transpired during this past year.
With reassuring predictability and beauty, they remind us that hope is just around the corner.
Stay the course.
Take a moment to breathe in the fresh fragrance.
Notice the rich colours.
Like prickly bears after a long hibernation we’re eager to be roaming freely. Reconnecting with long lost family and friends. I vow to remain patient, tolerant and kind, grateful for the vaccinations that will once again return a semblance of normalcy to our lives.
Giving thanks to all those who have worked so tirelessly to keep us fed, healthy and safe.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
I’m not a surfer, but I have a world of respect for those who have mastered the skill. It’s a sport that’s both thrilling, and terrifying.
We took a family trip to Florida once, and devoted ourselves to learning to surf. I did manage to get up a few times, but when I fell off, I wasn’t prepared for the crushing blow of the waves that snuck up from behind, pummeling me further under. Just as I was coming up for air, a massive wave would crash on top of me, leaving me coughing, disoriented, and gasping. I just couldn’t catch my breath.
In many ways, recent news has been like that. Just when we think we’re starting to get a handle on the latest events, another wave comes pounding down upon us, leaving us reeling. Canada (and Nova Scotia) has suffered another devastating loss with the recent crash of a Cyclone helicopter off the coast of Greece. Our hearts and prayers extend the the families of those who who were on that flight. The military is an extended family, and any losses or injuries cut deeply.
If we didn’t care, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
I don’t recall a time when there have been so many repeated waves of challenge and tragedy in such a short space of time. At least not in my generation…and not in this country.
It’s important to acknowledge that there’s a backdrop to all of these current events. Personal challenges or struggles each of us face in our immediate circles. Family members who are sick or struggling, losses that people can’t formally grieve, economic hardship and uncertainty.
Yes, it is important to stay informed. But it’s equally important not to oversaturate oneself with the news. I’ve spoken with many veterans and first responders in recent weeks who’ve been glued to their televisions trying to get a handle on the steadily changing state of things. Doing their best to be prepared. After all, knowledge is power.
Or is it? If we watch too much, it starts to control us. Maybe it’s time we cut way back, limiting our news exposure to a few basics. Taking a break entirely, or limiting our exposure to a few minutes per day so that we gain the latest highlights.
Putting distance between ourselves and the news does not mean that we don’t care. It’s evidence that we do. Because we care so much, it’s important that we don’t immerse ourselves in it.
So if you can, this weekend, turn off your electronics. Go for a walk. Bake, cook and be creative. It’s a great time to make some flower boxes in preparation for transplanting your indoor garden outside. Ride a bike, enjoy a hike and take some time to enjoy the signs of spring.
Take some time to catch your breath, allowing ourselves to realize that this too shall pass.
I fully enjoyed my holidays, but have to admit…the thought of returning to work is somewhat daunting.
I can’t help but think of the large to do list awaiting me. The tightness in my chest serves as a reminder that I may be expecting too much of myself. I don’t think I’m alone in this regard.
“I am the architect of my universe,” I remind myself. “If I don’t like the way something feels, it’s no one’s job but mine to change it”.
I decided to set aside some time this afternoon and draw up lists. Get those “to do” things out of my head and onto paper. I assigned them priorities. The list isn’t actually as long as I thought.
The beauty of the sun glistening on the lake reminds me that deadlines are arbitrary. There is really nothing that is urgent: no one is going to die if I don’t get it all done immediately. Instead of things I have to do, I’ll view my tasks as things I can feel good about accomplishing.
Most importantly, I’ll make sure to add a bunch of fun and creative things to my list. If this is to be my job description for the next year…I want it to be creative, engaging and enjoyable.
I add an extra list…creative hobby ideas, and feel myself lighten.
Changing the world might be important, but so is enjoying the day 🙂
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
This week I looked out the window and noticed a flurry of tiny snowflakes making their way down from the skies. Weather forecasters were calling for a large storm, and I knew that was going to make for a complicated day at the office.
“Small flakes big snow” one of the clients mentioned on their way out, “get your snow shovels ready!”
I’ve heard that expression before, and wondered about its origins. Is there some ancient wisdom I’m unaware of that would allow me to be able to better predict my day simply by looking at the size of snowflakes? A few minutes of google research later, I realize it’s not quite so simple. Warmer temperatures lead to higher water content, and thus larger flakes. Colder atmospheric temperature forms smaller flakes because there isn’t as much sticky stuff to hold the flakes together. So in a way It’s true: if it’s warm outside it isn’t likely to stay snowy for long…it might turn to slushy wet stuff or rain. Small snowflakes and lower temperatures are a sign that whatever falls is likely to hang around for longer.
It strikes me that change is a bit like the snow. If we try to do too much too soon (large flakes) it isn’t likely to be lasting. Small repeated steps in the right direction, however, accumulate over time and can lead to a mountain of change. If we turn the heat up on ourselves too quickly, it’s not sustainable. If I want to take up running, for example, and start by trying to run 5 km at once, it’s likely too much. Sure I did it some years ago, but that doesn’t mean my body will recognize that movement now. A series of small steps, building up over time will increase my stamina so that I’m better equipped to do the run. Maybe a better goal is to start walking 10,000 steps a day instead. If I want any positive change to be lasting, easing in with gradual small changes is the way to go.
Keeping in line with our New Year commitment to self-compassion, I will embrace my inner (running) warrior, and enjoy pleasant walks through the snow this winter. Enjoying each small flake as it accumulates into something bigger. Maybe you will too?
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
“Helping people overcome their demons is not the same as helping people live well” – Martin Seligman
What does it mean to live well? Is it to be rich? Is it to be loved? Is it to live a life of purpose?
Many of you have chosen a life of service because at a deep level, you understand that personal fulfillment is connected to the notion of contribution. Being of service is valued. Through meaningful connection to one another, our lives have purpose. When we take off the uniform, it can be hard to know who we are.
Chances are, who you are was determined long before you put on the uniform. As a kid, you were probably the one who offered to help out. In social situations, you likely notice who is in need and are quick to offer assistance.
Who you are is not defined by the clothes you wear, rather, it’s who you are inside: who you’ve always been.
Sometimes, when we’re injured, it’s easy to lose sight of that old self. It’s still there. It’s always been there. Just waiting to re-emerge when you are ready.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
