Lately Iāve been doing a lot of reading about business. At Landing Strong, weāre committed to providing top-tier services on a non-profit budget. Hence the need for great business strategizing.
As I read, Iām struck by how many business principles are equally relevant to health and recovery. Over the next four weeks, Iād like to share with you things Iām learning with the hopes that you too will find them helpful. Please join me on my voyage of inspiration.
Lesson 1: Success is the bi-product of a series of small experiments
Itās an unfortunate reality that most new businesses fail. In the Lean Start Up, Eric Ries claims this is because new business owners tend to make a common error: they put a large investment into a single idea and hope like heck that that they got it right. The author suggests a more innovative approach to entrepreneurship is to run start-ups like a series of small experiments that inform and guide business development. No single stage is too big an investment, and it is always possible to pivot and change tactics if it looks like an idea isnāt working out as expected.
I love this notion, because thereās no pressure to get it right the first time. In fact, the assumption is that you likely wonāt get it right immediately, and youāll probably have to continuously gather feedback to inform product refinement.
What if we applied this principle to healing and recovery? One of the most common errors I witness in terms of people who are trying to make changes in their lives is the pressure they put on themselves to get it right the first time they try something new. If it doesnāt work, they assume it was a bad idea. Maybe, in fact, it was a great idea, it just needed a bit of feedback and fine tuning.
When we design new Landing Strong programs, we work hard to get client feedback at the end of each session. Why? Because our assumption is there are parts that were likely great, and other parts will probably need to be tweaked in order to improve. The program becomes the product of an organic interaction between facilitator and participants.
Recovering from trauma exposure involves reinventing the self. It is, in a way, a new business start-up. Instead of waiting to have it all figured out and hoping we get it ārightā letās consider recovery as a series of small experiments in which you will be trying on new ideas or behaviours, seeing which are helpful and which need tweaking. We should expect the first version of anything wonāt likely be right. Rather, itās a first step in the gradual shaping of something new and wonderful.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
As many of you already know, this is a special week.Ā Ā Itās National Police week, a time when weāre encouraged to pause and think about the invaluable contributions these men and women make to our quality of life.Ā Ā We thank not just the officers, but also their families, for the steadfast work they do in supporting their loved ones.
Itās my privilege to work with a number of officers, and I am constantly astounded by the extreme situations they find themselves in, and the incredible resourcefulness it takes to stay focussed on the job at hand.Ā Ā I bear witness to the toll it takes on them, and the dedication they demonstrate through years of service. How do they stay resilient I wonder?Ā This question has been a lifelong obsession for me, taking me back thirty years to my masterās research when I interviewed officers across the country, trying to understand the unique stressors that police officers face while on the job.
It takes a special kind of person to stay strong when the going gets tough.Ā Ā The job takes a number of forms: whether itās keeping our streets and highways safe, working homicide cases, investigating cybercrime, conducting sex crime investigations, working undercover with gangs, conducting military investigations, or in the case of RCMP members, doing time in isolated Northern communities.Ā Ā
To each and every one of you, we are grateful for your efforts.
Thanks to you, our communities are that much safer.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Do you read the obituaries? I do. I didnāt use to, but since I have moved to our small community, I have a deeper sense of connection to those around me. Iām surprised by how often I recognize the names or families listed. Living in a small town, Iām more aware of the trials and tribulations of others in my community. When I pass the fruit and vegetable section at Sobeyās, I expect to run into an old friend who I would often see there, only to be reminded he is no longer with us. When I see fundraising notes and coin jars on the counters of local stores, Iām more inclined to donate knowing that I likely have an indirect connection to the face I see on the bottle. When our first responders pass by areas on the highways that mark the sites of accidents, they too are reminded of losses. Having grown up in downtown Toronto, I wasnāt used to that degree of connection.
I received a letter from my father last week, and for the first time noted a shakiness in his writing that reminds me of his passing years. I pray that those who reside on his busy Toronto street will keep an eye out for him, as I know we look out for each. Together we celebrate, grieve, struggle and grow. Growth, recovery and healing lies in the heart beat of our communities. Strength lies in connection.
In appreciation of each and every one of you who helps to make us strong,
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Itās a funny thing sitting down at a computer, composing thoughts that will be sent out into the universe.Ā Who are you I wonder?Ā What are you thinking? What are you feeling?Ā Will I be able to write something that will make a difference in moments when you may feel tired or alone? Am I able to offer something that is helpful, or simply bring a smile?Ā Normally, when I go out for coffee with a friend, I rely on my companions feedback to let me know how the conversation is going.Ā It may be a smile, a glint in the eye, or a shared confession of the soul.
But when I look at my computer screen, itās different. I imagine you, my on-line friends, busy in your lives, squeezing a quiet moment for yourself so that we might connect and hopefully find points of convergence in our lives. Itās those quiet moments of reflection that cherish, opportunities to dip into the well that nourishes us.
I think today Iād like to make you a cuppa tea, and offer you a freshly baked cookie. Thereās something about the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies that feels like home. Because theyāre virtual, theyāre calorie free, so you can enjoy as many as you like! Please sit with me as I welcome you into my heart.
Next week Joe and I are off for a well needed break in the Dominican Republic. My main goal is movement. Thatās it, allowing my body to go anywhere or do anything without fear of time constraints. I donāt know about you but for me, one of the biggest challenges of aging is range of motion. If I donāt move enough, I lose myself. Weāre taking our inflatable paddle boards so that we might explore and dip to the tune of our internal rhythms. By the time you get this blog, Iāll likely be out there, floating in the crystalline Caribbean. Iāll take a piece of you with me, and think of you all as I connect with the sun, the sand, the ocean breeze, and my quiet self. Thank you for enriching my community. For although I may be miles away, I know we are still connected.
Thanks as well to those of you who have offered comments and feedback, it means a great deal and helps guide the next discussion.
My husband recently took a group of 30 students, aged 11-18 to the summit of Kilimanjaro. Every one of them made it to the top. Braving the cold on that last difficult night, the students dug deep to find the resources to keep going when their bodies were shrieking at them to stop. There is no doubt in my mind that if they were walking in isolation, very few would make it. With support, encouragement and companionship of others in the same predicament, the venture somehow feels less daunting. There is, indeed, strength in numbers.
This week I came off an intensive week working with veterans and first responders recovering from Operational Stress Injuries. Even though they are only four days into a ten day program, I already see a difference: a lightness in their faces; straightness in their back; and a shift in the manner they speak to one another. What originally started out as a journey of isolation has transformed into a group effort. Accessing emotions that have been long buried they push forward in their desire for recovery.
Initially avoiding eye contact, they now meet each otherās gaze with respect and admiration. Trained to view expression of emotions as a sign of weakness, they are coming to understand it is, in fact, the opposite. Facing that which we fear is the ultimate act of courage.
āWe are alone in this together.ā One of them affirmed. With these words I know that something important is shifting. For what started out as a solo journey, has now become a group expedition.
I speak to many veterans and first responders who tell me they are having a difficult time feeling.
The problem isnāt that theyāre feeling downā¦itās that they arenāt feeling at all.
Over the years, quietly and almost unnoticed, emotional flatness has seeped into their lives.
āItās not all badā they tell me. āIām not bothered at work by things that seem to disturb other people. I just shut āer down and get the job done.ā
You may recognize yourself in this picture: highly skilled at being functional, even when the going gets tough. When faced with disturbing or horrific scenes, weāre trained to shut down our emotions. Because after allā¦Mission (service) comes before self.
One of the challenges is that we get so used to being in this mode that we donāt always know when weāre are doing it.
We just notice that we are no longer able to feel like we used to.
The emotional override can be so powerful that that we may not even be able to recognize what our needs are. Knowing how and when to take time out for ourselves isnāt simple. Years of training has hardwired us to meet the expectations of strangers before those of our own families or even ourselves.
Chronic pain, fatigue, anger, anxiety and emotional flatness are all indications that this has gone on for too long.
Recovery is about reconnecting with self. Listening to our bodies and our minds.
Change is possible but I wonāt kid you, itās not easy. Particularly if the override has been going on for many years.
We will be offering a five week program on successive Fridays starting May 24 which will help. Stop faking good and start feeling good: Manage your emotions and curb your addictions. Call now to reserve your spot (902) 472-2972 or contact us at info@landingstrong.com
Partners in recovery,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
