Fall on the East Coast is a time of predictably volatile weather. As Mother Nature unleashes Hurricane Fiona upon us, we batten down the hatches, gather our Storm Chips, and hope the power isnāt off for too long. We lost part of our house to Dorian. Like a whale floundering in the surf, our roof was harpooned by falling tree limbs, and our side entrance completely flattened. I trust weāll fare better this time around.
On Saturday Iām supposed to be presenting at a First Responders Conference in Bridgewater. Somehow I donāt think thatās going to happenā¦youāll all be busy.
Our community is fantastic for emergency preparedness and lending a helping hand. I know many of our first responders will likely be out there battling the elements and its consequences over the next day or so. We send a mental note of thanks on behalf of us all. While we are staying warm and dry inside, we know that you are likely out there working hard to keep us safe.
Warm wishes on a wet cool day,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
These are complicated times, and weāre all facing increased levels of uncertainty. Background stress is much higher than usual and it may be harder to unwind at the end of the day. Here are three quick tips to help keep you right side up:
Do less
Instead of opting for a complete home renovation, try doing a jigsaw puzzle while listening to your favorite music. Take joy in simple things: like the satisfaction of a perfectly chopped pile of wood, or teaching your dog a new trick. āLess is moreā is the new mantra as we work to keep ourselves in balance.
Just say ānoā to social overload
Factor this increased stress load into your decision making when deciding how much to take on. This is a time for increased boundary setting. Do you really want a three hour zoom family reunion following a week overloaded with on line meetings? Consider dropping in for just a brief time or opting instead for simple in-person social gatherings like coffee with a friend. Get comfortable thanking people for invitations, but letting them know you are focussing on self-care and re-charging during down time.
Limit screen time.
Ā If your sleep is disrupted, itās a sign that youāre brain isnāt getting the relax time it needs.Ā Ā Zoom gatherings and online meetings are more mentally fatiguing than seeing people in person.Ā Ā Try picking a completely junky novel to browse through before sleeping.Ā Ā Enjoy a long soak in the tub or flip through your latest car magazine.Ā Ā Consider having technology free weekends, and please, take off your watch that sends emails to you 24/7.Ā Ā Your central nervous system will thank you. Ā If you are thinking of making changes on a larger scale, consider joining ourĀ Healthy LivingĀ program starting in November.Ā Ā Youāll have a chance to reflect on what is most important to you, ensuring the life youāre living is the one you want.Ā
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Last weekend, I took some time to sit on our cottage deck, soaking in the last few rays of summer. Thereās always something a bit sad about Labour Day weekend.Ā Ā Like all good things, summer must come to an end.Ā Ā Joe and I enjoyed some bruschetta, made with tomatoes purchased at the local farmerās market and basil harvested from our garden. We took the time to savour the rich flavour of the food in front of us, enjoying the stillness of the lake and the calmness of the moment.
Itās so easy to get caught up in the busyness of daily life, forgetting to slow down and savour the colours, smells and textures around us.Ā Ā Autumn is a particularly good time for this.Ā Ā I invite you to take photos of the natural beauty around you.Ā Ā Capture a shot of something that settles you: something that bring you peace. Take a moment to write a line about what makes it special and send it to Mackenzie atĀ mseagram@landingstrong.com.Ā Ā
Let us know if youād like to remain anonymous or if we can acknowledge your first name and weāll share your inspirations on our social media channels.Ā
Many hearts beating together make us stronger.
Warm regards,Ā
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
āIām tired of feeling bad about myself. How can I learn to feel better?ā
Itās a great question, and is likely a challenge that has faced us all at some point in our lives.
Personally, I think low self-esteem is the result of high expectations.
Weāre all good at some things, and not so good at others.
Low self-esteem happens when we think we should be good at everything.
Those of you who struggle with addictions likely can relate. Addictions arenāt the result of expecting too little. Itās usually about expecting too much and feeling frustrated with ourselves when we donāt measure up.
So my word for the week is compassion.
Are you able to take a moment to appreciate those things you do well?
Try practicing compassion with yourself in those areas that youāre not strong at. No one gets better when they are being yelled at. Our inner critic can have the loudest and most disabling voice of all.
You may know that you love deeply, and care deeply, but not actually know how to communicate that to others. Instead of focussing on those things we canāt do, and feeling badly, I encourage you to notice your areas of strength, building on them so you have the confidence to work on those things that are still āin development.ā
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itās a funny thing sitting down at a computer, composing thoughts that will be sent out into the universe.Ā Who are you I wonder?Ā What are you thinking? What are you feeling?Ā Will I be able to write something that will make a difference in moments when you may feel tired or alone? Am I able to offer something that is helpful, or simply bring a smile?Ā Normally, when I go out for coffee with a friend, I rely on my companions feedback to let me know how the conversation is going.Ā It may be a smile, a glint in the eye, or a shared confession of the soul.
But when I look at my computer screen, itās different. I imagine you, my on-line friends, busy in your lives, squeezing a quiet moment for yourself so that we might connect and hopefully find points of convergence in our lives. Itās those quiet moments of reflection that cherish, opportunities to dip into the well that nourishes us.
I think today Iād like to make you a cuppa tea, and offer you a freshly baked cookie. Thereās something about the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies that feels like home. Because theyāre virtual, theyāre calorie free, so you can enjoy as many as you like! Please sit with me as I welcome you into my heart.
Next week Joe and I are off for a well needed break in the Dominican Republic. My main goal is movement. Thatās it, allowing my body to go anywhere or do anything without fear of time constraints. I donāt know about you but for me, one of the biggest challenges of aging is range of motion. If I donāt move enough, I lose myself. Weāre taking our inflatable paddle boards so that we might explore and dip to the tune of our internal rhythms. By the time you get this blog, Iāll likely be out there, floating in the crystalline Caribbean. Iāll take a piece of you with me, and think of you all as I connect with the sun, the sand, the ocean breeze, and my quiet self. Thank you for enriching my community. For although I may be miles away, I know we are still connected.
Thanks as well to those of you who have offered comments and feedback, it means a great deal and helps guide the next discussion.
āGet comfortable being uncomfortableā was the suggestion that my friend and business coach, Eleanor Beaton, gave me this week. She was speaking to me about the importance of pushing ourselves toward new things, even when they are challenging or intimidating.
I discussed this topic in a previous blog, when describing my experience in yoga class. It was reassuring to be reminded that itās normal to feel uncomfortable. Looking forward, I think Iām in for a long period of it. Instead of embracing the growing pains, I feel like a character in an Alfred Hitchcock film who is trying to get comfortable while lying on a bed of nails. Itāll take time and practice; some things just canāt be rushed.
There are many new and exciting changes going on, each one introducing new fears or worries.Ā Will we receive funding to start the 3 month program soon? Will the next PTSD Hero Comic be well received? Are the messages we are sending out on social media having a positive impact? Will we get the next grant application in on time?
To get through this time, I tell myself this is not a permanent state. I remind myself of the importance of self-care, making a point of taking a step back when I am feeling overwhelmed.Ā Most importantly, I rely on good friends and a hot tea to remind me Iām not doing it alone.
Weāre taking a huge leap of faith, and creating something innovative and exciting. We feel honoured that you are with us, by being part of our virtual community. With each new addition to our email list, our community has grown by one. Every time you share posts, you help us to spread the word and expand our community. For as you know, it isnāt just a community for those who are injured. It is also for those who are supporting them, or cheering from the sidelines. We are in a marathon of recovery, and even the person who hands out water, or shares the word is part of a wave of social change. There is strength in numbers
Keep telling us what you think. If you have ideas or issues you would like addressed, feel free to send them to us directly at info@landingstrong.com.Ā We love to hear from you!
