by Landing Strong | Jul 2, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Friday Inspiration, Recovery
It’s been a few weeks now since we’ve been allowed out and I still can’t get my haircut. Things are returning to normal, but not for me. My roots are exposed, clear as day for everyone to see. I feel vulnerable, and less than my best self.
Everyone around me is looking good while somehow I got left behind. I even know someone who has had his hair cut twice already. How did I end up I the slow lane, I wonder?
In groups, it’s inevitable that some members will recover quickly, while others, who do the exact same programs, may take longer. It’s easy to fall into the comparison game, measuring ourselves by the progress of those around us.
I do have a hair appointment, but it isn’t for three more weeks. I tell myself it’ll be worth the wait. I imagine myself emerging from the salon thrilled and confident with the transformation that will inevitably occur. I hope you can do the same. Do recovery on your time. You do you, and don’t worry about the rest. As long as you keep plugging away, it’ll come…in good time.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Jun 12, 2020 | Anxiety, Belinda's Thoughts, Compassion, Recovery
They may reappear when you least expect it. Just when things were getting better, a symptom returns, reminding you of a past that you had hoped was left behind.
What does it mean when old symptoms reappear?
Even when you’re working hard on your recovery, it’s normal for symptoms to occasionally come back.
It’s really hard to feel like you’re not making forward progress, or that you’re not recovering even though you’re doing the work. But we know that recovery isn’t linear. Our symptoms serve as indicators that our total load has crept up higher than is healthy. By paying attention to it, we are able to examine the areas of our life that need to be addressed.
There’s a lot of background stress these days, so don’t be surprised if the buffer is thin. The amount of stress we can handle under normal conditions isn’t the same as what we can handle during challenging times. Instead of judging ourselves, let’s try to practice compassion. See if there is anything you can do to lighten your load, and remember… this too shall pass.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | Jun 8, 2020 | Anxiety, Belinda's Thoughts, Friday Inspiration, Growth
Today is the day things start to return to normal. The dawn of a new beginning. Stores will open. We can go out for dinner again. Heck if I’m lucky I may even score a haircut in the near future.
When we are faced with threat, it’s normal to be hesitant to step back out there.
It’s like falling off a horse… it can be hard to get back on. The problem is, if we don’t, it will be hard to get back into a normal routine. A natural recovery curve happens after any traumatic exposure. It’s natural to want to hide in order to keep ourselves safe, but we will never really know that the danger has passed until we leave our rabbit holes. It’s only by putting ourselves out there, that we are able to know that we can experience new things without negative consequences.
If we avoid going out, we never learn that it’s safe. That’s when we get stuck.
So I encourage you to go out. Do it safely, of course, practicing social distancing and proper health precautions. But take the steps necessary to restore a semblance of normalcy to your life.
Enjoy the beauty of the sunrise. Laugh with a neighbour. Share a meal with a friend.
Warm regards,
by Landing Strong | Jun 3, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Growth, Recovery, Trauma
The trouble with traumatic memories is that we play the same internal tape over and over again. Like an LP on repeat, they seldom vary. We get stuck in a loop that doesn’t allow us to see things through a different lens. If we keep our thoughts and feelings inside, they don’t shift.
U2’s Bono said it right when he sang about being stuck in a moment that you can’t get out of.
That’s why I love group work. It’s hard, to be sure, but the insights and reflections of others allow us to see ourselves in a different light. Experiences that might originally have been terrifying, can transform to courageous in the retelling.
There is a traditional Lakota expression that says “Healing takes place in the spaces between people.”
No truer words were ever spoken. I’d like to take my hat off to the twenty courageous men and women who recently successfully completed the Emotions Management and Healthy Living programs. Even with the multiple layers of challenge going on in Nova Scotia, they stepped forward, ready to tackle material that has for years kept them from living their fullest lives. They started the process of reshaping history in the retelling. It was a unique experience to be sure, to be processing, in real time, layers of trauma as it unfolded in our province.
