Have you ever noticed the expression on people’s faces when they’re riding the subway? It’s a specific look: slack face, eyes downcast staring intently at an imaginary object on the floor. Some people wear ear buds, some read their digital novels, others close their eyes and escape to their thoughts to pass the time. There’s something about being in transit that’s uncomfortable. We’re willing to endure it, because it doesn’t last and it’s taking us somewhere we want to be. Like an ill-fitting coat, we’ll put up with it temporarily because we know that, in a short time, we’ll be able to take it off and be somewhere better.
If you’re feeling a bit uncomfortable with the spot you’re in, know that it’s normal. It can feel like a long dark tunnel, where you’re impatiently waiting to get to your destination. It’s good to remind ourselves that any good trip has periods of discomfort. It’s the nature of transit. Don’t let it scare you. It’s worth the journey.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
On the surface, a young seedling looks fragile. In fact, it has likely spent a good deal of energy and time growing roots, and building strength even before it breaks the earth’s surface.
Trauma recovery is like that. Chances are, a great deal of growth happens even before anyone notices. When people come for their first group session or counselling appointment, they have usually started a change process even before walking through the door. Merely deciding to make a change is a step in the right direction.
You may be unsure if you are ready to join a group, but the fact that you are starting to think about it is evidence that you may be further along than you think. Some people may get a new plant and think it is just beginning. In truth, we know that it has already had to prove it’s resilience by making it this far.
We invite you to imagine how it might feel to sit in a group with others who understand what it took for you to get here, as they have had to do the same.
A strand of trees grows stronger than a single seedling.
This fall we are offering a number of groups. Something for everyone, irrespective of where they are in their recovery.
If you’re thinking you may be ready to join a group this September, give us a call.
We’d love to hear from you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Today is the day things start to return to normal. The dawn of a new beginning. Stores will open. We can go out for dinner again. Heck if I’m lucky I may even score a haircut in the near future.
When we are faced with threat, it’s normal to be hesitant to step back out there.
It’s like falling off a horse… it can be hard to get back on. The problem is, if we don’t, it will be hard to get back into a normal routine. A natural recovery curve happens after any traumatic exposure. It’s natural to want to hide in order to keep ourselves safe, but we will never really know that the danger has passed until we leave our rabbit holes. It’s only by putting ourselves out there, that we are able to know that we can experience new things without negative consequences.
If we avoid going out, we never learn that it’s safe. That’s when we get stuck.
So I encourage you to go out. Do it safely, of course, practicing social distancing and proper health precautions. But take the steps necessary to restore a semblance of normalcy to your life.
Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise. Laugh with a neighbour. Share a meal with a friend.
The trouble with traumatic memories is that we play the same internal tape over and over again. Like an LP on repeat, they seldom vary. We get stuck in a loop that doesn’t allow us to see things through a different lens. If we keep our thoughts and feelings inside, they don’t shift.
That’s why I love group work. It’s hard, to be sure, but the insights and reflections of others allow us to see ourselves in a different light. Experiences that might originally have been terrifying, can transform to courageous in the retelling.
There is a traditional Lakota expression that says “Healing takes place in the spaces between people.”
No truer words were ever spoken. I’d like to take my hat off to the twenty courageous men and women who recently successfully completed the Emotions Management and Healthy Living programs. Even with the multiple layers of challenge going on in Nova Scotia, they stepped forward, ready to tackle material that has for years kept them from living their fullest lives. They started the process of reshaping history in the retelling. It was a unique experience to be sure, to be processing, in real time, layers of trauma as it unfolded in our province.
Congratulations as well to twenty new people who have stepped forward for the Trauma Recovery and Body and Mind Health and Recovery programs. The world may be on pause, but there’s a powerful, strong group of you moving forward.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Many people I’ve talked to recently complain about the challenge of feeling unmotivated. It seems they’re working twice as hard as usual, less than usual, or having to balance a full work load while co-habitating an overcrowded house. The consistent theme is that they don’t feel motivated.
I often think of my working life as blocks of concentrated energy punctuated by tantalizing rewards. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but I love it even more when I know there is a vacation coming, or a family outing. Or even a simple night out with friends at the movies or local pub.
The strange thing about time recently is that many days feel the same. Excitement consists of the sun coming out, or having time to work the garden in the evening. Such is life.
Today I noticed a few businesses starting to open their doors. It felt like spring was finally here. Perhaps we’ll all catch that forward momentum as we look ahead.
If you’re looking to boost your energy and motivation, check out our new on-line course starting next Friday: Mind/Body Health and Recovery. A holistic look at getting better. Each day, we’ll spend time checking in with each person to see how they’re doing, and do some fun exercises with Dr. Adrienne Wood to learn how making a few simple changes can have a profound impact on health. Sleep better, look better…feel better. I’m in.
Now that’s something to look forward to. Hope to see you there! We still have few seats left.
Have you ever placed a glass upside down in the sink while washing dishes? Sometimes, it gets stuck. A powerful force of suction holds it to the bottom. If you are able to pry it up, water rushes in, quickly filling the vacuum or void that was created.
Most of us are experiencing significant upheaval in our lives due to COVID-19. The hustle and bustle of daily routine is replaced by a strange new reality. Maybe you are trying to work but struggling to find a quite space to do so. Perhaps you have not been able to work or pursue your regular daily activities and find yourself stuck at home more than you would like. One of the challenges we face is knowing how to intentionally fill the time so the default isn’t just whatever happens to be close by. Hmmm, the gym is closed, so I’ll get a snack instead. You see where I’m going with this?
If we are not intentional about how we spent our time, we run the risk of the vacuum being filled by whatever happens to be around. It might be video games, Netflix marathons, excessive eating, alcohol consumption or cannabis use. Maybe you normally go out and socialize, but now you are finding yourself stuck at home.
There has never before been a better time for intentional living. What is that you might ask? It’s the idea of structuring your day so that it falls in line with your values and beliefs. It ensures you are doing what you can to feel pleased with the way you’ve spent your time.
Me, I’ve increased my creative time. I’m painting up a storm, having fun replicating beautiful patterns on rocks. I am starting a series called “Napkin prints”, copying beautiful patterns from napkins onto smooth rocks that I found at the beach. It gets me outside rock hunting, and is both relaxing and enjoyable copying beautiful pictures while listening to great tunes. Simple mindful practices such as this can go a long way towards restoring calm and a sense of order in a chaotic time. I’ve made a short video to show you, which I’ll post below. For those of you interested in learning more, we still have a few spots in our Healthy Living program, starting April 16. Instead of meeting at our office, all of our courses will be offered online, and we’ll arrange for you to have a box of supplies needed in advance. No fears, we are quarantining our supplies as we speak to ensure that they are germ free, both after we purchase them, and before sending them to you. Even though these groups are being held virtually, spaces will remain limited.
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
