Looking for the good stuff
She looks so innocent sitting in the corner of my office. My little porcelain sparrow. Many a day I’ve glanced idly at her while deep in thought. A simple décor item that brings me joy. In the past week, three people have told me I must get rid of her. How has she offended them I wonder? She’s just been sitting there so quietly, minding her own business. I’m informed that in a Netflix series entitled ‘Dead to Me’, my little feathered friend served as a murder weapon. Even looking at her triggers some of my clients.
A couple of questions come to mind: do I remove her, and therefore eliminate the offending associations? Or do I keep her, allowing my clients to realize that her presence is benign and that not all sparrows are created equal?
These questions form the basis of PTSD. It is an injury of isolation and avoidance. We often believe that by eliminating or reducing exposure to triggering stimuli, we can keep ourselves safe. In truth, this just keeps us injured. Only by allowing ourselves to experience triggers without the associated negative consequences can we recover.
So the bottom line is…she’s staying!
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Should she stay or should she go?
She looks so innocent sitting in the corner of my office. My little porcelain sparrow. Many a day I’ve glanced idly at her while deep in thought. A simple décor item that brings me joy. In the past week, three people have told me I must get rid of her. How has she offended them I wonder? She’s just been sitting there so quietly, minding her own business. I’m informed that in a Netflix series entitled ‘Dead to Me’, my little feathered friend served as a murder weapon. Even looking at her triggers some of my clients.
A couple of questions come to mind: do I remove her, and therefore eliminate the offending associations? Or do I keep her, allowing my clients to realize that her presence is benign and that not all sparrows are created equal?
These questions form the basis of PTSD. It is an injury of isolation and avoidance. We often believe that by eliminating or reducing exposure to triggering stimuli, we can keep ourselves safe. In truth, this just keeps us injured. Only by allowing ourselves to experience triggers without the associated negative consequences can we recover.
So the bottom line is…she’s staying!
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
It’s a good thing she’s cute
Seven weeks ago we got a new puppy; a Pomsky – part Pomeranian, part Husky. Kira is a fluffy ball of happiness, mischievousness and energy. Her favorite pastimes are stealing and hiding our socks and pulling astonishing escape-artist maneuvers. Our fitness levels are rapidly improving as we do laps chasing her around the yard.
Although Kira is much smaller than her Husky ancestors, her body remembers the joy of running as though she’s pulling a dog sled. In true Husky fashion, she likes to hold lengthy conversations with us regarding her needs and opinions and does so compellingly. Needless to say, she’s the only dog allowed to sleep in our bed. Kira’s identity runs deep. Even three generations of breeding doesn’t change who she is.
If you are injured, you may think that a part of you is lost or gone forever. In truth, who you are at your core, never really changes. You may not have the same physique you had in your 20’s, but your desire to be of service is likely still strong. The dedication, determination, and values that brought you to your work continue to serve as guiding principles in your life.
Time does change us. This can be a good thing. If we better learned to recognize our strengths, it might be easier to embrace changes in our lives rather than resisting them.
Like our furry little ball of fluff, good things can come in unexpected packaging.
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Communities Of Kindness
It’s easy to believe the world is going to hell in a handbasket. I’d like to provide evidence to the contrary.
I went to a rugby tournament with King’s-Edgehill School recently and was speaking to Robert, our bus driver. A former 911 Dispatch Operator, Robert is now joyfully transporting kids on a 60-passenger school bus.
“I LOVE my job!” Robert exclaimed excitedly.
“Why is that?” I asked.
“The kids are amazing, thoughtful, well-behaved, and appreciative. Every day, when they get off the bus, every student, without exception, thanks me.”
I hear similar feedback from teachers:
“Every day after class, the kids say thank you as they are leaving the room.” a Junior school teacher shares.
Even coaches have good things to say about their players’ behavior: “After each game, the players come up and shake my hand and thank me,” a rugby coach exclaimed. “They even helped me to pick up garbage that some of the fans had left behind.”
These students are the leaders of tomorrow; kind, thoughtful, and appreciative.
This fills me with promise and hope…something pretty wonderful to ponder.
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Continuing To Make A Difference In Big Ways
We could be friends
As life zooms by, it’s easy to get caught up in the high-speed lane. The list of commitments grows longer, and sleep…well, that sometimes eludes me.
In an effort to still my busy brain, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness each evening, before settling down for the night’s rest.
My mindfulness practice is simple: it consists of drawing; even if it’s only for five minutes. I’m pretty good at botanical drawings but have never mastered the art of sketching people. I found a good YouTube tutorial and am trying to etch out a quick line drawing of a face each evening.
I’d like to say it’s going well…but it isn’t. My efforts are pretty rough-looking. That’s okay, I remind myself. These things take time.
While I draw, I utter the simple word “grace” to myself. It’s a reminder to allow myself time to settle in, and over time, to grow. I believe that my sketched forms will start taking on a more human shape if I keep practicing.
Will you join the practice of extending grace to yourself?
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
We could be friends
We could be friends
As life zooms by, it’s easy to get caught up in the high-speed lane. The list of commitments grows longer, and sleep…well, that sometimes eludes me.
In an effort to still my busy brain, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness each evening, before settling down for the night’s rest.
My mindfulness practice is simple: it consists of drawing; even if it’s only for five minutes. I’m pretty good at botanical drawings but have never mastered the art of sketching people. I found a good YouTube tutorial and am trying to etch out a quick line drawing of a face each evening.
I’d like to say it’s going well…but it isn’t. My efforts are pretty rough-looking. That’s okay, I remind myself. These things take time.
While I draw, I utter the simple word “grace” to myself. It’s a reminder to allow myself time to settle in, and over time, to grow. I believe that my sketched forms will start taking on a more human shape if I keep practicing.
Will you join the practice of extending grace to yourself?
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Before I lay me down to rest…
As life zooms by, it’s easy to get caught up in the high-speed lane. The list of commitments grows longer, and sleep…well, that sometimes eludes me.
In an effort to still my busy brain, I made a commitment to practice mindfulness each evening, before settling down for the night’s rest.
My mindfulness practice is simple: it consists of drawing; even if it’s only for five minutes. I’m pretty good at botanical drawings but have never mastered the art of sketching people. I found a good YouTube tutorial and am trying to etch out a quick line drawing of a face each evening.
I’d like to say it’s going well…but it isn’t. My efforts are pretty rough-looking. That’s okay, I remind myself. These things take time.
While I draw, I utter the simple word “grace” to myself. It’s a reminder to allow myself time to settle in, and over time, to grow. I believe that my sketched forms will start taking on a more human shape if I keep practicing.
Will you join the practice of extending grace to yourself?
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
I feel the need to grow (things)
We are well into spring, and with it, a chance to plant seeds, prompting the earth to give birth to a wonderous assortment of flowers and vegetables. I feel a deep sense of satisfaction digging my hands into the rich soil, enjoying the warmth of the long-awaited sun on my back. I know that my intentions are taking root.
Things take time to grow. We can’t eat the fruit that we planted today. In some cases, it may take years. It starts with an intention, followed by a period of nurturing, and care. This is not unlike any desired change in our lives. With patience, commitment, and gentle care, growth is inevitable.
It’s easy to get frustrated if things don’t feel quite right at a given moment. I hope that we allow ourselves the same grace as we might to the seeds that we plant, being patient as we allow ourselves to grow.
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Do your actions reflect your values?
I recently made the effort to visit an old friend who is near and dear to my heart. I knew her from a previous life, and we both had intentions of staying in touch. But you know how it goes…weeks turn into months which somehow turn into years. The visit was wonderful, and we picked up right where we left off. I left feeling grounded, happy and inspired.
Do you have someone in your life who has somehow made their way unintentionally into your rearview mirror? If so, I encourage you to drop them a line, reminding them what they mean to you.
Our actions do reflect our intentions. This is very much the theme of our upcoming Healthy Living program which allows an opportunity for participants to examine habits, try new skills and develop new hobbies. Mornings are spent at Landing Strong. After enjoying lunch together, we go as a group to Windsor Maker’s Studio for an opportunity to develop our artistic skills (e.g., pottery, woodworking, painting, drawing, glasswork).
Is the life you are leading reflective of the values and people you hold most dear?
Come get involved with us…you may be surprised by how much fun you have.
Warm thoughts,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
Do your actions reflect your values?
I recently made the effort to visit an old friend who is near and dear to my heart. I knew her from a previous life, and we both had intentions of staying in touch. But you know how it goes…weeks turn into months which somehow turn into years. The visit was wonderful, and we picked up right where we left off. I left feeling grounded, happy and inspired.
Do you have someone in your life who has somehow made their way unintentionally into your rearview mirror? If so, I encourage you to drop them a line, reminding them what they mean to you.
Our actions do reflect our intentions. This is very much the theme of our upcoming Healthy Living program which allows an opportunity for participants to examine habits, try new skills and develop new hobbies. Mornings are spent at Landing Strong. After enjoying lunch together, we go as a group to Windsor Maker’s Studio for an opportunity to develop our artistic skills (e.g., pottery, woodworking, painting, drawing, glasswork).
Is the life you are leading reflective of the values and people you hold most dear?
Come get involved with us…you may be surprised by how much fun you have.
Warmly,
Belinda Seagram, Ph.D., R. Psych.
Executive Director, Landing Strong
