Itās a common question we ask ourselves, particularly during periods of change or transition.Ā Ā After years of service, taking off the uniform can mean a stripping of identity.Ā Ā āWho am I behind the uniform?ā you may wonder.
Growing up, I dreamed of changing the world, somehow making it a kinder, gentler place. The older I grew, the more I understood this was not so simple. Today, my aspirations are more humble. Every night as I lay my head on my pillow, instead of judging whether I changed the world, I simply ask myself the following:
āHave I had a heartfelt discussion with someone today and felt a meaningful connection? Have I been a good person today?ā If the answer is yes, then I sleep well. If not, then Iām motivated to do something about it. Itās my belief that a series of meaningful connections leads to a mountain of change, and a whole lot of purpose.
So when you look in the mirror and wonder if youāre making a difference, I challenge you to ask yourself the simple questions. Itās my sense that the meaning and purpose will follow.
Warm wishes from the entire Landing Strong Team,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Just before Christmas, I had the chance to accompany a competitive girls basketball team to a tournament in Arizona. In addition to watching some great basketball, my husband Joe and I had the opportunity for a hike up Camelback Ridge, a famous trail in Echo Canyon Park. As we passed the trailhead at 4pm, a park ranger warned us to be back down by 5:25pm. Confident and energetic, we forged ahead, making the steep climb to the peak by 5pm. At the summit, we stood proudly among a gathering of happy people enjoying the spectacular view. A friendly and hard-core looking hiker warned us that the 5:25pm deadline was real, and the park gave out tickets to anyone who is late getting off the mountain. We laughed and took a series of great photos to the warm glow of the setting sun.
Making our way down, we continued to take great photos. We started to be passed by a series of ultra-marathon looking types jogging quickly by. Enough runners passed that I started to think that maybe they knew something we didnāt: either, they were being chased by wild game; or the 5:25pm penalty was real. With a surge of energy, we started to sprint down. My husband laughed at me, as heās never seen me scamper down a mountain slope with such glee. It had become a game – Belinda versus park ranger. With sixty seconds to spare, we made it across the finish line. I looked around to give the ticketing officer a high-five, but none was to be found. Enquiries with other hikers revealed that ticketing is a practice, but seldom enforced. However, the large number of foolish hikers stranding themselves up on the mountain after dusk with only their cell phones to guide them was real. The emergency response team is frequently called to help pull people out after they injure themselves after dark.
All in all, what could have been a stressful situation ended up being the highlight of my trip. Sometimes when weāre stressed situation, itās hard to see the silver lining. Only afterwards are we able to reflect on the strength, courage or skill it took to get ourselves out of it.
Although I know the journey that each of you is on might be difficult, we hope that you are able to take time to catch the sunset or beauty that exists within it.
Warm regards from the entire Landing Strong Team,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
As we gear up for the holidays, itās easy to get caught up with the demands of the season.Ā Ā For many, the extra load can feel somewhat overwhelming.Ā Ā With this in mind, we have created something special for you: 8 Holiday hacks to keep your recovery on track. Ā In this special booklet, we offer tips and strategies for staying sane in a time of increased demand. Weāll also be sending mini versions of these strategies to you through social media channels over the next few weeks.
Want to start the New Year off right? We have some exciting new programs launching in January that we invite you to join.Ā Ā Itās important to call soon so that we can arrange insurance coverage for you to attend.
Care for the Caregiver Part 1: Supporting and Thriving
Learn Strategies to be a stronger, more resilient support for someone you care about who has PTSD or other Operational Stress Injuries
An encore presentation for those who could not get into the first round.
Monday January 7, 2019 10-3 pm
Care for the Caregiver Series Part 2: Effective communication skills
Learn strategies to reconnect in a meaningful way
Friday January 18, 2019 10-3 pm
New Year New You Part 1
This year, set yourself up for success. Regroup, recalibrate and reclaim your life.Ā Ā
A program for military members, veterans and first responders.
Friday January 11, 2019 10-3 pm
Build confidence
Reconnect with yourself
Discover your true potential
Group sizes are limited, book now to avoid disappointment. Call (902) 472-2972 for more information or email us at info@landingstrong.com.
āI just want to be happy,ā the woman sitting next to me at the coffee shop exclaims to her friend, āis that too much to ask?ā
Iām trying not to listen, but have a hard time tuning her out since sheās speaking so loudly. Ā As I sip my London Fog, I wonder if she is struggling because sheās asking the wrong question.
Everyone is talking about having a happy life.Ā Iām not sure such a thing exists.Ā In true Buddhist tradition, we can’t fully appreciate joy without knowing suffering.Ā Or love, without loneliness. I believe happiness is a byproduct of spending our time in meaningful ways, not a destination in and of itself.Ā Itās really about understanding the impact of the many small choices we make each day.Ā Happiness might come from supporting a friend instead of watching Netflix, or starting that fitness program weāve been putting off.Ā Itās about choosing to do the hard thing, instead of settling for whatās easy. Ā Itās not always clear how important the struggle is when weāre in the midst of it.Ā The joy of an accomplishment is in direct proportion to the challenge it presents.Ā If it isnāt hard to do, it probably isnāt worth doing.
So instead of asking the question, āwhy canāt I be happy?ā, we should be asking, āhow have I challenged myself today?āĀ Ultimately, itās through meaning and purpose that we find fulfillment.
This has been a tough week. Lost lives and hate have been infecting the headlines in the morning papers. I was shaken when I read of the pipe bombs that were mailed to Democrats in the United States. Thankfully, they were intercepted before detonating. How many law enforcement officials risked their lives to move these dangerous packages away from the public? Then came the news of a hate-filled synagogue shooting in Pittsburgh, where eleven people lost their lives. Four police officers were injured in the shooting, and many more police and first responders were exposed to the scene as they worked to rescue the civilians inside. Shortly after, I learn that Indonesia’s Lion Air Flight JT-610 crashed into the sea with 189 on board. I struggle to make sense of it all.
I canāt help but think back to the Swissair Flight 111 tragedy, and wonder how those affected by that event are coping with the news of a similar occurrence this week. Even for those who processed the difficult emotions they experienced as a result of Swissair and have been doing well, this recent crash is likely to trigger old memories. Recovering from trauma is possible, but making an effort to maintain our wellbeing and having ongoing support is crucial for long-term success. Overcoming trauma is not a linear process, there will be setbacks. Resilience is being able to recognize what your needs are when faced with stressors, and reaching out before they impact your life.
When I think of the scary things that can take place in public spaces, I try to remind myself of the better things people have done. I see the devastating effects that can result from just one person, but I also see flash mobs that required several people and many hours of singing, dancing and working together to create something special. During hard weeks like this one, I remind myself that those trying to better our community outnumber the disturbed few. I invite you to take a few moments to balance your exposure to the tragedy by reminders of the good that exists.
Below are links to a few videos that remind me of the abundance of light, even on a darkened evening.Ā These videos serve to remind me that, despite the odds, by paying attention to the people immediately around us, anything is possible. Feel free to share examples of events that inspire you (info@landingstrong.com) and weāll share it with the community.
Even in a place where collaboration and cooperation are unlikely, they join together to be seen and heard. A call to not be forgotten:Ā Prison’s flash mob. Michael Jackson’s song
āGet comfortable being uncomfortableā was the suggestion that my friend and business coach, Eleanor Beaton, gave me this week. She was speaking to me about the importance of pushing ourselves toward new things, even when they are challenging or intimidating.
I discussed this topic in a previous blog, when describing my experience in yoga class. It was reassuring to be reminded that itās normal to feel uncomfortable. Looking forward, I think Iām in for a long period of it. Instead of embracing the growing pains, I feel like a character in an Alfred Hitchcock film who is trying to get comfortable while lying on a bed of nails. Itāll take time and practice; some things just canāt be rushed.
There are many new and exciting changes going on, each one introducing new fears or worries.Ā Will we receive funding to start the 3 month program soon? Will the next PTSD Hero Comic be well received? Are the messages we are sending out on social media having a positive impact? Will we get the next grant application in on time?
To get through this time, I tell myself this is not a permanent state. I remind myself of the importance of self-care, making a point of taking a step back when I am feeling overwhelmed.Ā Most importantly, I rely on good friends and a hot tea to remind me Iām not doing it alone.
Weāre taking a huge leap of faith, and creating something innovative and exciting. We feel honoured that you are with us, by being part of our virtual community. With each new addition to our email list, our community has grown by one. Every time you share posts, you help us to spread the word and expand our community. For as you know, it isnāt just a community for those who are injured. It is also for those who are supporting them, or cheering from the sidelines. We are in a marathon of recovery, and even the person who hands out water, or shares the word is part of a wave of social change. There is strength in numbers
Keep telling us what you think. If you have ideas or issues you would like addressed, feel free to send them to us directly at info@landingstrong.com.Ā We love to hear from you!