Congratulations as well to twenty new people who have stepped forward for the Trauma Recovery and Body and Mind Health and Recovery programs. The world may be on pause, but there’s a powerful, strong group of you moving forward.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | May 26, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Friday Inspiration, Growth
Many people I’ve talked to recently complain about the challenge of feeling unmotivated. It seems they’re working twice as hard as usual, less than usual, or having to balance a full work load while co-habitating an overcrowded house. The consistent theme is that they don’t feel motivated.
I often think of my working life as blocks of concentrated energy punctuated by tantalizing rewards. Don’t get me wrong, I love what I do, but I love it even more when I know there is a vacation coming, or a family outing. Or even a simple night out with friends at the movies or local pub.
The strange thing about time recently is that many days feel the same. Excitement consists of the sun coming out, or having time to work the garden in the evening. Such is life.
Today I noticed a few businesses starting to open their doors. It felt like spring was finally here. Perhaps we’ll all catch that forward momentum as we look ahead.
If you’re looking to boost your energy and motivation, check out our new on-line course starting next Friday: Mind/Body Health and Recovery. A holistic look at getting better. Each day, we’ll spend time checking in with each person to see how they’re doing, and do some fun exercises with Dr. Adrienne Wood to learn how making a few simple changes can have a profound impact on health. Sleep better, look better…feel better. I’m in.
Now that’s something to look forward to. Hope to see you there! We still have few seats left.
Starting May 28: Mind Body Health and Recovery
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
by Landing Strong | May 1, 2020 | Balance, Belinda's Thoughts, Compassion, Media
I’m not a surfer, but I have a world of respect for those who have mastered the skill. It’s a sport that’s both thrilling, and terrifying.
We took a family trip to Florida once, and devoted ourselves to learning to surf. I did manage to get up a few times, but when I fell off, I wasn’t prepared for the crushing blow of the waves that snuck up from behind, pummeling me further under. Just as I was coming up for air, a massive wave would crash on top of me, leaving me coughing, disoriented, and gasping. I just couldn’t catch my breath.
In many ways, recent news has been like that. Just when we think we’re starting to get a handle on the latest events, another wave comes pounding down upon us, leaving us reeling. Canada (and Nova Scotia) has suffered another devastating loss with the recent crash of a Cyclone helicopter off the coast of Greece. Our hearts and prayers extend the the families of those who who were on that flight. The military is an extended family, and any losses or injuries cut deeply.
If we didn’t care, it wouldn’t hurt so much.
I don’t recall a time when there have been so many repeated waves of challenge and tragedy in such a short space of time. At least not in my generation…and not in this country.
It’s important to acknowledge that there’s a backdrop to all of these current events. Personal challenges or struggles each of us face in our immediate circles. Family members who are sick or struggling, losses that people can’t formally grieve, economic hardship and uncertainty.
Yes, it is important to stay informed. But it’s equally important not to oversaturate oneself with the news. I’ve spoken with many veterans and first responders in recent weeks who’ve been glued to their televisions trying to get a handle on the steadily changing state of things. Doing their best to be prepared. After all, knowledge is power.
Or is it? If we watch too much, it starts to control us. Maybe it’s time we cut way back, limiting our news exposure to a few basics. Taking a break entirely, or limiting our exposure to a few minutes per day so that we gain the latest highlights.
Putting distance between ourselves and the news does not mean that we don’t care. It’s evidence that we do. Because we care so much, it’s important that we don’t immerse ourselves in it.
So if you can, this weekend, turn off your electronics. Go for a walk. Bake, cook and be creative. It’s a great time to make some flower boxes in preparation for transplanting your indoor garden outside. Ride a bike, enjoy a hike and take some time to enjoy the signs of spring.
Take some time to catch your breath, allowing ourselves to realize that this too shall pass.
Warm Regards,
Belinda
