Itâs belief that many people with PTSD hold. A wish that somehow, they could have/should have done more. Itâs only by seeing the enormity of a problem that we are able to truly appreciate how big it is. Suddenly our efforts feel small.
Those who are injured in war or times of conflict tend to be quite silent about their experiences. So deep runs the shame that they wanted to do more. Recently a veteran shared a wonderful Helen Hayes quote with me:
We relish stories of our heroes, forgetting that we are extraordinary to someone too.
If you were injured in service to your country, whether at home or overseas, you have been part of a united contribution that defines the Canada we are proud to call home. We can never truly know how efforts may have shaped our lives. Your contributions did matter, and you are someoneâs hero.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
This is a hard week for many veterans and their families. During training exercises, deployments and times of conflict, unspeakable things take place that are not readily shared. Although others may not know the exact details of what happened, please know that there is an acute awareness within the community of the cost of service, both to you and your families.
This week, Kristy from Serenity Acres brought in a bundle of letters written by students from the West Hants Education Centre for members of our Veteran community. We have included excepts below, copied exactly as written:
“Thank you for your service for our wonderful country. You are the reason I am able to find happiness and security in my life! I wish you the same happiness and security because you deserve it.”
“We see you. We hear you. We thank you.”
“Thank you for your serves!”
“I hope you know we care. We understand that you have sacrificed your lives for us and we are so thoughtful for what you guys and girls did for us. Lest we forget.”
“Thank you for allowing everyone to live in peace without too much risk of war. I want to let you know that you are not alone and there are support programs you can join to talk to for support.”
“At West Hants Education Centre, we have educated students about the sacrifice and service you have given for our country. You are an important part of our history and our current society today.”
“Students and Staff at West Hants Education Centre want to thank you for your service. Your unmatched sacrifice is why many people are able to live the lives they lead. Thank you, WHEC”
I am told that leadership is best exemplified through service. Our veteran community stands as a strong example of this, its members having unquestioningly put themselves at risk so that others might be safe. We thank you for the powerful positive role you have played in shaping this country.
Today we remember military members and veterans, both past and present.
Thank you for your service,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
This Halloween, I was scheduled to attend a lunch time meeting at Kingâs-Edgehill School. Traditionally, the school makes a very big deal of HalloweenâŠEVERYONE dresses up. Wanting to be part of the fun, I decided to wear a costume. Unfortunately, what I didnât know was that the school had their dress up day the previous week.
Imagine my dismay when I found myself in full Star Trek costume surrounded by a sea of students in uniforms.
I too was in uniform, only it was from wrong planet.
Somehow, this wasnât the way I imagined this would play out.
The incidental bonus to the day is that I realized everyone I encountered was eager to join the fun. On seeing my costume, Lezlee and Jen, our Office Admin staff, ran out to Dollarama to get fun costumes and a treat bowl. Everyone smiled when greeted by a witch and a cat in the reception. Clients greeted me in the lobby with the traditional Klingon hand signals and greetings.
As the day progressed, I forgot that I was in costume, but the smiles and jokes from others reminded me that we all enjoy an excuse to laugh together.
When people feel joyful, they break into spontaneous play.
Small acts of fun truly do spark joy.
Maybe thatâs the take-away from my day. Live long, laugh and prosper
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Itâs often much easier to notice what weâre doing wrong, rather than what weâre doing right. Military and first responder roles rely on critical analysis of potential shortfalls in order to maximize safety.Â
Even when our actions are not motivated by the desire for recognition, itâs always satisfying to know when we got it right or that our efforts are making a difference.Â
The problem of focusing on our missteps and passing over successes, however small they might be, is that is fosters a bias to overlook the good when we are confronted with challenges.
I like to think of the person who came up with the idea of building the first boat. They may have thrown many items in the water and examined what made them sink, but chances are they spent more time examining what made things float in order to come up with the winning formula. It can often be easier to focus on our weaknesses rather than our strengths. But how much healthier would we be if we mastered the habit of noticing what we do well?
How might your day be different if the focus was on all the little things you are doing that are having a positive impact? Can you identify three in this moment?
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Triggers or glimmers? Itâs all a matter of attention
PTSD is a condition where our central nervous systems are constantly scanning for potential threats. Itâs our brainsâ way of keeping us safe. The problem is, itâs easy to miss the good stuff. By hyper-focusing on danger, we overlook signs of safety.
We may have a good sense of triggers, those are the people, places or things that create a sense of danger or unease. In contrast, Trauma Specialist Deb Dana introduced the term glimmer to describe experiences that foster a sense of safety. Glimmers are small moments that help shift our system towards calm.Â
This month in our Maintaining Health group, we worked on recognizing Glimmers. Itâs really about intention. Noticing both sides of the equation.
Hurricane Fiona created challenges for many. It also brought out the best as communities bonded together to help one another. A tree may have fallen on my veranda, but the plentiful rain produced the best crop of carrots I have ever had. Iâve never seen such abundance. Thatâs my glimmer.
If you catch yourself focusing on the threat or problem, take a mindful moment to balance the equation. Notice the simple things that bring you peace: the crisp fall air, colourful leaves, or pumpkin people dancing on the lawns of Kentville.
Donât forget to enjoy the glimmers.
Warm Regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Last night marked the launch of our first Date Night series. Can I take a moment to tell you how wonderful it was sharing the evening with twelve wonderful people who jumped in to be led by Kara Lister Wade as we created shadow boxes of favorite memories. What a treat to meet the significant others of our Landing Strong community. We were offered glimpses into peopleâs favorite moments, sharing details of positive experiences. Twinkle lights, delectable treats and candlelight transformed the space, rounded out by laughter, creativity and good company. Special thanks to Mackenzie for her beautiful charcuterie boxes and assorted sweets. Most remarkable to me was the distance people travelled in order to attend. Two couples drove from three hours away, one couple drove 90 minutes to be there, a few were an hour drive away and one lived locally: such was their commitment to attend. I canât help but reflect on the specialness of the evening, and the residual warmth I am experiencing as a result of it.
Next month weâll be having Chinese food. Please let us know your favorite dish if you are planning on coming. Kara will lead us through a new journey of creativity. These events are for couples, partners or close friends.
Wishing you all a restful and rejuvenating weekend.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
How do you define resilience? Many might think of a titanium vest that deflects bullets or adversity: a protective shell that protects from harm.
Recently, I have come to understand resiliency as something softer, sweeter.
Itâs the ability to work through emotions rather than shutting them down.
To be able to slow down time when the world around us is speeding up.
Itâs about making space to really talk and listen to the people who are important to us, asking for what we need and learning to be emotionally present without judgement.
The work of resiliency happens behind close doors, in sharing circles.
Injured Veterans and First Responders often complain that they are too quick to experience sadness. They view it as evidence of injury since they used to be able to âturn their emotions off.â Me, I view it as a sign of recovery. Emotional availability is resiliency starting to take shape.
A wise First Responder recently shared a Thomas Edison quote with me that captures the notion of resiliency quite succinctly: Most people miss opportunity and look over it because they don’t recognize it looks like overalls and hard work.
Together, we âll strap on our coveralls and not be afraid to stir up some dust. Ultimately thatâs what allows clarity.
But itâs not all about hard work. We also need to have fun. Weâre excited to announce the launch of our new program Date Night. Itâs a chance to reconnect with the fun, playful side of yourself and enjoy a stress-free evening with a close friend or partner. Join us for an evening of creativity, conversation and connection. The first Date Night starts on Thursday, October 13th from 6-9 pm. Thanks to the support of Employment and Social Development Canada, there is no fee for this program. Light refreshments are provided.
We are also registering participants for our second round of Creating Confidence Clarifying Strengths, scheduled to start November 1, 2022. This feel-good program is receiving rave reviews and has no fee thanks to the generous funding of ACOA.
Today is National Day for Truth and Reconciliation: A day dedicated to honouring survivors of the residential schools as well as those children who never returned home. Itâs a time to acknowledge the painful impact these dark periods of our history have had, and continue to have on individuals, families and communities. Public commemoration of the tragic history and ongoing impacts of residential schools has been identified as a vital component of the reconciliation process.
I am incredibly grateful that the words Truth and Reconciliation are given the weight they deserve and are becoming so deeply imbedded within our cultural understanding. We may be powerless to change the past, but as a society we are able to take the time to fully understand the historical impacts of our actions, take stock of where we stand today, and plan for an enlightened future.
On a side note, and in no way to detract from the importance of this day, I also wanted to express gratitude for all of the first responders, hydro and emergency workers who worked tirelessly over the past week to restore power, order and safety to our communities following Hurricane Fiona. My son Albert lives in the 40-unit Dartmouth apartment building that was emergency evacuated in the middle of the night during the hurricane. It was an unsettling time, but the impression that he is left with was the kindness, generosity and positive spirit of neighbours, first responders and volunteers alike. He spoke of the efficiency of an emergency response system that organized warm busses for evicted residents to stay in rather than standing in the raging storm; the kindness and compassion of the Red Cross Workers who handed him a blanket and showed him a cot in the Sportsplex at four in the morning; and the good humour of his neighbours who jokingly commented âthey had always wanted a pool, too bad it was in the living room when they had hoped to have it in their bedroomâ. In true Nova Scotia style, they meet adversity with good humour and a positive spirit.
I am happy to witness the kindness of strangers, generosity of spirit, and willingness of society to undergo a process of self reflection, ensuring all members of our community feel welcomed, respected and cared for.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
Fall on the East Coast is a time of predictably volatile weather. As Mother Nature unleashes Hurricane Fiona upon us, we batten down the hatches, gather our Storm Chips, and hope the power isnât off for too long. We lost part of our house to Dorian. Like a whale floundering in the surf, our roof was harpooned by falling tree limbs, and our side entrance completely flattened. I trust weâll fare better this time around.
On Saturday Iâm supposed to be presenting at a First Responders Conference in Bridgewater. Somehow I donât think thatâs going to happenâŠyouâll all be busy.
Our community is fantastic for emergency preparedness and lending a helping hand. I know many of our first responders will likely be out there battling the elements and its consequences over the next day or so. We send a mental note of thanks on behalf of us all. While we are staying warm and dry inside, we know that you are likely out there working hard to keep us safe.
Warm wishes on a wet cool day,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The relationship we have with ourselves is often the most difficult
We often have automatic self beliefs that stop us from seeing ourselves accurately. If I believe that Iâm not enough in some way, my brain will selectively seek out examples that support this belief. I might ignore the many signs that contradict it.
Group involvement offers a chance to get to know ourselves better. Itâs an opportunity for growth. By seeing ourselves through the compassionate lens of others, we alter the way in which we view ourselves.
The stories we make up about ourselves may not always be true. They might just be habits. When we can name these things, we take away some of their power. We have a chance to tell the story differently.
Are you carrying any stories that you might like to re-write?
Weâd love to hear from you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
