This week I looked out the window and noticed a flurry of tiny snowflakes making their way down from the skies. Weather forecasters were calling for a large storm, and I knew that was going to make for a complicated day at the office.
“Small flakes big snow” one of the clients mentioned on their way out, “get your snow shovels ready!”
I’ve heard that expression before, and wondered about its origins. Is there some ancient wisdom I’m unaware of that would allow me to be able to better predict my day simply by looking at the size of snowflakes? A few minutes of google research later, I realize it’s not quite so simple. Warmer temperatures lead to higher water content, and thus larger flakes. Colder atmospheric temperature forms smaller flakes because there isn’t as much sticky stuff to hold the flakes together. So in a way It’s true: if it’s warm outside it isn’t likely to stay snowy for long…it might turn to slushy wet stuff or rain. Small snowflakes and lower temperatures are a sign that whatever falls is likely to hang around for longer.
It strikes me that change is a bit like the snow. If we try to do too much too soon (large flakes) it isn’t likely to be lasting. Small repeated steps in the right direction, however, accumulate over time and can lead to a mountain of change. If we turn the heat up on ourselves too quickly, it’s not sustainable. If I want to take up running, for example, and start by trying to run 5 km at once, it’s likely too much. Sure I did it some years ago, but that doesn’t mean my body will recognize that movement now. A series of small steps, building up over time will increase my stamina so that I’m better equipped to do the run. Maybe a better goal is to start walking 10,000 steps a day instead. If I want any positive change to be lasting, easing in with gradual small changes is the way to go.
Keeping in line with our New Year commitment to self-compassion, I will embrace my inner (running) warrior, and enjoy pleasant walks through the snow this winter. Enjoying each small flake as it accumulates into something bigger. Maybe you will too?
Warm wishes,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
The Holidays can be a difficult time for many, with increased expectations around social engagements, drinking, crowds and overindulgences. What if we simply focus on what the holiday spirit truly means. No matter what our spiritual beliefs may be, it’s a time when people come together to celebrate, offer support to one another, and reflect on the passing year.
It’s undeniably a time of year where shopping, preparing elaborate meals, and commercialism seemingly take over. It’s also true that almost half of all charitable donations made by Canadians happen in the last two months of the year. This suggests that despite the stress associated with the season, it’s a time when people are thinking of those who face more challenging circumstances.
In the midst of one of the busiest times of the year, we are able to set aside our differences and recognize our shared humanity. When people are spending the most and perhaps are feeling the stress of their financial state, they recognize that this discomfort isn’t temporary for many. When they are surrounded by those they love, thoughts turn to those who may not be as fortunate.
We hope you’re able to take some time over the holidays to reflect on all the small things that are meaningful to you in your life. We are grateful for our connection with you, our sense of shared purpose as we support those who are injured, and our appreciation for those who continue to put themselves in harm’s way so we may be safe.
Warmest wishes for a safe and happy holiday season,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
High performance athletes can’t always do what’s expected. Occasionally, they might have a minor sprain or injury that needs nurturing. In the case of a major setback, they might be on the sidelines for a longer period of time. This doesn’t mean they aren’t a top performer. It simply means that no matter what we’re good at, or what we’re trying to work on, none of us can be good at it all of the time.
Sometimes when we have a setback, it might be easy to doubt whether we’ve made any progress at all.
“Maybe the good mood I had last month wasn’t real…”
“I feel like I’m back at square one”
“I thought I was doing so much better, what does it mean now that I’m really struggling?”
As in any journey, the path has peaks and valleys. The emotions you feel at any one point in time will never be a constant. True, the good times will pass… but so will the bad.
The most important thing to remember in those moments of self-doubt is that’s the time to reach out. It’s totally counter-intuitive, but a certain way to turn things around quickly. When we most want to retreat, that’s actually when we need to advance.
Don’t wait until you’re feeling good to join one of our groups… it would be a very empty room if we all took that approach. Take a look at the programs we’re offering in the new year and see if there’s one that seems right for you. There’s a seat waiting for you.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
This week, I’m on the South Shore running an intensive Veterans Retreat. It’s a chance to disconnect from everything, and spend uninterrupted time devoted to assisting injured veterans and first responders recover from trauma exposure.
We sit in a close knit circle, and start each morning by asking participants how they slept, and whether they had any new insights following the work we did on the previous day. Most importantly, we ask them if they had any dreams. Whether they’re good or bad, I’ve come to appreciate the value of dreams in trauma recovery.
No one likes having nightmares. As children, we’re taught to try to not think about them, distracting ourselves from the images that most disturb us.
The problem with trying to suppress thoughts is that it keeps them bubbling to the surface while we sleep. Let’s call it our nocturnal internal guidance system.
The brain knows what it wants to process. Whether we like it or not, bad dreams are our mind’s way of letting us know that we have unprocessed memories or emotions that need unloading.
So, I bet you know what I’m going to say next…the only way to stop the bad dreams is to work through the underlying cause.
It’s only by shining a light on our darkest places that we are able to remove the threat… see what needs to be seen so that we can move forward.
Strange as it seems, dreams (good or bad) are our friends. They serve as our inner compass, pointing us in the direction of where we need to look.
So instead of shying away from bad dreams, consider leaning forward, taking a closer look at what your subconscious is trying to tell you. It’ll generally point you in the direction of health.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
There’s a Lakota expression that says “Healing takes place in the spaces between people”.
Each time we tell our story, it changes. An evolving narrative that morphs depending on who we tell it to and how we’re received. It is easy to get stuck, repeating the same tale internally in a repeated manner. Through sharing, we open the window to new ways of viewing ourselves, and differing interpretations of the past.
It’s not what happened to us that causes trauma, but rather the meaning of the experience that determines its impact.
We may have experienced a trauma alone, but in the retelling be supported, diminishing our sense of isolation.
We may judge ourselves negatively from the perspective of our youth, but through our adult lens, find the wisdom of compassion.
We may only be able to see something from one perspective, but with the compassion of peers open our eyes to other possibilities.
In this technological society that we live in, it’s easy to feel lonely despite a multitude of internet connections. I invite you to take the time to share even a small bit of your story in real time with someone you trust. Notice what small shifts might occur when you no longer carry the experience alone.
Warm regards,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych. Executive Director, Landing Strong
