Welcome to our second week of applying business principles to health and recovery. This week, Iâd like to talk to you about the power of belief.
Branding is a term in marketing that helps us understand the intended customer experience. Donald Miller, in his book Building a Story Brand, describes branding as a transformational process: itâs a journey that offers promise of a desired final destination. Our âbrandâ is our aspirational identity. Itâs how we want to feel. Branding is about helping to guide people toward a stronger belief in themselves.
Miller provides the example of Starbucks. When you purchase a Starbuckâs coffee, youâre buying much more than coffee. Youâre buying an experience â a way of seeing yourself â sophisticated, chic, someone worthy of being treated to something special. The simple act of drinking coffee is transformed into an experience of savouring, and the price becomes secondary to the experience. Marketing genius.
I think about how we describe ourselves to others, and wonder how our personal branding affects how we are perceived, and treated.
Do you view (and describe) yourself as an injured veteran or first responder? Or are you someone who is embarking on a journey of personal growth following traumatic exposure?
Are you unemployed, or taking time to learn more about yourself?
Are you exhausted, or rather, in need of a well-earned break?
Are you trying to recover what was lost, or looking to broaden who you can be?
Are you overwhelmed by emotions, or enriching your ability to feel and connect with others?
Itâs worth considering how you want to feel, and being mindful to integrate these words into your internal vocabulary. Words are powerful, for they are the utterance of our internal brand.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
My husband recently took a group of 30 students, aged 11-18 to the summit of Kilimanjaro. Every one of them made it to the top. Braving the cold on that last difficult night, the students dug deep to find the resources to keep going when their bodies were shrieking at them to stop. There is no doubt in my mind that if they were walking in isolation, very few would make it. With support, encouragement and companionship of others in the same predicament, the venture somehow feels less daunting. There is, indeed, strength in numbers.
This week I came off an intensive week working with veterans and first responders recovering from Operational Stress Injuries. Even though they are only four days into a ten day program, I already see a difference: a lightness in their faces; straightness in their back; and a shift in the manner they speak to one another. What originally started out as a journey of isolation has transformed into a group effort. Accessing emotions that have been long buried they push forward in their desire for recovery.
Initially avoiding eye contact, they now meet each otherâs gaze with respect and admiration. Trained to view expression of emotions as a sign of weakness, they are coming to understand it is, in fact, the opposite. Facing that which we fear is the ultimate act of courage.
âWe are alone in this together.â One of them affirmed. With these words I know that something important is shifting. For what started out as a solo journey, has now become a group expedition.
Have you ever wanted to just get away from it all? Burst away from the demands and expectations of daily life? I have. This weekend Iâm going to Toronto to meet with family. You know what I intend to do? Pay to be locked up with them. Thatâs rightâŠhave an escape room experience.
I know what youâre thinking:
âYou need to get out more Belinda. Paying to be locked up with family membersâŠreally!!â
Iâll let you know how it goes. Iâve never tried one before.
SoâŠthe fun may be brief, or you may not see me again…if we canât figure how to get out.
Honestly though, I think we all just need to escape from time to time. Do something fun and with people that we care about. I challenge you all to try something different. Step out of that comfort zone. If youâd like to share stories/pictures of your escape, we can post on our Landing Strong Facebook site. Just send them to Mackenzie at mseagram@landingstrong.com. Oh by the way, she is part of this as well, so if social media messaging suddenly stops, youâll know weâre really trapped. đ
Keep your posts as anonymous as you wish. Perhaps your ideas might inspire others. Iâll post something of our experience.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
I speak to many veterans and first responders who tell me they are having a difficult time feeling.
The problem isnât that theyâre feeling downâŠitâs that they arenât feeling at all.
Over the years, quietly and almost unnoticed, emotional flatness has seeped into their lives.
âItâs not all badâ they tell me. âIâm not bothered at work by things that seem to disturb other people. I just shut âer down and get the job done.â
You may recognize yourself in this picture: highly skilled at being functional, even when the going gets tough. When faced with disturbing or horrific scenes, weâre trained to shut down our emotions. Because after allâŠMission (service) comes before self.
One of the challenges is that we get so used to being in this mode that we donât always know when weâre are doing it.
We just notice that we are no longer able to feel like we used to.
The emotional override can be so powerful that that we may not even be able to recognize what our needs are. Knowing how and when to take time out for ourselves isnât simple. Years of training has hardwired us to meet the expectations of strangers before those of our own families or even ourselves.
Chronic pain, fatigue, anger, anxiety and emotional flatness are all indications that this has gone on for too long.
Recovery is about reconnecting with self. Listening to our bodies and our minds.
Change is possible but I wonât kid you, itâs not easy. Particularly if the override has been going on for many years.
We will be offering a five week program on successive Fridays starting May 24 which will help. Stop faking good and start feeling good: Manage your emotions and curb your addictions. Call now to reserve your spot (902) 472-2972 or contact us at info@landingstrong.com
Partners in recovery,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
As I sit here in the warmth of my kitchen, smelling the sweet aroma of baking granola, I feel particularly grateful to be inside while the elements rage outside. Snow day, what wonderful words. All the busyness of life comes to a screeching halt as I hunker down for a good olâ time of doing nothinâ.
It feels strangely calming simply standing still in time. Many people may be stressing about the elements they canât control in their life today: appointments they canât make; places they canât get to; children who are stuck at home. Although I have a lot of things I was hoping to do today, probably the most important thing I can do is recognize and accept what I canât control. Make the best of it. Iâm talking about the art of letting go.
This snow day situation is perhaps a parallel of what many of you are facing every day in your lives: loss of the ability to do your job or participate in activities that you enjoy and are accustomed to. Over the years, Iâve come to learn that the people who recover from trauma the fastest are generally those who acknowledge that it is a process that canât be rushed. They are patient with themselves. Those who push themselves to get better faster take longer to recover. By focusing on the things that we can control and letting go of those we canât, weâre honouring the process of recovery.
For those of you who didnât get to stay home during this bad weather (perhaps your jobs involve going out in these conditions to help others), I thank you. For it is your actions that keep us all safe.
Be warm, be safe,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
I have a piece of wildlife art on my wall: a majestic stag, staring intensely at me from a forest glade. When I look at it, my body settles. In fact, when Iâm on a break between sessions, I often sit on my couch and stare at this deer, looking at it as it looks back at me. A couple moments of mindful reflection in the blur of an otherwise busy day.
A few weeks ago, I noticed a client standing in front of this piece of art, staring at it thoughtfully. I immediately assumed it was bringing him the same joy it brought to me. When I observed him more closely, I saw a flash of pleasure dance across his face. I suddenly remembered that he was a hunter.
âYouâre thinking about shooting that deer!â I proclaimed, somewhat shocked.
âNo,â he said to me, grinning slyly. âIâm thinking of cooking it up over a campfire, and eating a great venison steak.â
Itâs all a matter of perspective. It doesnât matter what weâre dealing with in life, there are always many ways to look at any situation.
A snow day this week could be a headache, or cause for celebration.
Are you aware of the direction your thoughts take you? Our automatic thoughts are powerful guides in terms of how we interpret the world around us. They drive our emotions. Itâs generally not a situation that causes an emotion, but rather the way we think about it that drives the feeling.
If we want to change our feelings, we have to change our thoughts. We canât always control our environment, but we can control how we choose to think about it.
One of the most impactful ways of gaining a new perspective is to work within groups. Weâre able to see ourselves, not just through our own lenses, but also through the lens of others. A carefully facilitated and safe therapeutic group provides the ideal venue.
We offer a variety of workshops and programs. Landing Strong members are welcome to join at any time. New programs are being launched on a regular basis (check out the âPrograms and Workshopsâ tab under LandingStrong.com)Â Â We hope youâll join us. Spoiler alert: Keep an eye out for our emotions management program, coming soon!
Warm thoughts from the Landing Strong Team,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
