High performance athletes canāt always do whatās expected. Occasionally, they might have a minor sprain or injury that needs nurturing. In the case of a major setback, they might be on the sidelines for a longer period of time. This doesnāt mean they arenāt a top performer. It simply means that no matter what weāre good at, or what weāre trying to work on, none of us can be good at it all of the time.
Sometimes when we have a setback, it might be easy to doubt whether weāve made any progress at all.
āMaybe the good mood I had last month wasnāt real…ā
āI feel like Iām back at square oneā
āI thought I was doing so much better, what does it mean now that Iām really struggling?ā
As in any journey, the path has peaks and valleys. The emotions you feel at any one point in time will never be a constant. True, the good times will passā¦ but so will the bad.
The most important thing to remember in those moments of self-doubt is thatās the time to reach out. Itās totally counter-intuitive, but a certain way to turn things around quickly. When we most want to retreat, thatās actually when we need to advance.
Donāt wait until youāre feeling good to join one of our groupsā¦ it would be a very empty room if we all took that approach. Take a look at the programs weāre offering in the new year and see if thereās one that seems right for you. Thereās a seat waiting for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
During a recent training trip in Quebec, I took advantage of a warm afternoon by taking a stroll down a remote country road. At the end of the road, the sound of a trickling waterfall caught my attention. Drawn towards it, I spied a small blue door supported by weathered stone pillars. On the door was a sign declaring āPropriete Privee,ā or private property. Surrounding the small waterfall were five lines of barbed wire, ensuring that no one enter the property.
What a shame, I thought to myself, that such a special spot be barred from view by others. The owners may have had good reason to guard their property ā perhaps trespassers had abused the privilege of visiting. I realized though, that those past incidents served to form the rationale for a permanent barrier. The gate served not only to keep people out, it also prevented people from coming in.
It isnāt uncommon that we build barriers to keep ourselves safe following trauma. Whether itās imaginary walls or barbed wire, the thought of letting others in can be threatening. I have no doubt that when we build the walls we do so because they are needed. How do we know, though, when itās safe to take them down?
Joining a treatment group offers a safe way to connect with others. Youāll never be asked to share anything you arenāt ready to share, and we offer a structured and supportive way of exploring topics that we hope youāll find useful on your journey to health. We still have a few seats left in the āStop Faking Good & Start Feeling Goodā group, please call to sign up soon to avoid disappointment. Our upcoming Community Connection days allow a more informal way of connecting and having fun. Running over three Fridays in October, the first one on October 4th is for Veterans and First Responders who have taken programs at Landing Strong. The second (being held on October 11th) is opened to those who have taken group programs with us and to their partners, spouses and others who have been important supports. On October 18th, we welcome anyone who has taken a Landing Strong Program as well as any Veteran, Military Member or First Responder who might be thinking of taking a program, but arenāt sure and want a chance to test the waters. We are offering these Community Connection Days free of charge, just give us a phone call to let us know youāre coming.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Welcome to our second week of applying business principles to health and recovery. This week, Iād like to talk to you about the power of belief.
Branding is a term in marketing that helps us understand the intended customer experience. Donald Miller, in his book Building a Story Brand, describes branding as a transformational process: itās a journey that offers promise of a desired final destination. Our ābrandā is our aspirational identity. Itās how we want to feel. Branding is about helping to guide people toward a stronger belief in themselves.
Miller provides the example of Starbucks. When you purchase a Starbuckās coffee, youāre buying much more than coffee. Youāre buying an experience ā a way of seeing yourself ā sophisticated, chic, someone worthy of being treated to something special. The simple act of drinking coffee is transformed into an experience of savouring, and the price becomes secondary to the experience. Marketing genius.
I think about how we describe ourselves to others, and wonder how our personal branding affects how we are perceived, and treated.
Do you view (and describe) yourself as an injured veteran or first responder? Or are you someone who is embarking on a journey of personal growth following traumatic exposure?
Are you unemployed, or taking time to learn more about yourself?
Are you exhausted, or rather, in need of a well-earned break?
Are you trying to recover what was lost, or looking to broaden who you can be?
Are you overwhelmed by emotions, or enriching your ability to feel and connect with others?
Itās worth considering how you want to feel, and being mindful to integrate these words into your internal vocabulary. Words are powerful, for they are the utterance of our internal brand.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Lately Iāve been doing a lot of reading about business. At Landing Strong, weāre committed to providing top-tier services on a non-profit budget. Hence the need for great business strategizing.
As I read, Iām struck by how many business principles are equally relevant to health and recovery. Over the next four weeks, Iād like to share with you things Iām learning with the hopes that you too will find them helpful. Please join me on my voyage of inspiration.
Lesson 1: Success is the bi-product of a series of small experiments
Itās an unfortunate reality that most new businesses fail. In the Lean Start Up, Eric Ries claims this is because new business owners tend to make a common error: they put a large investment into a single idea and hope like heck that that they got it right. The author suggests a more innovative approach to entrepreneurship is to run start-ups like a series of small experiments that inform and guide business development. No single stage is too big an investment, and it is always possible to pivot and change tactics if it looks like an idea isnāt working out as expected.
I love this notion, because thereās no pressure to get it right the first time. In fact, the assumption is that you likely wonāt get it right immediately, and youāll probably have to continuously gather feedback to inform product refinement.
What if we applied this principle to healing and recovery? One of the most common errors I witness in terms of people who are trying to make changes in their lives is the pressure they put on themselves to get it right the first time they try something new. If it doesnāt work, they assume it was a bad idea. Maybe, in fact, it was a great idea, it just needed a bit of feedback and fine tuning.
When we design new Landing Strong programs, we work hard to get client feedback at the end of each session. Why? Because our assumption is there are parts that were likely great, and other parts will probably need to be tweaked in order to improve. The program becomes the product of an organic interaction between facilitator and participants.
Recovering from trauma exposure involves reinventing the self. It is, in a way, a new business start-up. Instead of waiting to have it all figured out and hoping we get it ārightā letās consider recovery as a series of small experiments in which you will be trying on new ideas or behaviours, seeing which are helpful and which need tweaking. We should expect the first version of anything wonāt likely be right. Rather, itās a first step in the gradual shaping of something new and wonderful.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Have I ever mentioned how much I love homemade chocolate chip cookies? Something deep within me settles as the familiar aroma of fresh baked goodness wafts through my kitchen. The simple routine of baking offers me reassurance that all will be okay.
Although routines can be comforting, never straying from them has consequences. Just because old habits make me feel good doesnāt mean theyāre always good for me. I love that there are things in life that are a sure bet, but at the same time, realize that taking risks is part of moving forward.
Iāve taken a lot of risks lately. Iāll admit it, it has not been easy. It would definitely have been simpler and easier to stay in a place that’s old and familiar.
So why do it you might ask? Why challenge myself when I could simply sit at home baking cookies and watching Netflix?
Truth is, I believe thereās something big around the corner. Something wonderful thatās worth the journey. Weāre not quite there yet, but weāre getting there. You and me and the Landing Strong Team.
How incredible that we allow ourselves to venture into that new place together.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Itās supposed to be spring, but itās still cold outside. Weāve had a couple glimpses of sun and warmth, only to be quickly reminded that winter isnāt too far in our rear view mirror. Remember, objects in mirror are closer than they appear. This year, more so than many I remember, the wait for spring feels long. Winter brought with it a lot of ice, restricting movement and keeping us confined to our homes perhaps more than usual. With the promise of warmer days just around the corner, many of us are likely seeding our lawns, tilling soil, and preparing for growth in the new season.
This growth can take a lot of forms. It may be literally working in your yard, or might look a little different: inviting someone new out to coffee; speaking to a friend or family member from your heart; trying something new; making the decision to get help; or continuing your growth through participating in a workshop.
What kind of growth are you looking for this season? What specific steps can you take towards reaching that goal?
Remember, small steps in the right direction eventually get us somewhere big.
