What do we regret?

What do we regret?

by | Jun 17, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Love, Resilience

What do we regret?

Looking back on my life, there are definitely things I wish I’d done differently.  Had I known up front the consequences of some decisions I made, I may have chosen another path.   

Hmmm…would I have chosen to work in the federal penitentiary?  That’s a big one. 

The thing is, I like who I am now.  I understand people’s struggles because I too have been there.   

I’m the bi-product of all decisions made to this point in time, good and bad. I’ve survived even my most human moments. 

Maya Angelou stated: 

      I can be changed by what happens to me.  But I refuse to be reduced by it. 

Instead of having regrets, let’s choose to celebrate the wisdom we gain from our experiences. Cherish our scars and the stories they tell.  

With forgiveness, and acceptance, we rise together.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The courage to forgive

The courage to forgive

by | Jun 10, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Resilience

The courage to forgive

I’ve been working in the field of trauma for close to thirty years: in women’s shelters, the federal penitentiary system, hospitals, schools and community. In all the dark spaces and all of the dark places, one universal truth I’ve come to understand is that healing and compassion are closely intertwined. Anger and shame anchor us to the past, whereas forgiveness and self-compassion pave the way forward. When we live in anger, we allow others to control the narrative of our journey. There’s incredible freedom in letting go.


Martin Luther King Jr. understood this when he wrote:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


Desmond Tutu states:

Forgiveness is not weak. It takes incredible courage to face and overcome powerful emotions.


Next Thursday, our Maintaining Health Program is going to explore the freedom that accompanies compassion and forgiveness.

If you’ve taken a previous program, you’re welcome to join. Just drop us a line so that we know you’re coming. 

We also still have spots left in the Navigating Next Steps Program Series, starting this Tuesday. Creating Confidence and Clarifying Strengths runs for five weeks. It is designed to build trust and confidence, identify strengths and re-affirm values that are most important.

We look forward to seeing you.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Celebration of Unsung Heroes

Celebration of Unsung Heroes

by | Jun 3, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Gratitude, Resilience

Celebration of Unsung Heroes

Last week we held a celebration for veteran and first responders who have completed The Landing Strong Foundation and Work Force Reintegration Programs. We worked hard to make the event special, but I must confess I was holding my breath, not knowing how many people would come. Turns out, the day was a resounding success, with more than 40 veterans and first responders attending, many of whom brought family members.

A few highlights of the day included guests being greeted by grade six members of the 254 King’s-Edgehill School Highland Cadet Corps under the direction of Major Keith Hynes; being treated to heartfelt renditions of “You are not alone” and “This is me” by the King’s-Edgehill School choir, led by Stephanie Fillman; and most importantly, the presentation of our graduates, thanked by Board Chair Chrystal Fuller and MP Kody Blois.

Before coming, many of our graduates voiced a concern that they did not feel like heroes, they were simply people who did their jobs. I pointed out that we were not celebrating the work they did in the past in their official roles (although that certainly contained many heroic moments), but rather, the ongoing heroic work they are doing now in recovery. As our celebrated guests listened to the contribution of other members of their community, it was impossible for them not to realize that they were part of a very special and unique group of highly skilled professionals who had dedicated their entire lives to the safety, health and protection of country and community. All are continuing to give, continually asking themselves the question “How can I help?” It felt a bit like a superhero convention that we had the privilege of attending.

Veteran’s Affairs Minister Lawrence MacAulay, PC, MP has been a firm supporter of Landing Strong. Although he was unable to attend in person, he sent his best wishes to “our country’s brave women and men in uniform, who have sacrificed so much so that we can live in a more peaceful world.

Regarding his recent visit to Landing Strong he added:

“I would also like to thank the group of Veterans who attended that evening for sharing their stories and experiences. All Canadians owe them a debt of gratitude for their dedicated service to our nation, and my department is committed to supporting their mental well-being.”

Alan Doyle from the Dollar A Day Foundation also sent his best, congratulating our graduates for their dedicated service.

We are happy to celebrate our Spring Program Graduates, whether they were able to come that day or not and look forward to future community events and celebrations.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Hope for the future

Hope for the future

by | May 20, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Friday Inspiration, Recovery, Resilience

Hope for the future

One of the biggest challenges we can face following injury is determining how to best fit into our old lives. Picking up where we left off usually isn’t possible. Knowing how to contribute and feel as though we’re still of use can feel confusing.

As people recover, they start a process of gently exploring meaningful ways to stay connected to the things they love, without becoming re-injured. I have had discussions with many veterans, police officers, paramedics, and firefighters regarding strategies for re-involvement that do not involve further trauma exposure. What many have found is that their knowledge of safety, procedures and training runs rich and deep. Many have decades of experience.

Instead of figuring how to reinsert oneself into an old role, it might be helpful to consider the question: “How can I help train the next generation to practice safely and effectively.”

You possess specialized knowledge of equipment, procedures, and operation of million-dollar vehicles. This is incredibly valuable.

When you’re ready for community involvement, there’s a place for you. It’s just a matter figuring out the best fit. If your frontal lobe still feels off-line, no worries, with time, memory and clarity of thought will return. Procedural memories will be second nature again. You may not be wearing the same uniform, but the strengths that defined you are a constant, it’s just a matter of rediscovering them.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Hope is just around the corner

Hope is just around the corner

by | May 26, 2021 | Balance, Friday Inspiration, Resilience, Support

There they are.  Crocuses, snowdrops and daffodils, pushing their way to sunlight, oblivious of everything that has transpired during this past year. 

With reassuring predictability and beauty, they remind us that hope is just around the corner.

Stay the course.  

Take a moment to breathe in the fresh fragrance.

Notice the rich colours.

Like prickly bears after a long hibernation we’re eager to be roaming freely.  Reconnecting with long lost family and friends.  I vow to remain patient, tolerant and kind, grateful for the vaccinations that will once again return a semblance of normalcy to our lives.

Giving thanks to all those who have worked so tirelessly to keep us fed, healthy and safe.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

What if we were royalty?

What if we were royalty?

by | Mar 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, PTSD, Resilience, Support

Recently I’ve been enjoying the television series The Crown, and find my thoughts returning to a scene where Queen Mary explains to her granddaughter the young Queen Elizabeth, the importance of remaining impartial: 

“To do nothing is the hardest job of all. And it will take every ounce of energy that you have. To be impartial is not natural, not human. People will always want you to smile or agree or frown and the minute you do, you will have declared a position, a point of view…and that is the one thing as Sovereign that you are not entitled to do.”  “Well that’s fine for the Sovereign… but where does that leave me?” Queen Elizabeth responds sadly.
 
It strikes me this conversation is not limited to royalty. Many of us are in service related professions where we routinely perform duties that may not be in line with personal beliefs or preferences.  Putting on a “game face” is part of the job, and a display of emotion can compromise our ability to do so effectively.  

Soldiers are asked to go onto the battlefield, defending a cause they may not believe in. They do not have the privilege of evaluating whether they want to advance when ordered to do so.

Police are asked to place themselves in the midst of violent situations, working to protect those who, a moment earlier, may have been threatening them.

Paramedics repeatedly respond to calls at the same house for drug overdoses.

To be of service means, by definition, to put our needs aside and tend to those of others.  There comes a time, though, when we need to put ourselves first.  Recognizing what we are experiencing, and finding a safe place to work through the emotional residue.

Only then do we truly care for ourselves.  Separate and distinct from the work we do.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong