The courage to forgive

The courage to forgive

by | Jun 10, 2022 | Belinda's Thoughts, Courage, Forgiveness, Mindfulness, Resilience

The courage to forgive

I’ve been working in the field of trauma for close to thirty years: in women’s shelters, the federal penitentiary system, hospitals, schools and community. In all the dark spaces and all of the dark places, one universal truth I’ve come to understand is that healing and compassion are closely intertwined. Anger and shame anchor us to the past, whereas forgiveness and self-compassion pave the way forward. When we live in anger, we allow others to control the narrative of our journey. There’s incredible freedom in letting go.


Martin Luther King Jr. understood this when he wrote:

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


Desmond Tutu states:

Forgiveness is not weak. It takes incredible courage to face and overcome powerful emotions.


Next Thursday, our Maintaining Health Program is going to explore the freedom that accompanies compassion and forgiveness.

If you’ve taken a previous program, you’re welcome to join. Just drop us a line so that we know you’re coming. 

We also still have spots left in the Navigating Next Steps Program Series, starting this Tuesday. Creating Confidence and Clarifying Strengths runs for five weeks. It is designed to build trust and confidence, identify strengths and re-affirm values that are most important.

We look forward to seeing you.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.Executive Director, Landing Strong

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder

by | May 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Change, Courage

Working in the federal penitentiary, I frequently met inmates who chose alcohol over life.  They repeatedly shared stories of relationships that fell apart because the pull towards substances was more compelling than their desire to be in relationships.  When given the choice, they chose Johnny Walker over their partners. 

The decision to cut down on substance use (or to be abstinent) is really a decision about health and connection.  

I choose to trust.
I choose to feel.
I choose to fully live.

Abstinence does indeed help the heart grow fonder.
We run group programs year round designed to help you ensure the life you are living reflects the life you want. Feel free to call us if you’d like to jump into an upcoming group.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Being there for one another the best way we can

Being there for one another the best way we can

by | Feb 5, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Support

“I got you a delicious cake,” said the mole
“Did you?”
“Yes”
“Where is it?”
“I ate it,” said the mole
“Oh”
“But I got you another.”
“Did you? Where is that one?”
“The same thing seems to have happened.” 

-The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy
 

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to show up for someone even if we might not know what to do.   Or maybe we try to say something and it comes out all wrong.  

Many people are hesitant to join group because it can be scary. 

“What if I say the wrong thing? What if I don’t belong?”  Or even worse, “What if I say something that injures someone?”  

Being in group is about meeting people where they are at.  Everyone starts in a different space, and goes at their own speed.  We aren’t supposed to all be the same. We don’t always say or do the right thing. But somehow we work it out.

I can promise you one thing …we won’t eat your cake!  Give us a call and join us for a group program this spring.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

The bravest thing you’ve ever said

The bravest thing you’ve ever said

by | Jan 26, 2021 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Support

“What is the bravest thing you’ve ever said?” asked the boy.
“Help” said the horse.
“When have you been at your strongest?” Asked the boy
“When I have dared to show my weakness”

  • The Boy, the Mole the Fox and the Horse by Charlie Mackesy

 
I used to belief courage was about doing things that involved incredible risk:  Running into burning buildings; putting oneself into the line of fire; more recently caring for those with contagious diseases.  

These are indeed acts of courage.

What I have learned to appreciate though, is a quieter more invisible form of courage.  It’s the force that motivates us to speak when it’s easier to remain silent.  To stand up and be seen when we can blend in or remain invisible.  To ask for help when in many ways it’s less effort to simply carry on.

Asking for help may be one of the hardest and most courageous things we can do.

Warm regards,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong

Everybody needs a prickle

Everybody needs a prickle

by | Aug 14, 2020 | Belinda's Thoughts, Community, Courage, Friday Inspiration

We all need to have a sense of belonging. Even porcupines need to connect.  Did you know that a group of porcupines is called a prickle?  Even if we don’t look approachable, it doesn’t mean we aren’t looking to connect.

I have a friend Kari MacLeod who walks both her cats and dogs through the forest near her house.  Recently, she has had an unlikely new addition to the walking crew: a porcupine has been welcomed into the ranks. 

This porcupine found its prickle with Kari and her pets.

Sometimes we find belonging in unexpected places.  Even if we are coming out of our comfort zone to create it.  Like porcupines, people who suffer from injury are not always seen as approachable.  There might be fears of getting close.  

It’s only after getting to know porcupines better that we realize their quills are only used as a protective measure.  They might look threatening, but underneath it all, they’re just as loveable as any other creature.  Their quills aren’t designed to keep people away, but to protect them from harm.

Many first time group participants have concerns about fitting in, but our shared experiences and common ground connect us in a way that is stronger than any differences that may exist.  Whether you find your prickle with us or somewhere else, we hope you find strength and support within a community. 

Warm regards,

Spring cleaning your emotional closet

Spring cleaning your emotional closet

by | Mar 20, 2020 | Courage, Growth, Our Program, Recovery

When I was a little girl, I was sure that there were monsters in the basement.  I remember running full speed up the stairs, away from the dark cellar so that the monsters didn’t get me.  They were huge, scary and dangerous.  Avoiding it kept me afraid.  Had I faced them, I would have discovered it was just the furnace making a weird noise.  Slightly unsettling but not scary at all. Certainly not unmanageable.

Sometimes when we don’t want to feel something, it’s easier to compartmentalize our emotions.  We run away from them so that they can’t hurt us.  The problem with this is that our fear of them is usually greater than the pain they can cause us.  We feed our fears by looking away.  They get their power from silence and being ignored or hidden.  

By talking about them, we take away their power.

This May, we’re offering a repeat of our trauma program: Your Past is Not your Future: Master Strategies to Overcome Trauma.  For those of you who have already taken this course, try Mind Body Health and Recovery, an exciting new program co-facilitated by Naturopathic Doctor Adrienne Wood. Program size is limited, so sign up now to avoid disappointment. 

Warm wishes,

Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong