How strange that the nature of life is change, yet the nature of human beings is to resist change. – Elizabeth Lesser
I was speaking with a government employee some time ago.  She identified the stress she experienced working in an environment that was constantly changing.  Every year, new procedures were brought in to address workplace challenges. It struck me that she was in for a hard road, since the only predictable thing about government is change.   Â
I was reminded of Kodak.  Remember them?   The former photography giant who missed the digital train because they were so resistant to change. Now the Kodak name is barely recognized by the younger generations. Â
Recovery and growth are all about change.  Letting go of the familiar, and embracing the unknown: being willing to view our experiences from a different perspective.  By sharing our experiences within safe communities, we allow ourselves the opportunity to view things differently.  Our world expands, and recovery becomes real. Â
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
To listen is to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what we hear. Â Â Â Â Â Â Â – Mark Nepo
I love what I do.  Perhaps itâs because every day offers the opportunity to learn something new.  If I approach a situation thinking I know the answer, this can prevent me from truly seeing, listening, and understanding. Â
In truth, the more I learn, the more I realize how much there is that I really donât know.Â
Thereâs something incredibly freeing in that.Â
Itâs often in the hardest moments that we discover lifeâs true beauty: courage, compassion, sacrifice, and love.  I want to lean in, softly, with a willingness to be changed by what am witnessing, and hearing.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Recently Iâve been enjoying the television series The Crown, and find my thoughts returning to a scene where Queen Mary explains to her granddaughter the young Queen Elizabeth, the importance of remaining impartial:
“To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human. People will always want you to smile or agree or frown and the minute you do, you will have declared a position, a point of viewâŠand that is the one thing as Sovereign that you are not entitled to do.”  “Well thatâs fine for the Sovereign⊠but where does that leave me?” Queen Elizabeth responds sadly.  It strikes me this conversation is not limited to royalty. Many of us are in service related professions where we routinely perform duties that may not be in line with personal beliefs or preferences.  Putting on a âgame faceâ is part of the job, and a display of emotion can compromise our ability to do so effectively. Â
Soldiers are asked to go onto the battlefield, defending a cause they may not believe in. They do not have the privilege of evaluating whether they want to advance when ordered to do so.
Police are asked to place themselves in the midst of violent situations, working to protect those who, a moment earlier, may have been threatening them.
Paramedics repeatedly respond to calls at the same house for drug overdoses.
To be of service means, by definition, to put our needs aside and tend to those of others.  There comes a time, though, when we need to put ourselves first.  Recognizing what we are experiencing, and finding a safe place to work through the emotional residue.
Only then do we truly care for ourselves.  Separate and distinct from the work we do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Anyone who knows me also knows I love sappy movies with predictable happy endings. I love the feeling of knowing that, in 90 minutes, no matter what challenges are faced, everything will be okay in the end.  I think in many ways itâs my philosophy of life.  If we keep on journeying, eventually weâll get home. Â
Home isnât always a place is it?  Itâs often a feeling.  Sometimes itâs just being:  Listening to music with friends, having a heart to heart over coffee with a friend, or walking in nature with your dog.
Home is a feeling that starts with being comfortable with ourselves.  Whatever challenges you may have faced on your journey, we can overcome them together.  Join us for a group program, and make your home a supportive community of peers who may have walked similar paths. Â
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itâs hard not to ask the question, especially at this time of year. The following answers were offered by young children in response to a survey by the Couples Institute regarding the question âWhat is love?â
Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your fries without making them give you any of theirs – Chrissy age 6
Love is what makes you smile when you are tired – Terri, age 4
Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day – Noelle 7
Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken – Elaine age 5
Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day – Mary Ann age 4
You really shouldnât say âI love youâ unless you mean it, But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget – Jessica age 8
 Perhaps the best example of love wasnât something that was said, but done. Leo Buscaglia shared this special moment he witnessed:
A four year old child had an elderly gentleman as a next door neighbour who had recently lost his wife.  Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentlemanâs yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there.  When his mother asked what he had said to the neighbour, the little boy said âNothing, I just helped him cryâ.
For me, love is an action.  Itâs about moving toward rather than moving away.  Itâs about staying present, even when itâs uncomfortable.  Itâs about patiently waiting through silence, until emotions can form.
Love is what keeps us whole, allows us to heal, giving the walk forward meaning.
Warm thoughts and lots of love on this Valentineâs Day,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
âI got you a delicious cake,â said the mole âDid you?â âYesâ âWhere is it?â âI ate it,â said the mole âOhâ âBut I got you another.â âDid you? Where is that one?â âThe same thing seems to have happened.âÂ
-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy Â
Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do.   Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong. Â
Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary.Â
âWhat if I say the wrong thing? What if I donât belong?â  Or even worse, âWhat if I say something that injures someone?â Â
Being in group is about meeting people where they are at.  Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed.  We arenât supposed to all be the same. We donât always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.
I can promise you one thing …we wonât eat your cake!  Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Isnât it odd. We can only see our outsides, but nearly everything happens on the inside. – The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
If people could see us, truly see usâŠwhat would they think?  Would they see honour, integrity, courage, and loyalty?  Or would peeking behind the curtain reveal things that we may be hesitant to acknowledge: sadness, exhaustion, guilt and loneliness.  Â
Anger is the easy emotion- the suit of armour-  but itâs not what lies underneath. Â
What strikes me, is that we wouldnât feel the hard feelings if the good ones werenât also true. We canât feel guilt or shame if we donât have integrity We canât feel loneliness if we havenât known teamwork. We canât feel fatigue if we havenât worked hard. We canât truly know sadness if we havenât known love. We are all these things.Â
Perfect is overrated.  Itâs the knocks and bruises that make us real.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
âWhat is the bravest thing youâve ever said?â asked the boy. âHelpâ said the horse. âWhen have you been at your strongest?â Asked the boy âWhen I have dared to show my weaknessâ
The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
 I used to belief courage was about doing things that involved incredible risk:  Running into burning buildings; putting oneself into the line of fire; more recently caring for those with contagious diseases. Â
These are indeed acts of courage.
What I have learned to appreciate though, is a quieter more invisible form of courage.  Itâs the force that motivates us to speak when itâs easier to remain silent.  To stand up and be seen when we can blend in or remain invisible.  To ask for help when in many ways itâs less effort to simply carry on.
Asking for help may be one of the hardest and most courageous things we can do.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The wonderful thing about starting a New Year is that itâs a fresh start. Â
This is the time of year when we reflect on whoâve weâve been this past year, and who we want to be in the year ahead.  The ritual of making New Yearâs resolutions is a cultural tradition that normalizes the act of publically declaring our intention to change- identifying the ways in which we hope to grow, and asking those around us to support us.Â
Implicit in this is the notion that change is more likely to occur when we donât do it alone
The trick is starting small and doing it in good company.  Together, weâve got this.
Consider making us part of your change. Give us a call to see which programs might be best for you. Thereâs always room for one more.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
