Things don’t always turn out the way you expect

Things don’t always turn out the way you expect

by | Aug 12, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Mindfulness, Resilience

Things don’t always turn out the way you expect 

Last winter I wrote of my dream of making blue beans almondine with beans grown from my garden. I’m happy to report that I was able to harvest the beans this week, but the dish did not quite materialize as imagined.

When I cooked them, the brilliant blue colour vanished, and I was left with a pot of plain ol’ green legumes.

At first I felt incredibly disappointed. With a moment’s reflection, I realized what had happened was quite special. The beans may no longer be blue, but they are magic!

When any of us are in a period of change or transition, it’s easy to be self critical if we don’t turn out as expected. I encourage you to examine more deeply the magic that might be stirring within. You may be in the process of becoming something brilliant, but not yet recognize your final destination. Chances are, it won’t be what you expected.

Our Identity and Transition program is quickly filling up.

Call soon to avoid disappointment.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Who are you… really?

Who are you… really?

by | Aug 5, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Resilience

Who are you… really?

To be enlightened is to know oneself -and not run away

– Veronique Vienne
 

It’s not easy knowing who we are beyond the work we take on in life: Military Member, Police Officer, Fire Fighter, Corrections Officer, Health Care Provider. These are all powerful roles, guided by deep- seeded values such as integrity, compassion and service. We all want to make our mark on the world, but this nature of work takes an invisible toll that is often unrecognized for years, even to ourselves.

Now you’ve stopped and are taking stock. What was it that prompted this?

Perhaps you’re more irritable than you used to be.

Or your focus or memory seem off.

You catch yourself tearing up during your children’s TV shows.

Your body has chronic pain that occupies all your thoughts.

These may be your body’s way of signaling that your ready for a change. A step towards assisting yourself rather than always being focussed on helping others.

Check out our fall program line-up and see if there’s something right for you.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The medicine of meditation

The medicine of meditation

by | Jul 29, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Friday's Inspiration, Gratitude, Mindfulness, Resilience

The medicine of meditation

In The Art of Doing Nothing, Veronique Vienne notes the word meditate has the same root as the word medicine.  All you have to do is look at Buddha to know that he is indeed a happy man.  I mean, it takes effort to smile that much.

Clearing our minds of the traffic jam of daily life is no simple feat.  In fact, few people can maintain a calm composure for more than a couple of minutes.  The moment I think I’m getting there, I suddenly remember the grocery items I have to pick up on the way home… or a report I have to write… or what I’m going to have for dinner.

Veronique Vienne writes that, paradoxically, it is when we accept that we can’t meditate that the meditation starts to work.  Instead of being a success-oriented venture, the practice becomes a humble reminder of how difficult it is for any of us to stay in touch with ordinary reality.

My strategy over this next month is to do a small drawing meditation each day.  Many of you have joined in our artistic sessions at Maker’s where we’ve learned to do just that.  The focus isn’t on creating good art.  It’s simply on creating.

How wonderful would it be for us to draw or write together.  Our September Identity and Transition program uses meaningful discussion and creative practices to create opportunities for exploring who you are beyond your uniform.  If you haven’t yet signed up it’s not too late.  Just give us a call or drop Julie a line.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The joy of wandering

The joy of wandering

by | Jul 22, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, joy, Resilience

The joy of wandering

This month, I’m devoting myself to the art of doing nothing. Inspired by a book of the same title by Veronique Vienne, I read about Henry David Thoreau, an American naturalist, poet, and philosopher, who often reflected upon the importance of simple living in natural surroundings:

Thoreau enjoyed rambling aimlessly in the wilderness, in search of leafy sanctuaries. Two or three hours of meandering would carry him to “as strange a country as I ever expect to see.” This approach to walking was what Thoreau called sauntering, a technique he believed was used by French errant knights (the French sans terre means “without land or home”). Itinerant warriors, these freelance saunterers were always on the move, journeying from castle to castle, in search of their next crusade or military assignment. (p. 16)

Over the next two weeks if you look for me, you won’t find me. I’m off sauntering around the Dingle Peninsula in Ireland with Joe. Because we won’t have trusty steeds, our bags, thankfully, will be transported for us. All we have to do each day is walk the 20 kilometers between rest stops. No schedules or deadlines…our only responsibility is to show up at a pre-arranged Inn at the end of each day.

Perfect. I’ve bought sensible hiking shoes, art supplies and a water-proof suit. Guided only by our interests, aversions and curiosity, I’m devoting myself to clearing my mind of all the responsibilities of daily life.

I’ll think of you as I walk, and hope that you too might find some sauntering time in your life.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Seeking to understand

Seeking to understand

by | Jul 15, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Resilience, Wellbeing

Seeking to understand

You know those moments when as soon as you say something, you know it came out wrong?

In group, we have a practice we call a “do over.”

It’s an opportunity to freeze-frame a moment, coming back to it and replaying it, with the opportunity to say things the way we intended. It’s a chance to make sure we are understood.

