The Holidays can be a difficult time for many, with increased expectations around social engagements, drinking, crowds and overindulgences. What if we simply focus on what the holiday spirit truly means. No matter what our spiritual beliefs may be, it’s a time when people come together to celebrate, offer support to one another, and reflect on the passing year.
It’s undeniably a time of year where shopping, preparing elaborate meals, and commercialism seemingly take over. It’s also true that almost half of all charitable donations made by Canadians happen in the last two months of the year. This suggests that despite the stress associated with the season, it’s a time when people are thinking of those who face more challenging circumstances.
In the midst of one of the busiest times of the year, we are able to set aside our differences and recognize our shared humanity. When people are spending the most and perhaps are feeling the stress of their financial state, they recognize that this discomfort isn’t temporary for many. When they are surrounded by those they love, thoughts turn to those who may not be as fortunate.
We hope you’re able to take some time over the holidays to reflect on all the small things that are meaningful to you in your life. We are grateful for our connection with you, our sense of shared purpose as we support those who are injured, and our appreciation for those who continue to put themselves in harm’s way so we may be safe.
Warmest wishes for a safe and happy holiday season,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
High performance athletes can’t always do what’s expected. Occasionally, they might have a minor sprain or injury that needs nurturing. In the case of a major setback, they might be on the sidelines for a longer period of time. This doesn’t mean they aren’t a top performer. It simply means that no matter what we’re good at, or what we’re trying to work on, none of us can be good at it all of the time.
Sometimes when we have a setback, it might be easy to doubt whether we’ve made any progress at all.
“Maybe the good mood I had last month wasn’t real…”
“I feel like I’m back at square one”
“I thought I was doing so much better, what does it mean now that I’m really struggling?”
As in any journey, the path has peaks and valleys. The emotions you feel at any one point in time will never be a constant. True, the good times will pass… but so will the bad.
The most important thing to remember in those moments of self-doubt is that’s the time to reach out. It’s totally counter-intuitive, but a certain way to turn things around quickly. When we most want to retreat, that’s actually when we need to advance.
Don’t wait until you’re feeling good to join one of our groups… it would be a very empty room if we all took that approach. Take a look at the programs we’re offering in the new year and see if there’s one that seems right for you. There’s a seat waiting for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
They say courage is born on the battlefield. That may be true, but I think just as often it arises in the aftermath, when we work to face our emotions. Anyone in a service profession knows about putting a “game face” on. You know it, showing no fear even when you are about to walk into a situation that is dangerous, frightening or threatening. Joe Frazier knew it when walked into the ring to face Muhammad Ali, arguably one of the greatest boxers of all time. Ali had a total of 56 professional wins, 37 of them by knockout. So when Frazier walked in the ring, he likely knew that he had a 50% chance of being knocked unconscious. Yet he did it anyway.
Shoving our emotions aside in times of distress is important and often necessary. It allows us to remain functional. The challenge is knowing when and how to take our game face off, and look deeper to discover what it is that we are actually feeling.
In treatment groups I’ve had Special Forces Members, Police, RCMP, Firefighters, Paramedics, EOD Techs, Corrections Officers and Trauma Counsellors say the same thing. Coming to treatment was one of the hardest, but most important things they have ever done.
So perhaps courage does take many forms. The obvious ones, and the more invisible form as we all come together to regroup, recalibrating our central nervous systems, and reclaiming important aspects of self that may have been lost along the way.
In my mind, that is indeed the face of courage.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Okay, so maybe I was not perfect this week. Pretty good at work, but a bit on the grouchy side with my husband [sorry Joe]. I think something I was worried about spilled over into the home front. We talked it out, and all is good now. I’m reminded of the importance of repair. If I’ve done something thoughtless, it’s easier to allow time and distance to heal rather than having those difficult conversations. But in the spirit of Karmic correctness, it’s always better to face up to those times when we have faltered.
I heard the expression “I’m fixing my Karma” the other day, and loved it because it makes the assumption we are all works in progress. Walking, running, stumbling, and then getting back up again, dusting off, and trying to find our stride. I want to work not just on forgiveness for others, but also forgiveness for myself.
Each day, we all do our best. Perhaps that’s more than enough.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
I started reading Michelle Obama’s book Becoming this weekend, and was reminded that unless I have walked in someone’s shoes, I really have no way of knowing what they’ve been through. Michelle speaks kindly of her stern and humourless Aunt Robbie who lived on floor below Michelle’s family. If young Michelle and her brother Craig got too wound up, Aunt Robbie let them know:
Aunt Robbie would flick the light switch on our shared stairwell, controlling the lightbulb in our upstairs hallway, off and on, again and again- her polite-ish was of telling us to pipe down.
Michelle’s parents took this in stride, reminding the children that even if they didn’t know the context, they were instructed to remember that context existed.
Everyone on earth, they’d tell us, was carrying around an unseen history, and that alone deserved some tolerance.
What incredible wisdom, to remember this simple fact. If someone does something rude or thoughtless, I can assume it’s deliberate. Alternatively, I can remind myself that I don’t know what’s been happening in their day, or what kind of life they’ve had. I can tell myself that that seemingly unkind action may simply be out of context.
So the next time someone cuts you off in traffic, or is rude to you in line, it may help to send a request to the universe that their day will get better. Wish them a bit of happiness in what may be a difficult day.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
I like to take Thanksgiving literally. A time for reflection, and gratitude.
The internet and news remind us that there’s a lot wrong with the world. This weekend I plan to turn it off. Instead, I want to think of the many things that I’m thankful for.
Simple things, nothing earthshattering…
A perfect latte on a cold day
The tantalizing smell of a roasting turkey
The good company of family and friends
Sun rays glistening off a water’s surface
The cry of a newborn baby
Crisp fall air and brilliantly coloured trees.
Picking perfect apples on a sunny Saturday morning.
Join me in thoughts of gratitude and plenty, Warm thoughts and Happy Thanksgiving
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
