Itâs belief that many people with PTSD hold. A wish that somehow, they could have/should have done more. Itâs only by seeing the enormity of a problem that we are able to truly appreciate how big it is. Suddenly our efforts feel small.
Those who are injured in war or times of conflict tend to be quite silent about their experiences. So deep runs the shame that they wanted to do more. Recently a veteran shared a wonderful Helen Hayes quote with me:
We relish stories of our heroes, forgetting that we are extraordinary to someone too.
If you were injured in service to your country, whether at home or overseas, you have been part of a united contribution that defines the Canada we are proud to call home. We can never truly know how efforts may have shaped our lives. Your contributions did matter, and you are someoneâs hero.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
This Halloween, I was scheduled to attend a lunch time meeting at Kingâs-Edgehill School. Traditionally, the school makes a very big deal of HalloweenâŠEVERYONE dresses up. Wanting to be part of the fun, I decided to wear a costume. Unfortunately, what I didnât know was that the school had their dress up day the previous week.
Imagine my dismay when I found myself in full Star Trek costume surrounded by a sea of students in uniforms.
I too was in uniform, only it was from wrong planet.
Somehow, this wasnât the way I imagined this would play out.
The incidental bonus to the day is that I realized everyone I encountered was eager to join the fun. On seeing my costume, Lezlee and Jen, our Office Admin staff, ran out to Dollarama to get fun costumes and a treat bowl. Everyone smiled when greeted by a witch and a cat in the reception. Clients greeted me in the lobby with the traditional Klingon hand signals and greetings.
As the day progressed, I forgot that I was in costume, but the smiles and jokes from others reminded me that we all enjoy an excuse to laugh together.
When people feel joyful, they break into spontaneous play.
Small acts of fun truly do spark joy.
Maybe thatâs the take-away from my day. Live long, laugh and prosper
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itâs often much easier to notice what weâre doing wrong, rather than what weâre doing right. Military and first responder roles rely on critical analysis of potential shortfalls in order to maximize safety.Â
Even when our actions are not motivated by the desire for recognition, itâs always satisfying to know when we got it right or that our efforts are making a difference.Â
The problem of focusing on our missteps and passing over successes, however small they might be, is that is fosters a bias to overlook the good when we are confronted with challenges.
I like to think of the person who came up with the idea of building the first boat. They may have thrown many items in the water and examined what made them sink, but chances are they spent more time examining what made things float in order to come up with the winning formula. It can often be easier to focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths. But how much healthier would we be if we mastered the habit of noticing what we do well?
How might your day be different if the focus was on all the little things you are doing that are having a positive impact? Can you identify three in this moment?
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Triggers or glimmers? Itâs all a matter of attention
PTSD is a condition where our central nervous systems are constantly scanning for potential threats. Itâs our brainsâ way of keeping us safe. The problem is, itâs easy to miss the good stuff. By hyper-focusing on danger, we overlook signs of safety.
We may have a good sense of triggers, those are the people, places or things that create a sense of danger or unease. In contrast, Trauma Specialist Deb Dana introduced the term glimmer to describe experiences that foster a sense of safety. Glimmers are small moments that help shift our system towards calm.Â
This month in our Maintaining Health group, we worked on recognizing Glimmers. Itâs really about intention. Noticing both sides of the equation.
Hurricane Fiona created challenges for many. It also brought out the best as communities bonded together to help one another. A tree may have fallen on my veranda, but the plentiful rain produced the best crop of carrots I have ever had. Iâve never seen such abundance. Thatâs my glimmer.
If you catch yourself focusing on the threat or problem, take a mindful moment to balance the equation. Notice the simple things that bring you peace: the crisp fall air, colourful leaves, or pumpkin people dancing on the lawns of Kentville.
Donât forget to enjoy the glimmers.
Warm Regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Last night marked the launch of our first Date Night series. Can I take a moment to tell you how wonderful it was sharing the evening with twelve wonderful people who jumped in to be led by Kara Lister Wade as we created shadow boxes of favorite memories. What a treat to meet the significant others of our Landing Strong community. We were offered glimpses into peopleâs favorite moments, sharing details of positive experiences. Twinkle lights, delectable treats and candlelight transformed the space, rounded out by laughter, creativity and good company. Special thanks to Mackenzie for her beautiful charcuterie boxes and assorted sweets. Most remarkable to me was the distance people travelled in order to attend. Two couples drove from three hours away, one couple drove 90 minutes to be there, a few were an hour drive away and one lived locally: such was their commitment to attend. I canât help but reflect on the specialness of the evening, and the residual warmth I am experiencing as a result of it.
Next month weâll be having Chinese food. Please let us know your favorite dish if you are planning on coming. Kara will lead us through a new journey of creativity. These events are for couples, partners or close friends.
Wishing you all a restful and rejuvenating weekend.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
How do you define resilience? Many might think of a titanium vest that deflects bullets or adversity: a protective shell that protects from harm.
Recently, I have come to understand resiliency as something softer, sweeter.
Itâs the ability to work through emotions rather than shutting them down.
To be able to slow down time when the world around us is speeding up.
Itâs about making space to really talk and listen to the people who are important to us, asking for what we need and learning to be emotionally present without judgement.
The work of resiliency happens behind close doors, in sharing circles.
Injured Veterans and First Responders often complain that they are too quick to experience sadness. They view it as evidence of injury since they used to be able to âturn their emotions off.â Me, I view it as a sign of recovery. Emotional availability is resiliency starting to take shape.
A wise First Responder recently shared a Thomas Edison quote with me that captures the notion of resiliency quite succinctly: Most people miss opportunity and look over it because they don’t recognize it looks like overalls and hard work.
Together, we âll strap on our coveralls and not be afraid to stir up some dust. Ultimately thatâs what allows clarity.
But itâs not all about hard work. We also need to have fun. Weâre excited to announce the launch of our new program Date Night. Itâs a chance to reconnect with the fun, playful side of yourself and enjoy a stress-free evening with a close friend or partner. Join us for an evening of creativity, conversation and connection. The first Date Night starts on Thursday, October 13th from 6-9 pm. Thanks to the support of Employment and Social Development Canada, there is no fee for this program. Light refreshments are provided.
We are also registering participants for our second round of Creating Confidence Clarifying Strengths, scheduled to start November 1, 2022. This feel-good program is receiving rave reviews and has no fee thanks to the generous funding of ACOA.