To allow others to do this, we need to give them the benefit of doubt: assuming that their intentions are honourable, even if their communication may not be great.

I wonder what would happen if our guiding principle became “seek to understand?”

What a different place the world would be.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Who are you now?

Who are you now?

by | Jul 8, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Resilience

Who are you now?

How much of our lives do we spend trying to fit in?

Albert Einstein said, “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live it’s whole life believing that it is stupid.”

When people are affected by Post Traumatic Stress, they often fall into the trap of comparing their current self with their former self.

If you believe you are supposed to be that old version of yourself, you likely also hold the belief that you are broken. You may simply be different.

Is it possible that maybe you’re now a fish that’s just not meant to be climbing a tree?

It may be helpful to ask the following questions:

          Who am I now, and what is most important to me?

          What strengths do I currently possess that my younger self did not have?

          What insights and understanding do I bring to the table now that I did not have before?

We invite you to explore these questions in our fall programs:

Identity and Transition examines who you are beyond the Uniform.

Navigating the Culture Divide is about making a smooth transition from military first responder roles to civilian life.

For those who have previously taken a program with us, stay healthy this summer with our Maintaining Health Program July 14 and August 18, offered in-person for the summer months. Drop us a line or give us a call now to guarantee a seat.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Even old dogs can learn new tricks

Even old dogs can learn new tricks

by | Jul 1, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Resilience

 Even old dogs can learn new tricks

It’s never too late to change. You may surprise yourself.

At first you thought you were destined to walk this path alone.

Now you’re considering company.

You thought you were stuck.

But feel a calling for movement.

Know that there are other ol’dogs ready to join you. We’ll navigate this one together.

Give us a call. Whether you’re starting a new group or jumping back into our Monthly Maintaining Health Program we’d love to see you. July and August Maintaining Health programs are in-person, with a visit to the Windsor Maker’s studio in the afternoon for artistic inspiration.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Dismantling the shame shed

Dismantling the shame shed

by | Jun 24, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Love, Resilience

Dismantling the shame shed

There’s an old shack in the bottom of the garden.  Dilapidated and broken.  Perhaps you know it? 

We’ll call it the shame shed.   A place where it’s oh so easy to go. I’ve spent many a rainy Saturday afternoon there.  It beacons, inviting… 

It has no real use, except to keep us trapped in a Groundhog Day of regret.   

I invite you to dismantle it.   

Let us help you take out old habits to make way for the new. View the world through a different perspective.  

Fall is a great time to sow the seeds of change. Take a peek at the programs we have lined up.  We invite you to plan ahead by giving us a call and/or dropping Julie a line to let her know which programs you’re interested in.  

Identity and Transition: Knowing who you are once the uniform comes off 
(Starts September 9th)

Navigating the Cultural Divide: Mastering how to fit into civilian life 

Creating Confidence & Clarifying Strengths:  Be the best version of you. 

Monthly Maintaining Health Programs: Heath boosters designed to keep you strong. New content each month 
(This program usually runs online, but will be held in-person on July 14th and August 18th only) 

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

What do we regret?

What do we regret?

by | Jun 17, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Love, Resilience

What do we regret?

Looking back on my life, there are definitely things I wish I’d done differently.  Had I known up front the consequences of some decisions I made, I may have chosen another path.   

Hmmm…would I have chosen to work in the federal penitentiary?  That’s a big one. 

The thing is, I like who I am now.  I understand people’s struggles because I too have been there.   

I’m the bi-product of all decisions made to this point in time, good and bad. I’ve survived even my most human moments. 

Maya Angelou stated: 

      I can be changed by what happens to me.  But I refuse to be reduced by it. 

Instead of having regrets, let’s choose to celebrate the wisdom we gain from our experiences. Cherish our scars and the stories they tell.  

With forgiveness, and acceptance, we rise together.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

The courage to forgive

The courage to forgive

by | Jun 10, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Resilience

The courage to forgive

I’ve been working in the field of trauma for close to thirty years: in women’s shelters, the federal penitentiary system, hospitals, schools and community. In all the dark spaces and all of the dark places, one universal truth I’ve come to understand is that healing and compassion are closely intertwined. Anger and shame anchor us to the past, whereas forgiveness and self-compassion pave the way forward. When we live in anger, we allow others to control the narrative of our journey. There’s incredible freedom in letting go.


Martin Luther King Jr. understood this when he wrote:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


Desmond Tutu states:

Forgiveness is not weak. It takes incredible courage to face and overcome powerful emotions.


Next Thursday, our Maintaining Health Program is going to explore the freedom that accompanies compassion and forgiveness.

If you’ve taken a previous program, you’re welcome to join. Just drop us a line so that we know you’re coming. 

We also still have spots left in the Navigating Next Steps Program Series, starting this Tuesday. Creating Confidence and Clarifying Strengths runs for five weeks. It is designed to build trust and confidence, identify strengths and re-affirm values that are most important.

We look forward to seeing you.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong