Do you read the obituaries? I do. I didn’t use to, but since I have moved to our small community, I have a deeper sense of connection to those around me. I’m surprised by how often I recognize the names or families listed. Living in a small town, I’m more aware of the trials and tribulations of others in my community. When I pass the fruit and vegetable section at Sobey’s, I expect to run into an old friend who I would often see there, only to be reminded he is no longer with us. When I see fundraising notes and coin jars on the counters of local stores, I’m more inclined to donate knowing that I likely have an indirect connection to the face I see on the bottle. When our first responders pass by areas on the highways that mark the sites of accidents, they too are reminded of losses. Having grown up in downtown Toronto, I wasn’t used to that degree of connection.
I received a letter from my father last week, and for the first time noted a shakiness in his writing that reminds me of his passing years. I pray that those who reside on his busy Toronto street will keep an eye out for him, as I know we look out for each. Together we celebrate, grieve, struggle and grow. Growth, recovery and healing lies in the heart beat of our communities. Strength lies in connection.
In appreciation of each and every one of you who helps to make us strong,
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
It’s supposed to be spring, but it’s still cold outside. We’ve had a couple glimpses of sun and warmth, only to be quickly reminded that winter isn’t too far in our rear view mirror. Remember, objects in mirror are closer than they appear. This year, more so than many I remember, the wait for spring feels long. Winter brought with it a lot of ice, restricting movement and keeping us confined to our homes perhaps more than usual. With the promise of warmer days just around the corner, many of us are likely seeding our lawns, tilling soil, and preparing for growth in the new season.
This growth can take a lot of forms. It may be literally working in your yard, or might look a little different: inviting someone new out to coffee; speaking to a friend or family member from your heart; trying something new; making the decision to get help; or continuing your growth through participating in a workshop.
What kind of growth are you looking for this season? What specific steps can you take towards reaching that goal?
Remember, small steps in the right direction eventually get us somewhere big.
It’s a funny thing sitting down at a computer, composing thoughts that will be sent out into the universe. Who are you I wonder? What are you thinking? What are you feeling? Will I be able to write something that will make a difference in moments when you may feel tired or alone? Am I able to offer something that is helpful, or simply bring a smile? Normally, when I go out for coffee with a friend, I rely on my companions feedback to let me know how the conversation is going. It may be a smile, a glint in the eye, or a shared confession of the soul.
But when I look at my computer screen, it’s different. I imagine you, my on-line friends, busy in your lives, squeezing a quiet moment for yourself so that we might connect and hopefully find points of convergence in our lives. It’s those quiet moments of reflection that cherish, opportunities to dip into the well that nourishes us.
I think today I’d like to make you a cuppa tea, and offer you a freshly baked cookie. There’s something about the smell of fresh chocolate chip cookies that feels like home. Because they’re virtual, they’re calorie free, so you can enjoy as many as you like! Please sit with me as I welcome you into my heart.
Next week Joe and I are off for a well needed break in the Dominican Republic. My main goal is movement. That’s it, allowing my body to go anywhere or do anything without fear of time constraints. I don’t know about you but for me, one of the biggest challenges of aging is range of motion. If I don’t move enough, I lose myself. We’re taking our inflatable paddle boards so that we might explore and dip to the tune of our internal rhythms. By the time you get this blog, I’ll likely be out there, floating in the crystalline Caribbean. I’ll take a piece of you with me, and think of you all as I connect with the sun, the sand, the ocean breeze, and my quiet self. Thank you for enriching my community. For although I may be miles away, I know we are still connected.
Thanks as well to those of you who have offered comments and feedback, it means a great deal and helps guide the next discussion.
My husband recently took a group of 30 students, aged 11-18 to the summit of Kilimanjaro. Every one of them made it to the top. Braving the cold on that last difficult night, the students dug deep to find the resources to keep going when their bodies were shrieking at them to stop. There is no doubt in my mind that if they were walking in isolation, very few would make it. With support, encouragement and companionship of others in the same predicament, the venture somehow feels less daunting. There is, indeed, strength in numbers.
This week I came off an intensive week working with veterans and first responders recovering from Operational Stress Injuries. Even though they are only four days into a ten day program, I already see a difference: a lightness in their faces; straightness in their back; and a shift in the manner they speak to one another. What originally started out as a journey of isolation has transformed into a group effort. Accessing emotions that have been long buried they push forward in their desire for recovery.
Initially avoiding eye contact, they now meet each other’s gaze with respect and admiration. Trained to view expression of emotions as a sign of weakness, they are coming to understand it is, in fact, the opposite. Facing that which we fear is the ultimate act of courage.
“We are alone in this together.” One of them affirmed. With these words I know that something important is shifting. For what started out as a solo journey, has now become a group expedition.
When I was little, my mother repeatedly tried to get me to eat Brussel sprouts.
“I can’t…I don’t like them!” I’d exclaim
“I didn’t give you many”, she’d insist. “Don’t leave the table until you’ve eaten them up”.
And with these simple words, the challenge was on. Belinda vs. Brussel sprouts.
Resting my chin on my hands, I’d stare down the offending cabbages. Determined not to weaken my resolve, I alternated my gaze between the congealing green lumps in front of me, and the painfully slow moving hands of the wall clock. Eventually, she’d give in, removing the plate and sending me upstairs to my room. I’d won…or so I thought.
I’m reminded of the fact that sometimes if we really don’t want to do something, no-one can make us do it. Even if it may be good for us.
The funny thing is, I don’t actually mind Brussel sprouts now. It’s all a matter of how it’s prepared.
Trying new things is hard, and stressful. Like making the decision to begin therapy, or sign up for a treatment group.
“But I don’t do groups!” you may exclaim.
Ah yes…remember, it all boils down to how it’s done.
We’re cooking up some great programs for you.
Starting May 24 and running five successive Fridays, Landing Strong is offering Stop faking good and start feeling good: A program for managing emotions. I’ll be co-leading with Psychologist Patricia MacDonald and Trauma Yoga Therapist Caelin Nadin. A powerhouse team who know how to have fun. Even if programs aren’t normally your thing, come out and give it a try…
It’ll be good for you 😉
Drop us a line at info@landingstrong.com or call to reserve your spot 902 472-2972. The program is already half full so book soon to avoid disappointment. We will work with your insurance providers to obtain authorization for you to attend.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
Have you ever wanted to just get away from it all? Burst away from the demands and expectations of daily life? I have. This weekend I’m going to Toronto to meet with family. You know what I intend to do? Pay to be locked up with them. That’s right…have an escape room experience.
I know what you’re thinking:
”You need to get out more Belinda. Paying to be locked up with family members…really!!”
I’ll let you know how it goes. I’ve never tried one before.
So…the fun may be brief, or you may not see me again…if we can’t figure how to get out.
Honestly though, I think we all just need to escape from time to time. Do something fun and with people that we care about. I challenge you all to try something different. Step out of that comfort zone. If you’d like to share stories/pictures of your escape, we can post on our Landing Strong Facebook site. Just send them to Mackenzie at mseagram@landingstrong.com. Oh by the way, she is part of this as well, so if social media messaging suddenly stops, you’ll know we’re really trapped. 🙂
Keep your posts as anonymous as you wish. Perhaps your ideas might inspire others. I’ll post something of our experience.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Founder, Landing Strong
